carol1951

I'm beginning to think I need professional help with my eating. I can't seem to stop myself from eating all the wrong things. I know I'm eating way to much. They want me to eat only 1 cup at a time, but that just doesn't fill me up. Then there is the times I know I'm not hungry, but I just feel the need to eat something. Sometimes I crave sweets and sometimes it something salty. I try to reason with myself, but doesn't always work. I try to decide if something is on my mind and most of the time there really isn't anything. I know sometimes I'm just bored, so I try to find something else to do. I just have to get this under control.

I'm beginning to think I need professional help with my eating. I can't seem to stop myself from eating all the wrong things. I know I'm eating way to much. They want me to eat only 1 cup at a time, but that just doesn't fill me up. Then there is the times I know I'm not hungry, but I just feel the need to eat something. Sometimes I crave sweets and sometimes it something salty. I try to reason with myself, but doesn't always work. I try to decide if something is on my mind and most of the time there really isn't anything. I know sometimes I'm just bored, so I try to find something else to do. I just have to get this under control.

I have 4.2 cc in my 4cc band and still haven't hit my sweet spot. Just a little discouraged.

Well yesterday they added another .3cc to my band, now at a total of 4.2 in my 4.0 band. I don't know if this time will do the trick or not. I did liquids yesterday and was find, and today I have ate oatmeal for breakfast and rice pudding for lunch. I feel full, but not I still don't feel a lot of restriction. They are going to do another barium swallow next month see if everything is ok. I still wonder if I have a leak somewhere. Because I feel some restriction right after I get a fill then in a couple of week nothing. They want me to only eat 1 cup at a time and see what happens. I really can eat more, but they think that I could be backing up in my esphogus. The last barium swallow showed no stretching and I did that one in December. I know my luck is I problem have a leak. I don't have very good luck at anything. Oh well I will see how it goes in the next few days. I really think I might go back to weight watchers for awhile and see if I can lose a few lbs that way. I really have to get this weight off my aching joints. So I have to do more in choosing the right foods. I still fight myself. I still have that big hole that I can't fill.

Well yesterday they added another .3cc to my band, now at a total of 4.2 in my 4.0 band. I don't know if this time will do the trick or not. I did liquids yesterday and was find, and today I have ate oatmeal for breakfast and rice pudding for lunch. I feel full, but not I still don't feel a lot of restriction. They are going to do another barium swallow next month see if everything is ok. I still wonder if I have a leak somewhere. Because I feel some restriction right after I get a fill then in a couple of week nothing. They want me to only eat 1 cup at a time and see what happens. I really can eat more, but they think that I could be backing up in my esphogus. The last barium swallow showed no stretching and I did that one in December. I know my luck is I problem have a leak. I don't have very good luck at anything. Oh well I will see how it goes in the next few days. I really think I might go back to weight watchers for awhile and see if I can lose a few lbs that way. I really have to get this weight off my aching joints. So I have to do more in choosing the right foods. I still fight myself. I still have that big hole that I can't fill.

Got back from our vacation and guess what I gained about 7 lbs while gone. Its really my fault. I just can't seem to not eat. I'm so tired of trying and trying, but I'm so hungry most of the time. I go for a fill tomorrow, I think I will have them see how much is really in there. They said I have 3.9 cc in my band, I just wonder if there really is that much or maybe I have leak. I feel like I have restriction for a few days after a fill then it seems as if I can eat anything Iwant to eat. I really don't have much restriction. I can eat just about everything. I even ate some bread while we were gone. Thats a first since last March. I have to be really careful and eat is slow and chew chew chew. I've thought about have gastric bypass, but I want to give this another chance. I guess I really thought this would be easier than it is. I really thought that I would not be hungry. It dosn't take away the hole that I keep trying to fill with food. I guess I need to work on that and figure out why I'm so hungry or think I'm hungry. Sometimes I so discourged that I just don't know what to do. Well we will see what the have to say tomorrow.

