Nicci

I had a very sobering experience "shopping" today for a pair of khaki pants for work, which was futile! There was even a moment when I cried in the car, in between stores. It reaffirmed for me that having weight loss surgery is in my best interest. So many people are telling me not to do it but until they have unsuccessfully fought the battle of the bulge for years (in my case my entire life) they really shouldn't try to advise me on what I should and shouldn't do with my own body. They don't understand the heartbreak and anguish that shopping can bring when nothing fits...which is why when you do find something that fits you hang on to it and wear it until it's been worn thin and full of holes :-/ Soon I will no longer have this problem....and lord am I ever looking forward to that day! In the mean time I am wearing, god I can't believe I am openly admitting this, a size 28 pant (possibly even a 30 if such a thing exists). The largest size Wal-Mart carried was a size 26 which I just couldn't stuff myself in to, and believe me I tried!!! I was thinking it would be such a neat idea if we started a clothing exchange. As we lose weight we could send our "fat clothes" on to our pre-surgical members and as we drop the weight post surgical we could send them to our other members whom are a few months behind us (in terms of weight loss). Would any of you be interested in something like this?

hahaha! JMarshall :-) that was the perfect video clip for how I am feeling :-P I know there is still another 5-6 months ahead of me but it just became real when they set up the consult :-) _Babysteppin' I hope we can do this, I'm so flippin nervous.....my big hang up is "dont let me die, I dont wanna die needlessly" lol and I'm sure we all have that thought. Oh and please don't let me have any complications! However, on the other hand it is such a giddy feeling to think in 6months post-op I could go from 300lbs down to 150lbs :-) My kids are my inspiration for this, my 6y/o twins tell me all the time they dont want a fat mom and that they wish I wasnt fat, but my sweet little 3y/o tells me not to have the surgery that I am her mommy and she loves me just the way I am (she gives the best answers) :-)

Well I received the call for my first surgical consultation today, its scheduled for next Thursday. Suddenly s**** just got real for me :-) I'm excited and nervous all at the same time!

Chicago Bears Football will be hard to watch without the "junk food" but I'm confident Cutler will get me through it

I decided tonight that two foods I will truly miss post procedure are CHOCOLATE and chili dogs :-P How silly is that? I am addicted to chocolate though and am sad to know I must say goodbye to it. A healthier, thinner me is more important than that chocolaty yummy goodness. Oh dear sweet chocolate i will miss you so! :-P

I think my biggest fear of demise is leaving my 3 fairly small children behind (I have a set of 6y/o twins and a 3y/o daughter).

I mean anxiety on a daily basis, like diagnosed by a doc. Of course some level of anxiety is to be expected in anyone contemplating the surgery. I have read that people with depression of find their depression subsides once they had the surgery and lost the weight BUT I myself have diagnosed anxiety and I was curious if it could possibly get better after I have the surgery. My doc says I'm not the first person with anxiety to have this surgery and she's sure I wont be the last. I was just wanting to network with others in a situation like mine....hopefully someone who has already had the surgery and can tell me what their experience was like.

I was just wondering if anyone who has had the VSG suffered from anxiety prior to their decision to have surgery and if so did this improve after you had the surgery and lost some of the weight?

Wow you guys, you're both so very right. She will be jealous of me (without that even being a thought of mine) because I'm pretty as a thick chick so I can only imagine I would be model beautiful once the weight is gone lol I'm just kidding, but seriously I bet I enjoy looking in a mirror when everything is said and done. Telling someone you will pray for them can really get under their skin lol so thanks for the advice! I do just need to continue to focus on me and becoming the beautiful swan that's hiding in this duckling body. Honestly though it will never be my intention to make someone feel bad about their body once I transform in to my new one. When I say I'm doing this for me I'm not lying, there is no hidden agenda. I so desperately want to play with my children (more than sitting on my butt and talking for a barbie doll) and it would mean a lot to me if my current boyfriend of 6 years (and the father of my three children) could pick me up and carry me over the thresh hold on our wedding day (not that we have a date set or anything but some day I'm confident we will make that transition....assuming he doesn't leave me because I get too skinny for him, lol, thats a whole different topic he and I have often discussed. My ultimate goal is 125lbs since I'm only 5'3" but he claims if I get below 140lbs he'd leave me....which is just hilarious because he himself is lucky to be 140! LOL, wow I just noticed a pattern, I tend to go for chubby chasers, HA!), and I just had my 2nd reconstructive ankle surgery back in April and all this stress on my joints is horrible. If for no other reason than my ankle alone I NEED to get this weight off of me!

