katikati

Hi, Juny. I know exactly what you mean. At my pre-op class they shared a list of reasons why not to have this surgery, and I was like, "oh, crap... that was my list of why I wanted to have this surgery." You know what, though, I happen to think some of those reasons are perfectly valid, and have their roots in the right reasons. One of the items on the not a good reason list was "Because I want a boyfriend." Hell yeah I want a boyfriend, and then a husband, and then a family of my own. I know why they say not to make this your reason. It's because they have no control of your personality, and there's a chance you're just a horrible person or totally undateable, and surgery won't change that. If you're unsatisfied with your ability to get a boyfriend post-op, then it can lead to feelings of defeat, and that can lead to slipping in your meal plan, etc. I think for the fully informed, though, this is a great reason to want surgery. We're not fools. We know results are not guaranteed and and that losing weight doesn't magically reveal the number of your future spouse underneath a roll of fat or something. I had this surgery because I want my life, I want my happiness, and the only way to have access to the possibility of those things is to have my health. I'm not going to lie to myself. If I knew I could eat brownies and pasta every day and still have everything I want, plus feel great in my body, plus not be in pain, plus not be inviting a plethora of health issues, I'd be face down in it every day. However, tragically, that is not the case, so I choose this. Health is the answer to my happiness and fulfullment of desires in my life, and so I choose health. Regarding goal weight, I feel the same. I picked a random number, and that number is higher than the chart tells me my ideal weight based on my height. I did this for a few reasons. First, I'm certain I'll have excess skin to contend with, which will weigh something. Second, I think I must be more dense than other people. I don't look as large as other people at my weight. Third, the number isn't going to matter to me. How I feel and how I look are the goals. I feel guilty sometimes, because I can't really picture losing all the weight. I would thrilled if I lost enough weight to be one of those beautiful curvy, voluptuous women like Christina Hendricks, or Adele. Do I think I'll actually look like that? Not so much, but my point is, if I get to a manageable where I can dress cute, and my health stats classify me as healthy, I will consider myself at my personal goal. I went through and read your blog entries and some of your posts. How do I say this without sounding like a weirdo? I really like you. You just seem cool and like someone I'd be friends with in real life. I relate to your thought processes, we're near the same age (I'm 33) and place in life, and you're intelligent. I tossed you a friend request. I'd enjoy keeping up with your journey as we go through this.