Got back from our vacation and guess what I gained about 7 lbs while gone. Its really my fault. I just can't seem to not eat. I'm so tired of trying and trying, but I'm so hungry most of the time. I go for a fill tomorrow, I think I will have them see how much is really in there. They said I have 3.9 cc in my band, I just wonder if there really is that much or maybe I have leak. I feel like I have restriction for a few days after a fill then it seems as if I can eat anything Iwant to eat. I really don't have much restriction. I can eat just about everything. I even ate some bread while we were gone. Thats a first since last March. I have to be really careful and eat is slow and chew chew chew. I've thought about have gastric bypass, but I want to give this another chance. I guess I really thought this would be easier than it is. I really thought that I would not be hungry. It dosn't take away the hole that I keep trying to fill with food. I guess I need to work on that and figure out why I'm so hungry or think I'm hungry. Sometimes I so discourged that I just don't know what to do. Well we will see what the have to say tomorrow.

Leaving in 2 days, wish I was more excited about it. I really dread the drive. I will be long, driving from Missouri to Florida. I don't know why I dread the vacation, I know I will have a good time once I'm there. I don't know why I'm this way, but this is the way I always feel before we go somewhere. I worry about the house, cats, and of course my children and grandchildren. I just love being home. I don't every go anywhere except the to store and church. I really need to get involved in something else. I need to make more friends. I don't even go scrapbook anymore. I gave up the stamp club also. It worrys me that my husband is the same way. He never wants go anywhere, of course I blame myself for being so fat. He problem doesn't want to be seen with someone so big. At least he will go on vacation of course no one will know us. Oh well, just have fun. Diet is going better, except today I could eat a horse if it were in front of me. I just have to keep busy and drink my water. I know I can do this. It is just going to take time. Everyday is a new day and a new beginning.

Leaving in 2 days, wish I was more excited about it. I really dread the drive. I will be long, driving from Missouri to Florida. I don't know why I dread the vacation, I know I will have a good time once I'm there. I don't know why I'm this way, but this is the way I always feel before we go somewhere. I worry about the house, cats, and of course my children and grandchildren. I just love being home. I don't every go anywhere except the to store and church. I really need to get involved in something else. I need to make more friends. I don't even go scrapbook anymore. I gave up the stamp club also. It worrys me that my husband is the same way. He never wants go anywhere, of course I blame myself for being so fat. He problem doesn't want to be seen with someone so big. At least he will go on vacation of course no one will know us. Oh well, just have fun. Diet is going better, except today I could eat a horse if it were in front of me. I just have to keep busy and drink my water. I know I can do this. It is just going to take time. Everyday is a new day and a new beginning.

Went to the doctor on Tuesday and we decide not to do a fill for this month, as I do have some restriction and I'm leaving on vacation next week. Will be gone for two weeks and then I will go back on the 12th and see how I'm doing. Not losing but not gaining either. If I could jusl lose this sweet tooth that I have. I really crave sweets. I do pretty good with everything else. Just can't seem to leave them alone. I don't buy cookies any more, now I need not to make them anymore. I will send the rest of what I made on Tuesday home with my granddaughter today. I'm really trying hard to get all my water in and eating the right things. I wish my husband was more in to eating right. I wish he would eat more salad and stuff. He usually wants just meat and potatoes. Oh well I can't use him for an excuse. He eats pretty much what I put on the table. Oh well today is going ok will do much better tomorrow. My ped account this past week was pretty good for me. Everyday I made it over 2,000 steps each day. Now my next goal is to increase my steps by at least 100 to 200 more steps each day. I walk in plase some times just to get some steps in. Life isn't always fair.

Went to the doctor on Tuesday and we decide not to do a fill for this month, as I do have some restriction and I'm leaving on vacation next week. Will be gone for two weeks and then I will go back on the 12th and see how I'm doing. Not losing but not gaining either. If I could jusl lose this sweet tooth that I have. I really crave sweets. I do pretty good with everything else. Just can't seem to leave them alone. I don't buy cookies any more, now I need not to make them anymore. I will send the rest of what I made on Tuesday home with my granddaughter today. I'm really trying hard to get all my water in and eating the right things. I wish my husband was more in to eating right. I wish he would eat more salad and stuff. He usually wants just meat and potatoes. Oh well I can't use him for an excuse. He eats pretty much what I put on the table. Oh well today is going ok will do much better tomorrow. My ped account this past week was pretty good for me. Everyday I made it over 2,000 steps each day. Now my next goal is to increase my steps by at least 100 to 200 more steps each day. I walk in plase some times just to get some steps in. Life isn't always fair.

