thenerd

I'm just looking forward to a feeling similar to about the 0:32 mark of this clip:
(Warning: content may be offensive to those who don't appreciate good old fashioned tasteless humor)

UPDATE:
I've gone back and forth with my insurance company. Talked to everyone from supervisors, to loss prevention and fraud report people. They will allow me to get my dentures from my new dentist! They are also starting an investigation into the other dentist for charging for work they didn't do. hopefully this will all be over soon.

I LUV thread hijackers! We should start a fast n furious section where a straight-man asks a question and we see how nuts we can go on it!!!
I actually think there was a great lot of adviCe in the humour: tasting tasty exterior of treats = great low-cal option + leftovers for unsuspecting others... I wonder if it would work with choc-coat peanuts as well as salted snacks!?

First of all, "advise" is a verb. I think you meant to use the word "advice". But I can charitably overlook your 4th grade spelling mistakes.
Second, who is mocking whom? I see no mocking here. I gave my advice, yes A-D-V-I-C-E, to the person who started this post about Doritos...what else do you want from us? Did you expect us to tell him, yes by all means, chow down on Doritos? In fact, I believe someone did!
Seriously, where do you get off judging us, and misjudging us for having a little witty fun? There are so many serious, and frankly depressing, discussions on here...why don't you go find one of those to unload your screed. And I'm embarrassed for you. You come on here and tell us we're being judgmental just because we were amused by the imagery of ALL our posts on here? Are you the president of People Against Fun? Concerned Women of America? Pearl Clutchers With Shocked Faces?
Damn, now I really should post the picture of my ass in chaps. Go lick your cheese puffs somewhere else.

Will it be the current you? The fatter you? Or the muscled up bad ass from the past you? And will Morgan Freeman be there? Will he be wearing assless chaps?
Driving Miss Daisy indeed....

It's a proven fact, licking crackers will satisfy your cravings, reduce your head hunger, tone up saggy skin, prevent hair from falling out, and make the whole world accept WLS and take us all into there bussom. What it won't do is get a visual of Gustavo wearing assless chaps out of my head. That's there forever.

Yes! A blog would be great!!!
Snark is like a second language for me, which might be why I appreciate you so much! It didn't make things very easy when I taught second grade but my high school students certainly seem to enjoy it!

OMG!!! Gustavo, you absolutely crack me up!!! I love reading your posts. Even the really insightful ones are so humorously written!

I just don't want to be a B cup anymore.

I'm so glad someone else thought of this too! Hahaha.
I don't do heights to well so rides and airplanes are kind of a meh goal for me. I do however want to be able to walk into to say a Target and be able to buy something that will fit. Or a GAP, oh that would be so much betterrrrr.
And I want a cute pea coat that doesn't make me LOOK like a pea!

Seriously? I inspire you? Wow! That's the best compliment I've gotten in a LONG time!
Now I really HAVE to put up a more recent profile pic of myself. I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of seeing myself in that pic looking pregnant in that awful red shirt, pretending Morgan Freeman is my homosexual life partner.
I'm going to Coney Island tomorrow with some friends, looking forward to riding the roller coaster without worrying about derailing it. Maybe I'll take some pics of myself to update my profile.

I'm so excited for you! I was there, man. I'd look at the subway entrance steps up to the sidewalk as if they were Kilimanjaro and I'd want to weep. New York is a walking city and I'd get home from work and want to just collapse into a puddle of sweat on the floor.
I went into the trendy men's clothing store Zara and my mouth started to Water thinking about one day being able to fit into their clothes (which are designed for anorexic European men).
Starting my 6th week out. In a frustrating stall, but at least I'm starting to fit into my "thin" clothes.
Your life won't be on hold for long. Good luck with your surgery.
And we appreciate YOU!
Gustavo

Reminded daily how much this surgery is needed. Cut the grass today and did okay this am, but found myself beat, hurting and short of breath while grocery shopping at Walmart. My endurance is shot. Had to take a break and sit for quite a while.
Went to Plato's Closet with wife and kids and thought maybe in six months or more I can buy something here, too.
So done with life on hold!!!
Preop is Tuesday.
Appreciate u guys.
Chad

Aww, thank you! One of the things I want to do before I die, from my "bucket list" as it were, is to throw my drink in someone's face. And your response reminded me of that. Maybe I'll tell more people now so when they give me one of the idiotic responses, I can do that. Then I can die. Seriously.

I can't wait to be so thin that I can go as Kate Moss or Calista Flockheart!

I reeeally don't want to start a political debate, but First Ladies have always had causes they support, and I think she picked a good one, like her or not. We DO have an obesity epidemic and we here are all living proof!
Absolutely agree about having healthier choices. We as consumers can effect change by voicing our opinions to dining establishments and voting with our pocketbook. Laws regulating what can be served would never work, and I don't think anyone (besides Mayor Bloomberg) would be foolish enough to try. I DO like the fact that restaurants have to disclose nutrition information. We cannot make good choices absent good information.

