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Hey, time flew! Best of luck to you and swift healing. ~Cheri

I hate Spanx but lots love them. They just make me overheat and don't suck in enough for my tastes. I can't give advice on the arms but for a high waist cincher I LOVE LOVE LOVE my Rago shapewear. It's old school - quite retro - but leaves a great line under my clothes and pulls everything in, revealing MY shape, not the shape of my skin. I like the Rago 821 as it has super firm control and really pulls it all in. It goes from directly under my bra to the top of my hips and nobody has ever realized it's under my clothes. I have one in nude and one in black so they work under anything. It all depends on how much you want from your shapewear. If you're looking for some moderate smoothing, things like Spanx or the Maidenform shapewear will work. If you want something that really shapes you, search out the retro shapewear. For some folks it's too uncomfortable but I love it. Then again, I wear custom corsets, too, so I'm used to and enjoy that constriction. Good luck! ~Cheri

Thank you, PdxMan. Not only have I long enjoyed your posts, your perspective and the fact that I feel that like me, you try to balance genuinely helping people with convincing them to help themselves, but I guess I needed validation from an actual vet that's been here a long time, too. As for Nicolanz's response that seems to infer (oh so politely) that I should leave VST since I don't want to play by the exact same set of nicey nice rules she feels should run the site, I find that incredibly offensive, regardless of how you delicately worded the notion. I get on VST mostly to help other people. I've only posted a handful of posts in over three years asking for help...and sadly? I got very few responses each time. But it's draining to log on and see I have seven messages and six of them are questions that are currently being addressed or people asking me to do their research for them. Why? Because I DO care, and I DO want to help people and I feel an obligation to respond to everyone that takes the time to message me, even when I have more important things to do or I've already tackled the topic a dozen times. As people that do converse with me via PM know, I do my best to give the same (wordy) thoughtful and helpful responses when the question is something I have actual experience with or feel I can help with, and to date, I've ignored only ONE PM I've gotten...and it was a bizarre one asking me to do things that have nothing to do with VST. If I scare people off or make them insecure about PMing me, odds are good those are exactly the people with exactly the questions I didn't want to answer. And as this is a community that numbers in the THOUSANDS, I have every confidence that they'll be able to ask the question of someone more approachable that can answer the same questions with a smile on their face after several years. When you've spent more than three years here repeating yourself over and over again, come back and revisit this conversation and I'm sure your perspective will have changed. I love VST. I got very little feedback the few times I reached out while I was working towards goal, but I try to give back because of how that felt. But I am sick to death of the constant nicey-nice police patrolling every post out there dictating how exactly people are required to respond or ask questions here. I am not deliberately rude or offensive and I give really thoughtful responses that clearly take a lot of time. If my personal pet peeve is that people can afford the time to send a PM or make a post about a question, but not the time to actually see if it's already been answered seven million times before - sometimes the very same day they post! - well, that's understandable to those of us that have actually been here a while. Frankly, this is the very same lack of ownership and responsibility that bothers me about the entire process - people that don't want to do the work to make the most of their sleeve are here in abundance, too. They want the easy way. And that often translates into what I call (and try to avoid answering) "lazy posts" that address things discussed and beaten to death here. I promise - a thread about the three week stall is just as relevant if it's ten days old or a year old. I avoid a huge majority of posts nowadays just to avoid the frustration this brings. But then those posts wind up in my PM box, and that's why I very nicely and politely asked for advice, from EXPERIENCED VETS, on how they deal with the same thing. If I have to weed through and avoid posts, people can do the same thing if my posts offend them. There's a block button for a reason. I don't think there's a good reason to use it and never have, but if it makes people have the kumbaya experience they long for on the VST site, it will certainly help them out. To the vets that took the time to respond with thoughtful responses that actually address what I asked, I appreciate that. And Amytug - great idea, and one I'm definitely considering. ~Cheri

