Nurse_B

All good points!! It's always interesting to see how relationship dynamics change as a big lifestyle change happens.

I am wondering from people who have had the surgery and have found a partner after losing weight, did you tell your partner you had surgery and once were heavy? For those of you who have told, did it make a difference to your partner? I am just curious to see if the dynamic of "I was once heavy" is put out there, if people are scared you will gain weight again? It's very shallow, but I am sure this happens at times. Interested to hear what you have to say!

I started out only telling my immediate family. Slowly I told close friends, and then some co-workers. I will tell no one else, simply because I don't want their opinions on my decision. I'm sure people will speculate once I start losing, but they can guess all they want. I've had only one person react negatively, and that was a close friend. She thought I was taking the easy way out. I explained to her how painful and tough this is for me, I first felt like I was a failure and embarrassed for doing the surgery. Now, in large part to this site, I feel empowered and in charge of my health for the first time. I'm proud I can admit when I need help from others and am willing to do the hard work. Long story short, those who matter to you should support and uplift you, everyone else doesn't matter. This decision is so personal, you have every right to tell or not. Good luck to you, and congratulations for putting your health as a priority in your life!

This is great. Things I won't miss: 1. Running into people when I visit my parents I can hear the "wow she got big" comment already. 2. Being told I have a good personality, sense of humor..."you would be a catch if..." 3. Carrying a bag from a store for bigger people and hearing the snickering 4. Have people try to explain what someone looks like by comparing them to my weight, "she is bigger, like you" 5. Not being able to wear boots because of my calfs 6. Worrying about fitting in a booth, chair, turn style etc. 7. Not being in pictures 8. Not going out on the weekends 9. Having to settle for clothes I don't like because its all that fit 10. Feeling unworthy because of my size

Yes, it is very difficult to make such big changes! I live in Madison, WI. How about you?

Great question, I can't wait to see the answers!!

Hello! I have also just completed my first class, as well as some pre-op appointments. I am very up and down with my feelings lately. Most of the time I am super excited, as well as anxious and nervous, and then there are days that I second guess myself. I know this is my best option to getting healthy and making changes that NEED to be made. It's nice to be able to talk to people at the same stage I am, who are also anxious. Good luck to you!!

Hello, I am single, but your story touched me. I can't imagine working towards this goal, with your partner by your side and then BOOM. I don't know how that would feel, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I hope you are able to rise from this stronger, and with an outlook of taking care of yourself first. Best wishes to you, I hope you again find happiness.

Hello! I know we are all having surgery to be healthy and to improve our daily living. BUT, is there one person, who you can't wait to show the new you when you lose the weight? A person who made your life miserable because they teased you, or someone who would be super excited for you? I would have to say, I can't wait to show a former best friend. I wasn't asked to be in her wedding because of my size, and she mentioned to others how "big" I had gotten. I am excited for her to see all of my hard work, even if she doesn't feel bad about what she did/said. Any of you have that one person you can't wait to show?

I do the EXACT same thing. Music is a great motivator for me, and currently my theme song which empowers me is Katy Perry's Roar.

I have not been sleeved yet, but I am in the process of getting a date. I will be self pay and will pay $19,000 when it's all done. That includes all pre-op appointments, the surgery, hospital stay, follow up appointments for a year, and insurance for 90 days after surgery. I see what insurances are charged when they have to foot the bill, and my amount is extremely cheap compared to that.

Hello! I haven't posted on here in awhile. I have been a busy little bee lately. Went in for my Physical Therapy and Nutrition meetings. Also had my EKG, Chest x-ray, pulmonary function testing, and labs done. Good news, I am only deficient in Vitamin B 12 at this time, so I can keep going with my vitamin and now B-12. Only thing left to do is my Psych Eval. I don't know why, but I feel very anxious about it. I know my reasons for getting the surgery, and why I know this is going to be a success for me, but I almost feel like I have to convince the doctor I am worthy of his stamp of approval! I have ready many reasons for others not passing their Psych exams, and I just hope I am in a place where he feels I can go ahead with surgery. I have come too far to get stopped now! How was your experience with your Psych eval? Was it a good experience, or bad? Was there anything you wished you would have said/done differently?