I'm not losing, but it is my own fault. I need to make better choices, I know I've been saying that for months. I know what I need to do, but I just don't make the correct choices. I start everyday thinking today will be the day that I will make the great change that I need to make. Then about half way through the day I make the choice to eat something I shouldn't or I choose to eat to much. I'm still really disappointed that I can eat to much. I still eating about 2 cups at a time or more. My pouch is not stretched out they checked it last month when I was in for a fill. I guess I will have them remove all the liquid from my band and see if it really has 3.9 cc of liquid in it. It seem like I have some restrcition for a few days, then I'm back to where I was. If it has a leak I wonder what they will do. I wonder if you have to have it replaced. Right now I'm so discourged that I don't know if I would have it removed and a new on placed. I know I have lost 30 lbs and I have kept it off for the most part. I think the largest amount I have lost is 35 lbs, but I did gain some it back. Oh well, guess I will get up and go do my shopping and do some extra rounds around the walmart so I will have some excersise today. Its so cold outside that I haven't been doing anything. Again thats a excuse, and I need to just do it. I just have to fight all my negative thoughts. My primary doctor was pleased with my labs yesterday. Ha1c was 5.9 which is really good. My cholesterol was really good 122. So there is some medical good news. I really wanted to lose some more before we leave for vacation. We leave in 2 weeks, so I guess I will not be any smaller than I was 6 or 7 months ago. I haven't lost since last June. I'm just so disappointed. I really thought I would not be hungry and I would not be able to eat very much, so far wrong on both accounts. I think I though if I wasn't hungry and couldn't eat very much I would lose and the rest of what I had to do would just fall in place. It was just a dream that I could do this.

I'm not losing, but it is my own fault. I need to make better choices, I know I've been saying that for months. I know what I need to do, but I just don't make the correct choices. I start everyday thinking today will be the day that I will make the great change that I need to make. Then about half way through the day I make the choice to eat something I shouldn't or I choose to eat to much. I'm still really disappointed that I can eat to much. I still eating about 2 cups at a time or more. My pouch is not stretched out they checked it last month when I was in for a fill. I guess I will have them remove all the liquid from my band and see if it really has 3.9 cc of liquid in it. It seem like I have some restrcition for a few days, then I'm back to where I was. If it has a leak I wonder what they will do. I wonder if you have to have it replaced. Right now I'm so discourged that I don't know if I would have it removed and a new on placed. I know I have lost 30 lbs and I have kept it off for the most part. I think the largest amount I have lost is 35 lbs, but I did gain some it back. Oh well, guess I will get up and go do my shopping and do some extra rounds around the walmart so I will have some excersise today. Its so cold outside that I haven't been doing anything. Again thats a excuse, and I need to just do it. I just have to fight all my negative thoughts. My primary doctor was pleased with my labs yesterday. Ha1c was 5.9 which is really good. My cholesterol was really good 122. So there is some medical good news. I really wanted to lose some more before we leave for vacation. We leave in 2 weeks, so I guess I will not be any smaller than I was 6 or 7 months ago. I haven't lost since last June. I'm just so disappointed. I really thought I would not be hungry and I would not be able to eat very much, so far wrong on both accounts. I think I though if I wasn't hungry and couldn't eat very much I would lose and the rest of what I had to do would just fall in place. It was just a dream that I could do this.

Well its been awhile since I've been here on the site. I did a lot of cooking for the holiday and it tells. I have gained about 7 lbs and now I'm on the way down again. I have lost 2 of the 7 lbs. I now have to commit to a new life style and excersise program. I have thought a lot about what I really want and it is to lose at least 50 lbs this year. That's a pound a week. Thats not a lot but over few years that will add up to a lot. I have to have a mental change as well a physical change. I know that I have been way to inactive to lose very much so my commit to excersise has to start with me changing my mind set. I did do a little yesterday. I do wear a pedometer. Yesterday I took only 1995 steps. My new commit is to take at least 2000 steps a day for the next week. I know thats not a lot for an active person, but I'm not active at all. So maybe next week I will commit to additional steps and so on till I get up to 10,000 steps a day by years end or before. This is my promise to myself. I will be more postive this year also and not so down all the time. Now I have to have a mental change as far as food goes. I have to stop doing what is easy. I really do that a lot. I will grab something because I wait to long to eat and then I will go for anything that's not nailed down. I have to do more planning and I need to start with what I will do on a weekly bases. I will do this starting right now. I know that I can't eat a bowl of cereal and be full. I need to fix a bowl of oatmeal and then have a protien shake to sip on for a couple of hours and I will be happier. I have to make changes that I really never wanted to make, but I know that I can do it. I know that is the first of the new year and I will not forget this promises to myself. I don't go back to the doctor again till the 16th. I will try of lose all that I have gained over the holiday. Then we have to talk about if this band has a leak. I do really good for a few days after getting a fill then I'm back to being able to eat anything I want and in almost any amount. Last time I was there the did a swallowing eval and I had not stretch out my pouch. May need to have them take all the water out and see how much is there. I will do this.