Oh for goodness' sake, no need to flounce. If you don't want to be on VST, it's as easy as disabling your notifications and not visiting the site. If you want to limit your activity it's up to you. Only you can make the choice to let replies you don't care for bother you. In more than three years I've seen my share of rude or insensitive posts and had some directed at me and even made a few myself. But by and far I've read thousands upon thousands of polite, helpful and genuine posts here from people simply trying to help one another. If you choose to let the very few outweigh the benefits of the very many, that's entirely your choice, certainly. I've needed a few of my own VST breaks over the years and it's fine to step away and come back later. In the real world, we have to deal with people that aren't as friendly as we'd like, too, and we don't get to just block them or delete them from our lives. It's a huge mistake to venture onto a public forum full of strangers and expect people to answer your questions in a particular way. Saying "that's not the kind of support I was looking for" doesn't cut it here. We are a community of thousands of people each with a different view and experience and yes, a different way of phrasing things. It's one thing to be trolled or called names, but pointing fingers at people because they didn't respond with the cuddly hugs that were expected is unfair and unreasonable. I encourage you to "try to stay" but the reality is that people come and go here. Grace and I don't always agree but it's a fact that she spends a lot of her time here on VST trying to help people and she'll definitely tell the hard truth (from her perspective), and she should not have to apologize for that. Not all support is rainbow sparkly. Some people here respond best to a nice, swift, virtual kick in the pants. Clearly you're not one of them. ~Cheri

I think that what you're facing is the time to deal with the emotional side of weight loss. For long term success and health (mentally, as well as physically) this is something we have to do. Many folks don't tackle it until maintenance, but I think the earlier you can face some of this, the better. It's no fun to be the slow loser. And frankly, the "I lost 100 pounds in six months" posts get a lot more traffic and attention. It's easy to compare and feel disappointed. Beyond that, we set goals for ourselves and when we don't meet them it's frustrating and disappointing. It took me 17 months (no pre-op diet) to lose 105 pounds and reach my goal. There were times when I wanted to bang my head against the wall. And I won't lie - even two years out, sometimes I want to shake people for venting about "slow loss" when they're shedding eight and ten pounds a month...when many months I lost one or two pounds and experienced two nine week stalls. If you're doing the right things for your diet and you're still losing (even slowly) then you are on the right track. It's just not the express train we hope for when we start. If you give up and quit, you will not make yourself any happier, and you'll still be unhappy with your body. I have achieved goal. And even if I weren't pregnant right now, my normal goal weight is overweight. It bothers me, sure. I'll bet that part of it is excess skin, sure. But it took me a while to wrap my head around the fact that I was not going to be the girl complaining that I was losing too much weight. And it took me a while at goal for my body to reshape a bit and for me to really learn to love and appreciate my new, smaller body. No, it's the the swimsuit model body I secretly hoped to have. But I've done a great job and worked hard and it shows. I look a million times better than pre-op. Try to be forgiving of your body. One year post op and not at goal yet isn't enough time to get used to this new you. Friends like that are either not your friends or are letting their own insecurities out and hurting you in the process. And honestly, unless you can tell people how they make you feel, they do not know (or at least can pretend they do not know). Women are competitive. We all want to be pretty. Too many women take this too far and feel that if they aren't the prettiest girl in the group, they can't be friends. If you search VST you'll see plenty of posts from people that lost friends over WLS. It's sad and it's silly and shallow, but sometimes it can't be helped. And yes, people DO treat us differently when we lose weight. Sure, I'm more outgoing and fun now. But that doesn't explain everything. Plain and simple, people are drawn to pretty objects and don't even realize how hurtful it is when they're the same people that didn't have time for us when we were large. It's hard to learn how to have a voice. I can say that one on one counseling or perhaps some self-help books (or other weight loss journey stories) might really benefit you here. Many of us hide in our fat and hide our feelings with food. I was absolutely in denial about how I was sabotaging myself until several months post op. It's very hard to overcome emotional eating and poor habits like binges or grazing if you don't deal with these issues. And even if you do overcome the food habits - you still have to find new, healthy ways to express yourself. This is something we can tell you that you need to do, but only you are going to be able to find a way to do it. I did grow a backbone post op. I really felt I'd had one before, but it wasn't until I realized that I was important and worth fighting for that I really started to stand up for myself. In my case, family was an issue and I basically cut out all of the baggage I didn't need in my life. It was hard - it was really, really hard to confront things that had been deep down bothering me for most of my life. But it was so liberating and so freeing once I did and I encourage you to do whatever it takes to reach the same point. What's the purpose of losing weight if we remain trapped in our bodies and our emotions anyway? This isn't just a physical journey for those of us that have battled obesity most of our lives. I wish you good luck. There are some emotional eating and binge threads out there if you search and they have some great stories. There's a thread in the Vet board right now that you can read about dealing with the emotional side of weight loss. Don't give up on your journey, either the physical or the emotional one. Life at goal, and a life that's happy and healthy and free of all that past garbage is really amazing and wonderful. I'm finally a happy person and yes, it's partly tied up in the weight loss. But more than being a physical thing, it's really the emotional burdens I finally put down that the weight loss made me confront that made the difference. ~Cheri