Just a quick after thought....Bryce, my ex, is attracted to heavy women so I mean really, lol, my having the surgery should help ease her mind! Not make her hate me or jealous in any way (btw she too is heavy so seriously not sure where she gets off being like this towards me but whatever. I'll just dust my shoulders off and stay my happy, bubbly, positive self).

Thank you ladies for reaffirming what I figured was already true, something is lacking in her life or shes just so full of hate that shes trying her best to spread it around. On the bright side I have my first appointment with the WLS surgeon on September 6th :-) I can hardly wait!

I have an ex-boyfriend that I have remained friends with for the last 8 years, and thats all we are...FRIENDS. Not too long ago (a couple weeks maybe) I informed him of my decision to get banded. Well apparently his baby momma (they have been together for 2 years now) recently got a hold of his phone and sent me a text that said "Lap band huh? Tired of being fat?" which he quickly apologized for and said that they were fighting and she grabbed his phone....basically a bunch of drama. I know I shouldn't let her get to me as my decision to get banded is for my own benefit/health and no one else's, but for some reason her words hurt me. I'm guessing she must feel threatened by the friendship he and I share but that (to me anyways) is no reason to be cruel. I guess I could understand if she had something to worry about but she doesn't. I don't even know why I'm posting this, other then I'm immensely hurt by her words. Oh well, I guess it's just the first of many jealousy things people will throw my way once they see my success after I'm banded.

Are you able to move around and sit up unassisted? I am not yet banded and am trying to learn everything I can about it. I have had my gallbladder removed via lap and I think I moved around just fine, although I was only 24 when that happened so youth was on my side. I'm now 30 and concerned about the discomfort

Thank you everyone for the information you shared. It sure seems like there are a lot more reasons to do this than there are to not! NWgirl- I really appreciate the link! I will be spending some serious time comparing statistics and making an informed decesion. Jean- I'm not certain what a duodenal switch is (perhaps going from band to RNY?), but as you mentioned with the pain meds I too knew someone years ago that had the bypass surgery and died from an overdose, unintentionally of course, of the pain meds. Maya- It sounds like you have an absolutely amazing care team behind you!!! Thats wonderful, I hope I am able to pick a clinic like that. So now I must ask you all, how do you choose your surgeon....I mean how many years should the surgeon have in experience for doing this type of surgery (in order for you all to personally feel confident)?

That is really sad :-( Does anyone know if she followed up as the ER had suggested in regards to her band?

Do you know of any one that has died from having a lap band? I'm trying to find cons to having it done but I'm mainly only seeing the pros to having this procedure. Like my reconstructive ankle surgery was more life threatening than this...crazy!!!

Thanks ladies, its nice to know im not the only one battling the panic/anxiety. I think i will seek a different doc because i have asked for xanax before and was told they dont perscribe it because it can be habit forming, i have ni history of substance abuse and truly would only take it when breathing excercises failed.

I am curious to know if anyone had suffered from anxiety/panic when they were overweight. If so did this change after you were banded? I have this incredibly stupid fear of letting my heart rate get elevated because I have had issues with panic attacks out of the blue and believed I was dying of a heart attack, upon professional follow up/care I learned my heart is totally healthy....but now I am slightly fearful to excercise because I don't want my heart to race. I have spoken with my psychologist about this and I receive another question as my answer; "Why do you suppose that is?" Which I'm sitting there thinking 'if I knew why do you really think I would be sitting here talking to you about it?!' I'm wondering if my fear of excercise (or any other activity that may raise my heart rate) will get better as I start to drop weight.

What are plications? I am just starting my journey at 30, weighing 322lbs, and am 5'3" tall and have vaginally birthed 3 children, which includes a set of twins. My childrens father, whom I have been with for nearly 7year now, is supportive of my decesion BUT I have come to believe he is a chubby chaser. The past few days I have been excited about my decesion for the lap band surgery and as a result of my excitment I've opened up to him about what my ultimate goals are with the surgery. He told me if I got below 140lbs he would leave me. I have to laugh because he himself is lucky to weigh that on a heavy day :-P