I understand completely. It's admitting that you need help with something that not everyone needs help with. It's hard. You have to make the decision for yourself, though, about what is best for you, not what was best for a friend or relative. I have heard that from others in my own life that I should just quit eating and be on the post-surgery diet and I'd lose weight. And I would, but I know I'd gain it back plus some. I know what I need, and I need this. Hope you can come to a good place with what you want and need.