Well its been awhile since I've been here on the site. I did a lot of cooking for the holiday and it tells. I have gained about 7 lbs and now I'm on the way down again. I have lost 2 of the 7 lbs. I now have to commit to a new life style and excersise program. I have thought a lot about what I really want and it is to lose at least 50 lbs this year. That's a pound a week. Thats not a lot but over few years that will add up to a lot. I have to have a mental change as well a physical change. I know that I have been way to inactive to lose very much so my commit to excersise has to start with me changing my mind set. I did do a little yesterday. I do wear a pedometer. Yesterday I took only 1995 steps. My new commit is to take at least 2000 steps a day for the next week. I know thats not a lot for an active person, but I'm not active at all. So maybe next week I will commit to additional steps and so on till I get up to 10,000 steps a day by years end or before. This is my promise to myself. I will be more postive this year also and not so down all the time. Now I have to have a mental change as far as food goes. I have to stop doing what is easy. I really do that a lot. I will grab something because I wait to long to eat and then I will go for anything that's not nailed down. I have to do more planning and I need to start with what I will do on a weekly bases. I will do this starting right now. I know that I can't eat a bowl of cereal and be full. I need to fix a bowl of oatmeal and then have a protien shake to sip on for a couple of hours and I will be happier. I have to make changes that I really never wanted to make, but I know that I can do it. I know that is the first of the new year and I will not forget this promises to myself. I don't go back to the doctor again till the 16th. I will try of lose all that I have gained over the holiday. Then we have to talk about if this band has a leak. I do really good for a few days after getting a fill then I'm back to being able to eat anything I want and in almost any amount. Last time I was there the did a swallowing eval and I had not stretch out my pouch. May need to have them take all the water out and see how much is there. I will do this.

I'm really feeling better about the band right now then I have in the past few months. I have more restriction then I every have and it feels so good. I'm not hungry right now and its a wonderful feeling. Now if I can just kick in the excerise I think the weight would just about fall off. I have to get more activity going. The ice if falling off the trees today, and the sun is shining. I love sunshine. The talk is more snow tomorrow night and Saturday, I really hope they are wrong. I need sunshine to function at a good pace. I took my sister to airport this morning and I wish I was going with her to Hawaii. Oh well I will deal with what I have and count my blessing.

I'm really feeling better about the band right now then I have in the past few months. I have more restriction then I every have and it feels so good. I'm not hungry right now and its a wonderful feeling. Now if I can just kick in the excerise I think the weight would just about fall off. I have to get more activity going. The ice if falling off the trees today, and the sun is shining. I love sunshine. The talk is more snow tomorrow night and Saturday, I really hope they are wrong. I need sunshine to function at a good pace. I took my sister to airport this morning and I wish I was going with her to Hawaii. Oh well I will deal with what I have and count my blessing.

When we have no fill we don't fill full, so we eat. That's the reason we got the band in the 1st place. So don't be so hard on yourself. I think we need that full feeling. I think the full feeling makes us feel secure or least it does for me. I guess I have always been trying to fill the space within me, and the band gives me that feeling. You will do fine. Stay postive.