So many things I want to do!! 1. Walk into a store and buy something, in a regular size...OFF THE RACK. 2. Wear cute fall knee high boots (my calves are a little thick at the moment!) 3. Fit into chairs with arm rests comfortably 4. Get hit on, because I'm wearing a cute sexy outfit!! 5. Not have to pay extra for XXL sizes 6. Run up and down a basketball court and not feel like I'm going to die

Hello! I am at UW! You?

Hello! I'm 27 and in the same stage of the process as you are. Can't wait to hear how your journey goes!

Hello! I'm new to the forum, in the consultation phase. Anyone from Wisconsin or specifically Madison?

I have been researching a few places around me and found a center of excellence in Milwaukee. I called today for more information. They have a self pay package with insurance post operation. They quoted $10,000 less than the original surgeon I went to see. In two weeks I'm going to the seminar and a consult visit with the surgeon. I'm feeling a little more hopeful this will happen sooner than later!!

When I went in yesterday, the nurse said she had been working there for 3 years, and they had been trying to work in a self payment plan since she had been there. The surgeon said it had been a slow process but they had meetings later in the week with the insurance company and were hoping for good news to get the self pay package going. He couldn't give me a time frame. They did say there were 20 people on a waiting list for the sleeve.

Thank you to both of you for your kind words. I really liked the surgeon I met with, I just don't want to wait much longer for surgery. There is a place not too far from me that I could look into. I just don't want to rush a decision to get it and do it at the wrong place just to do it. The books are a great idea, I will look into that!

Hello Everyone, I just joined today, after plans to have the lap band. I had my first surgical appointment yesterday, and was told they barely do the lap band anymore, they take out more than they put in, and complications are a major problem. My surgeon suggested the sleeve as my best option for weight loss surgery. After a detailed conversation, I felt ready to proceed. I had looked at both lap band and sleeve information when researching weight loss surgery. I will be self pay, which raises another problem. The place I went yesterday, currently doesn't have any self pay packages, because they are in the process of getting insurance backing for self pay patients. So now it's a hurry up and wait game. I am mentally prepared for weight loss surgery, and would like it done sooner than later. I look forward to learning from all of you and reading your inspiring stories. Thanks for listening...well reading Bonnie

Haha DetChatt that's funny!! I am anxious to see after the surgery who gives me a hard time and who supports me. I have a lot of aquaintances who see me very irregularly, some of who are opinionated. It will be interesting!

srussell8 thank you for sharing your story. I feel for you, it's hard to make changes for the better and get on a different path, especially knowing that some will not be joining you on it. I know in life there are times we move on and grow apart, it's just sad when it's over a change that is necessary for us to become healthy. I truly hope my friend understands once the surgery is over. Ever since I posted on here, I have tried to be firm with her in telling her this is my decision and I understand your concern but her support is needed more. She says she understands, yet scrutinizes my food choices, and exercise habits. She says she is concerned because I have failed so many times and given up, what makes this different? When I explain why it's different and why this is GOING to work because failure isn't a choice here, she shrugs me off like she doesn't believe me. We have been on a cool down for a few days, and frankly I just don't discuss this with her if she brings it up. My hope is that she has a more understanding outlook once the surgery takes place. If not, I have to be willing to walk away from things that are only holding me back in a unhealthy lifestyle. It's sad, but this is going to happen whether she is there or not. I am just very thankful my parents, siblings, and co workers are being supportive at this point. I hope for you one day when she sees the light she reaches out to you to help her in her journey. It's a very sad feeling to be cut off from someone who once meant so much to you.

First, it was a great idea to come on this website to gather information and find support. I'm actually quite surprised your physician/surgeon suggested this surgery. I have no idea how much you need to lose or your health issues, but the reason I'm surprised is because of the emotional and psychological part of it. I'm not saying you are immature or not ready, but in general I know in healthcare we tend to try supervised weight loss, nutrition and therapy until you are a tad older. The biggest concern is that you wouldn't be in a place where you can optimally be ready for a lifestyle change so permanent and different from your peers. This age is hard to stand out on your own because you are so closely influenced by your peers. My hope for you is that I'm totally wrong about this and you are mentally and psychologically prepared. Good luck to you and ask any questions or for support on here if you need it, these people are wonderful.

I have a funny story when I got my gallbladder out. My nursing instructor at the time was an OR nurse. She was talking to us about anesthesia and said that in her OR when a patient took very little to get knocked out they would call them a cheap date. When I woke up in the recovery unit, I asked the nurse if I was a cheap date. I don't remember doing it, but the OR staff got a good giggle out of me knowing what that was!