Dehydration? It could also be an issue with dairy. Time to call your doctor, just in case there's a more serious issue. ~Cheri

The surgery alone doesn't make us high risk. Other factors that might not have resolved with weight loss surgery (high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.) can get you classified that way but if you're not of "advanced maternal age" and are in generally good health you'll be treated like a regular pregnancy patient. Which for me, was a bit upsetting. After a set of twins complete with bi-weekly visits and ultrasounds, I was a bit discouraged to only be seen once a month and get "just" one ultrasound. Such is life with a normal, single pregnancy! ~Cheri

shakes are fine according to my doc and for a while were the only way I could get real Protein due to morning sickness. Shakes didn't bother me but just about all food made me sick for months. They're a fantastic way to up your nutritional stats and add calories to your daily intake. Congrats! ~Cheri

I never had a great experience with any pill - too sensitive to side effects, even when trying different varieties. I had a Mirena and for controlling endometriosis it was wonderful and the side effects were less than with pills. If you're at goal or close, it might be a great option for you. A lot of women have it and love it - but when mine was in I could not lose weight at all. Once it was removed, I got pregnant as soon as I tried, so that was not an issue. For my needs, NuvaRing was the best form of birth control and it's what I'll resume after this pregnancy. It controls my endometriosis without any side effects or weight gain and it's simple to stop using - no need to have it removed by a doctor. I might also consider Mirena again but I'm not certain. My Mirena fell out post VSG and was replaced once before I finally opted to have it removed for good due to sluggish weight loss. Because I'll need to lose what weight I've put on in pregnancy I'm not sure it's the best option for me at this time. But for light/almost nonexistent periods and controlling endometriosis pain? It was by far the best treatment I've ever had. I'd think on what you've used in the past that's worked well for your body with minimal side effects and choose a similar treatment. NuvaRing is easy to try for just a few months. I'd stay away from pills unless you've had a great experience with them before and had no side effects in the past. Good luck! ~Cheri

I'm just curious how you folks handle PMs from newbies. I get quite a few of them and usually do not mind helping out and answering. For fear of this becoming a rant or something that will get locked, I'll just generalize, but I get a lot of messages that are more along the lines of "justify this surgery to me" or "do my research for me" or "give me the magic answer for my weight loss pace/struggle/scale woes/etc." and similar things. I get plenty of folks that actually have a similar situation or stats and feel more comfortable sending a message off there. And of course I love comparing stories with other folks that have reached goal or are close to it and have seen a post of mine and want to talk more about it privately. I feel like there's a line here, too, and I walk too close to burning my self out completely on VST sometimes. I have a life outside of WLS - a new baby on the way, five year old twins and I just moved 8,000 miles and am staying in my in-laws house until my husband can join me and we can start the final leg of our journey. And we still have to find a place to live! Ninety percent of why I'm active on VST really is to help other people out, but I am not Google, you know? What ways have you other vets found to deal with this kindly and politely? I do want to help but the vast majority of PMs are about things I've discussed on the forum already and that other folks have talked about a million times, too. But I'd also feel guilty just deleting messages or ignoring them, too. ~Cheri

