I am right there with you. I have tried to go through my insurance and after a year of red tape, have decided to go to Mexico for self pay.I am depressed, self loathing at times, my body aches all over, I'm always tired, always hungry and quite frankly, hate getting out of bed everyday. I vowed earlier today that this will be the last Christmas like this. There is hope. I read about it everyday on here. It isn't going to be easy but these people on here attest that it can be done. We are going to get there.
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"-
Dori, Finding Nemo :-)