Ok..,so we all fall off the wagon...so last night..my daughter is having some flan...that stuff is like mermaids signing a siren's song to a horny sailor to me...love it...
Anyway...I keep telling myself...don't touch it...it's milk(I am lactose intolerant since having my surgery)...."You'll regret in the morning"!!!! I find myself saying.."just one bite won't hurt...just one". So course..one bite I took...and what do you know...it went down great...tasted even better. So what do I do but have another bite...then another...then another...and stop...4 small bites. Sigh..while this is certainly less than I would have ever done in the past, I felt satisfied. But the story doesn't end there....oh no..not there...today....I sound like an old mule out in the fields...my gut sounds like an alien has taken up residence and I dare not pass gas for fear I will shart instead! Oh flan...why must you be kryptonite!!!! Alas, it is karmic justice for my failure. *wipes a tear while rushing to the bathroom* So what did I learn...morale to the story you ask? Just stick to the diet and all will be well...my litte incendent encounter wasn't worth all of this!!! And remember..we all fail sometimes. Nobody is perfect!

It was just great to hear the doctors tell the world that we have not, by no means, chose the easy way out by having bariatric surgery to aid us in our fit against obesity. We are committing ourselves to a lifestyle that is totally foreign to us for th rest of our lives. If you don't know, we are some strong folks, with inner strentgh like nothing I've encountered!!!

So my hubby and my daughters went into Kmart to buy something. After they went in I realized that I needed something. I went in and got the thing I needed. I was at the register paying for my stuff when my hubby and kiddos came up to the register across from me. I saw my hubby look over at me, at which time I thought he realized that it was me. He looked me up from the feet to the top.....and then came across my face and then shook his head.
He didn't realize that it was me at all. When he did his face had this shocked and embarressed look on it. He laughed and said, "I just got caught checking out my own wife....haha!"
I thought it was pretty cool that I am skinny (and sexy) enough for my own hubby to check me out
Love it!!!!

Today I'm officially one year and 5 days post op. I've so far lost 98lbs. I'm so close to that 100lb lost it's crazy. The scale has slowed down alot but my body is changing soooo much. I'm doing about 1 hour of cardio a day and 30-45 minutes of strength training 3 to 4 times a week.
I hadn't noticed how much my body had changed until I saw my surgeon today and he asked about my measurements. In the last 6 weeks my bust size went from a 38 to a 36 (I started at a 48I), and I went from a 14/16 to a 10/12. My shirt size was a 3X and now I'm in a large which is getting pretty loose. This was the best decision I could've ever made for myself. I hope that you all are doing great! Keep up with the weight loss yall!
Here are some pics of me (before and after)

Christ on the Mount of Olives! He lost 224 lbs? That's...well...no words! Someone give this man a trophy!

Why does anyone pick on, castigate, beat on, or criticize other people? Because they see something in others they don't like in themselves. Formerly overweight people who are nasty to people who ARE overweight are like that because they hated being fat themselves.
It works that way with a lot of different forms of hate. Case in point: in high school I got tormented by certain guys because I was gay. I ended up seeing most of them in gay bars years later. Straight guys who have no sexuality issues with themselves usually don't care if another guy is gay (unless they're extremely ignorant and/or stupid). But these guys obviously had problems with their own sexual orientation and they took it out on me.
It's human nature and most people don't have the intellectual sophistication or strength of character to overcome it.

Funniest- maybe not. Coolest... yes!!!
I got out of a speeding ticket cause my drivers lic pic was insanely different than what I look like now.
After I convinced him that yes.... it IS me- he asked what happened. I told him about the surgery and he was pretty curious about the process and in the end let me go with a warning (warning to keep away from carbs and keep up the cardio!)
Yay for awesome life changes and the perks that go with them!

I don't think you're off topic .... And I totally agree with you. We (obese individuals) have to live with everyone judging us based on what they see and we can not hide it. It truly is the last open form of discrimination that's allowed in this world. Cant wait for this to be over.

I was recently at an amusement park where they have a seat outside each ride so larger riders can make sure they fit without wasting time in line. My son wanted me to go on a roller-coaster with him, so I thought I had better check before we wasted our time in line. As I was walking up to a seat, a couple pushed in front of me with what appeared to be 8 children and they all proceeded to get into and play on the seat (as if it was the ride...lol) while we waited...and waited. I was a little miffed to say the least, but I didn't say anything (well, a little under my breath to my son...and some angry glares). But then I realized that I wasn't really angry with them. I was grateful that the park had that opportunity to check it out beforehand, and I also told myself...this is potentially the last time you're ever going to have to do this...and that made me feel so much better. I can't wait to not worry about these little things anymore.