I guess all I'm really saying is that for me, at least, (probably because our main fertility issues were related to my husband) that my success was the same before and after surgery. But if your fertility was part of the issue, it's reasonable to hope that weight loss could improve your fertility and that you'll have a better outcome this time. Just stay positive and don't drive yourself nuts testing too early! I'm due in just over four weeks. Hopefully you'll have a success on your early attempts and have this experience for yourself soon. Good luck and keep us posted! ~Cheri

It happened to me, too. Naturally, it happened in a size that I had purchased ahead of time, so I wound up giving away never worn clothes when I flew past. I skipped the 12s entirely and only spent a few weeks in 9/10s...I pretty much went from a 14 to an 8 even without losing a significant amount of weight between sizes. It's one reason I always caution people against buying clothing ahead of time based upon where they think they'll be size-wise. ~Cheri

Great update, Lara, and congrats on your success! I think a lot of where you're at (even considering a new baby) is pretty close to where I was at two years post op. In fact, just about ten days before my two year anniversary my husband and I opted to use the rest of our frozen embryos to have another little one (she's due in a few weeks now) so best of luck to you two on the fertility frontier. I still get nagged about my plate not being empty but I ignore it all. I also watch bread and rice (and Pasta, and tortillas) because they do tend to swell on me and cause discomfort all of a sudden. And I can't possibly drink after I eat, even when I want to, because it makes me terribly uncomfortable. And yes, even at more than two years out, I sometimes forget that I can't do those things. Congrats - you have so many positive things in your life right now and so many reasons to be happy with your choice to be sleeved. Enjoy it, you've earned this! ~Cheri

Good luck and hang in there. I had two serious bouts of bleeding in the first trimester. One was heavy like a period (with clots) and my husband and I were very upset and sure it was over and we were going to lose the baby. In our case, it resolved and we've had no issues since. I'm now 35 weeks and can't wait to meet our little girl. So try to stay positive. I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. Try to stay as calm and positive as you can about the pregnancy. I'm sure they told you at the ER that there isn't much they can do (that's why my doc told me, anyway) because that early on they can't really stop a miscarriage. But do keep your eyes out and do try to take it as easy as you can. My OB told me that pretty much, even going onto bedrest won't change the outcome if the baby isn't going to make it, but he did say to avoid sex for a short time if I saw bleeding or felt discomfort and to try to relax as much as possible. Best of luck to you. This is definitely an emotional time for you but your best bet is to stay as calm and collected as possible, and just try to stay positive that everything will be okay. ~Cheri

Oh, the 2ww is insane, no matter what treatment you had! Hugs, and try to just relax and stay positive. We skipped right ahead from TTC for four years to IVF w/ICSI once they finally diagnosed our issues (severe MF infertility). We did one round of IVF w/ICSI before I had my VSG that resulted in our b/g twins - now five. We froze five eight cells and did a frozen embryo transfer in July that resulted in our single pregnancy this time around. I can't say the weight loss did anything as far as my comfort or ease getting pregnant, though I know that they say fertility increases and pregnancy is easier when we're smaller. I got pregnant at over 200 pounds with twins and didn't have any serious complications or concerns. I got pregnant this time at 139 pounds. But I am definitely pregnant via fertility treatments after VSG and it did work on the first attempt again. Good luck and again, try to stay positive. It's easy to make yourself crazy while you're waiting to test. Read as many success stories as you can and hang in there. ~Cheri

Yeah, this feeling lasted until I had been at goal for a while. I think it's pretty normal. The frustrating thing (for me) was getting used to people treating me differently when I felt pretty much the same. ~Cheri

Congrats! You'll do just great, I'm sure. You already had a really moderate and healthy approach to diet, and that helped me transition into pregnancy pretty well, too. The only thing is that it takes SOOOO long from finding out the great news to actually welcoming the baby! Nine months is far too long to be pregnant, in my opinion. ~Cheri

...clearly this is still an issue. Bumping to help the folks that don't seem to have this information prior to surgery. ~Cheri Who are these surgeons that operate and don't bother to warn their patients about this common issue?