Its been a week since my last fill and I think I have some restriction. I really can't eat as much as a week ago, but still not down to 1/2 cup. I really have to slow down and much smaller bites. I went last night with my sister to eat at Outback and I ate all my salad and most of the 7 oz. steak and some of the sweet potatoe. I seem to be much tighter in the AM than in the PM. I don't know if I need to get more fill or not. I will stay like this for a few week then see what happens. I finely got the tree done and most of the boxes back downstairs. I was about to lose my mind with all the mess. I guess I need to get my small amount of shopping done. I really want to do baking next week for family and freinds. I want to get the cookie trays out to people by the end of next week. I still think its a little early to start any baking. I don't want that temptation around that long. I hope I see some weight loss soon. I really would like to lose some before our vacation to Florida in January. We don't leave till the end of the month so maybe I can get some more off. Its so discourging see other losing with such a small fill. I can't believe how different we all are with fills. Why am I at 3.9 and other are happy with 1.5 or less. Oh well, I must not dwell on that I know it will work in its own time. I know I will do this. I will make better choices and will do this. I will be much health in the months to come from the effort I put out now. I will do this. I will do this. Nothing is going to keep me from doing this. I have to stay strong when all hell is breaking lose around me. I will not let other temp me. I will make the better choice. I will try to keep negative thought from over coming my better choices.

Its been a week since my last fill and I think I have some restriction. I really can't eat as much as a week ago, but still not down to 1/2 cup. I really have to slow down and much smaller bites. I went last night with my sister to eat at Outback and I ate all my salad and most of the 7 oz. steak and some of the sweet potatoe. I seem to be much tighter in the AM than in the PM. I don't know if I need to get more fill or not. I will stay like this for a few week then see what happens. I finely got the tree done and most of the boxes back downstairs. I was about to lose my mind with all the mess. I guess I need to get my small amount of shopping done. I really want to do baking next week for family and freinds. I want to get the cookie trays out to people by the end of next week. I still think its a little early to start any baking. I don't want that temptation around that long. I hope I see some weight loss soon. I really would like to lose some before our vacation to Florida in January. We don't leave till the end of the month so maybe I can get some more off. Its so discourging see other losing with such a small fill. I can't believe how different we all are with fills. Why am I at 3.9 and other are happy with 1.5 or less. Oh well, I must not dwell on that I know it will work in its own time. I know I will do this. I will make better choices and will do this. I will be much health in the months to come from the effort I put out now. I will do this. I will do this. Nothing is going to keep me from doing this. I have to stay strong when all hell is breaking lose around me. I will not let other temp me. I will make the better choice. I will try to keep negative thought from over coming my better choices.

I had another fill yesterday and I'm up to 3.9. I did ask how can you put in a 4cc band. She said just about as much as we want. I'm hoping for some restriction this time. I have had very little, so we will see. I had gain this time also.

Marilyn, I don't want anyone of us to feel alone. That is what this thread is all about. I have only lost 35 lbs since March and gained back 5lb. The doctor did a barium swallow to see if everything was ok and it is. They think I just don't have enough fill. So the gave me another .2cc yesterday, will see. Yes I get very discourged and wonder if I did the right thing in getting the band. But I know if I hadn't gotten the band I would be even heavier than I am right now. I also understand the feeling of being a loser, with every watching and asking "how much have you lost". So this thread is a great place to express thoses feeling, and no one is going to judge anyone.

Your right this whole thing is a learning process. Everyday I learn something, I don't alway do what I learn. I know that I need to excersise more, but I choose not to. I know the band can't do it all, but I want it to. Yes your are right, we make the choices and the choices make us.

I feel your pain. I haven't lost anything in months and have gain a few lbs. I saw my doctor today and go another fill and I'm now at 3.9. I really hoping this will do the trick. I need to keep better track of my carb which I know I get to much. I have had very little restriction. So maybe you need to get a fill and see if that would jump start you weight lost again. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. We are here for you.

Well I'm back from the doctors and I had gained 4 lbs. I told her that I don't always make the must choices. I can't eat bread and have to be careful with chicken and beef. I can eat to fast and need really chew my food. She told me she wanted to do a barium swallow to make sure the pounch and my esphougus was not stretched. So the swallow test turn out fine. So she put in 1cc and the had me drink water and started pulling out fluid till if felt the water do down. So ended up with another .2cc in my band. I now have 3.9cc in band. Will see if this makes a differance. I have been able to eat just about anything I want. I have never be restricted to just a 1/2 cup of food. I hope this makes a differance this time. I would love to drop a few pounds I know I have to do my part and start working the band. I'm doing much better. I have not brought any cookies or candy in a long time. I'm trying to eat my protien first. I need to decrease my carbs. Well today is a new day and I'm having a protien shake right now. So far so good. I don't feel like I'm a tight. Well see what the rest of the week brings. Got to get busy I have a tree to decorate.