ArnoldS

Thanks, Bonnie. Your post really helped.

Thank you lciado.

Thank you lciado.

It's 4:30 am here on the east coast. One thing leads into the other. To start off with, I am seeing the smoking cessation lady at the hospital to get off cigarettes. I did well on the Nicotrol Inhaler. Then when I went off of it, I started smoking again. Then I tried cold turkey. I lasted a day and a half. Now, I'm smoking again. I'm going to talk to her about going back on the Nicotrol Inhaler and weening off of it slowly. Now, that affects my surgery date. My surgery date being pushed back doesn't really upset me any longer. I have to follow a healthy eating plan weather I get the surgery or not. I've been walking 30 min. a day. My front thigh muscles were like jelly to the point that I couldn't raise my legs to put my pants on. In the short time that I've been exercising them, I can now lift my legs to put my pants on and get in and out of a van. I got a call from my son-in-law, who is like a son to me. I'm kind of angry about my family support system. When I wanted the surgery before, everybody was against it. No matter what I said, they thought it was a ridiculous idea. Now that my ex has gotten it done, and is doing so well, they all want me to get it. I'm feeling pressure from them to have this surgery. My dilemma is that I don't know if I can quit smoking and stay on my plan at the same time. It's been darn hard trying to do both. I feel pressure from them now to get this surgery. Because of their input, I can't figure out any more if I want it for me or if I am doing it to keep them happy. The decision has to be mine and mine alone. Either way, I know that I have to keep on this road of a healthy lifestyle that I've started. It does feel good to feel my muscle tone coming back. It does feel good to be eating properly. Now, I do want to quit smoking. Not because it's a requirement of the surgery, but because when I was on the NRTs, it felt good not to smoke. However, I don't know if I can stay quit without the Nicotrol Inhaler. I am so mixed up right now that any input, advice, comments, anything is welcome. Thanks for reading and your help.

It's 4:30 am here on the east coast. One thing leads into the other. To start off with, I am seeing the smoking cessation lady at the hospital to get off cigarettes. I did well on the Nicotrol Inhaler. Then when I went off of it, I started smoking again. Then I tried cold turkey. I lasted a day and a half. Now, I'm smoking again. I'm going to talk to her about going back on the Nicotrol Inhaler and weening off of it slowly. Now, that affects my surgery date. My surgery date being pushed back doesn't really upset me any longer. I have to follow a healthy eating plan weather I get the surgery or not. I've been walking 30 min. a day. My front thigh muscles were like jelly to the point that I couldn't raise my legs to put my pants on. In the short time that I've been exercising them, I can now lift my legs to put my pants on and get in and out of a van. I got a call from my son-in-law, who is like a son to me. I'm kind of angry about my family support system. When I wanted the surgery before, everybody was against it. No matter what I said, they thought it was a ridiculous idea. Now that my ex has gotten it done, and is doing so well, they all want me to get it. I'm feeling pressure from them to have this surgery. My dilemma is that I don't know if I can quit smoking and stay on my plan at the same time. It's been darn hard trying to do both. I feel pressure from them now to get this surgery. Because of their input, I can't figure out any more if I want it for me or if I am doing it to keep them happy. The decision has to be mine and mine alone. Either way, I know that I have to keep on this road of a healthy lifestyle that I've started. It does feel good to feel my muscle tone coming back. It does feel good to be eating properly. Now, I do want to quit smoking. Not because it's a requirement of the surgery, but because when I was on the NRTs, it felt good not to smoke. However, I don't know if I can stay quit without the Nicotrol Inhaler. I am so mixed up right now that any input, advice, comments, anything is welcome. Thanks for reading and your help.

I don't know if I did this quote thing right. Mokee, I am so sorry about your husband. I hope and pray his surgery goes well. I know that I stay in denial about cancer, especially lung cancer. My brother who has smoked like me, is dying right now of lung cancer. The way that I deal with it is to stay in denial. Just typing this, I can feel myself going numb. I remained nicotine free today. Wishing only the best for you and your husband.

1SuperBonBon, Haha. I haven't killed anyone yet. But, I do feel angry and on edge. My insurance requires a 2 month period for being off nicotine. Let's see what happens.

That is sooo sweet. Bet that made your day.

Welcome, Powderkeg42.

Thank you all for your support. I saw the smoking cessation lady at the hospital yesterday. She wants me to do this jornaling of when I use the Nicotrol Inhaler, how many puffs I take. Then she wants to go through this process of weaning me off of the Inhaler. Ugh! I've had it w this preoccupation with cigarettes. I smoked my last one this morning. I'm just going to go through what I have to go through and be done w them.

I tend to fall back into old habits, too. My thing was that I started smoking again. Then I got into the "all or nothing" mindset. So, I started to overeat. Fortunately, I live alone. So, I don't have any sugar in the house. Phew! I don't like this pre-op program pressure. Every time I do something or eat something, I feel like there's someone who is going to eventually say that I can't have the surgery because.....

Wow, Fabsfluff......after reading your post, it made me realize that my original post on this thread was insensitive and lacking in compassion. For that, I am truly sorry. You know what you described (and you are so good at putting those feelings into words) is a fear that I have myself which I keep stuffing down. Like I said, I'm pre-op. However, I've already been on the thread about plastic surgery. This is truly an issue w me already. And, yes, there is discomfort in being fat. But, at least i'm comfortable with it mentally. This is who I am. This is what I am. This is how people know me. This is how I know me. I'm glad that you brought up this discussion. Now, my head is reeling.lol

My surgery is scheduled for November 14. However, it might be postponed b/c I'm having trouble getting off of cigarettes. I smoked my last one today (again.)

Awesome. I've been chasing onderland for years now. Wtg!

Wow. You look good. Awesome.