You do not know the difference between acid and hunger. A stomach grumbles because the acid bubbles up in the empty space. When you have an excess of acid in a tiny sleeve, the SAME thing happens. It triggers the "I'm hungry and must eat" response that we learn early in life. So the first thing is ALWAYS to either check that your PPI is working (we see a lot of folks on Prevacid need to change to something else) or to start on one if you aren't on it. From there, fiddle with your diet. If you're on purees, you shouldn't be feeling hunger. It's common to suffer head hunger and acid problems in liquids, but not once you're on actual food. ~Cheri

Being healthy in the long run means being able to treat food like a person that never had a weight problem or an emotional relationship with food. The most important thing you can do for yourself is approach your long term goals that way. Sounds like you're on the right track, and it's the little accomplishments that mean a lot. Every now and again I'll feel like I've completely overdone it, but the reality is that I haven't...it's just such an odd occurrence these days for me to indulge and snack that it seems over the top, even when it's firmly within my daily limits. You're doing great - keep up the good work, ~Cheri

I'm not here to lecture, but just because it can take, doesn't mean it should. You're early out and while I fully encourage a moderate approach to diet in the latter part of the loss phase and in maintenance, be careful not to build up bad habits right now that are hard to shake later. You're so early out that you can eat just about anything and see a drop on the scale, but in a few months it won't be so simple. Lecture aside, you're lucky you could handle that type of food...or perhaps unlucky. Because being able to tolerate the junky stuff means the biggest burden of choosing healthier options lies on your willpower alone. If you're within your daily calorie limits for the day and making mostly good choices you should be fine. Fibrous veggies and any types of greens or lettuce are notorious for causing issues for a long while post op. Some people never experience this but many do. I still cannot eat iceberg, it causes discomfort and digestive problems every time. I can eat any other greens and any other vegetable I'd like, though. It just took about nine months to get there. And why do I feel like I'm stalking BTB around the forums today? Seriously, every time I go to post somewhere, he was there first. ~Cheri

I was about to chime in and say the same thing, but BTB beat me to it. Yep, those shots are a waste of your time and your money. Investing the time and energy into finding a Protein shake you like and want to drink is worth it because the protein will help you in the long haul. It's HARD to get enough protein in on diet alone, and it's worse if you're hitting the gym to get fit at the same time and need even more. There are hundreds of options out there - don't quit just because you've tried one or two things made one or two ways and didn't like them. Good luck, ~Cheri

I had a few pieces from Hips and Curves a while back. I will say that in my experience quality varied drastically from piece to piece, but overall it was just nice to have pretty lingerie in my size. In plus, I really loved the selection at Secrets in Lace. Now that I'm at goal my favorite items came from What Katie Did. The prices reflect it, but they sell very high quality shapewear/lingerie in retro styles that feel great and look ridiculously flattering. I also like the shapewear from Rago. I splurged on a custom corset and skirt for a ball (from a different place) in 2011 and that was worth every penny. I now buy fewer pieces of lingerie but they're very nice quality pieces that I'll enjoy for years to come. Of course, when you love to shop pinupgirlclothing.com you have a greater appreciation for the classically styled undergarments. ~Cheri

Yep, I'd agree that you're an ideal sleeve candidate based on stats alone. The RNY will certainly work for you, too, but it might be more surgery than you need, and yes, there's the lifelong issue of Vitamin malabsorption to consider. I'm 5'1" (and a little extra) and was 242 on surgery day. That's a BMI of 45.7 and pretty similar to your starting BMI. Whatever you decide, good luck! ~Cheri

Lady, I am WITH you on this. I had a big loss exactly TWO months out of the seventeen it took me to get to goal. I never experienced the "honeymoon" either. But I did lose more in the first six months and it slowed down again after one year. And I completely agree with aligning expectations with reality. We all read it and we've all heard it and it's a completely tired line but the sleeve is NOT A MAGIC WAND. It's a tool, and one we have to utilize properly for long term maintenance. I'd also add that I think the idea of a honeymoon period is bad for some people because they'll pretty much lose weight no matter how awful their food choices immediately post op. They then think that they can eat whatever they like, just in smaller portions, and get to goal (and stay there for-ev-er) but they inevitably wind up horribly disappointed when their stomachs heal and they find that they can still graze an entire bag of Oreos in a day and they aren't going to lose weight doing it! In any case, I think the more people stumble across this PRIOR to surgery the better. ~Cheri