tovanta

I sorry for all that is happening to you....however I do find that we as individuals do not take the time to manage our own health and welfare. We depend on the Dr.'s, and as much as we hate to admit this, they are human. Just like any sales man, their livelyhood depends on the number of surgerys perform. We as responsible adults must take the position of understanding their own health. This means research, speaking with other medical personell, double checking credentials and using all amenities available to you. We can not lay blame on what we have control of....I wish you luck and better recovery and I hope you find true happiness in the decision you have made for yourself.

Maybe there has been some confusion.....as I read some of the responses....I believe....some of you thought that I have had the surgery already...I have not.....I am in the very begginning phases of the process....I have been doing mental battle for about 3 years...and finally in Oct....started taking real steps towards my end goal......I have just finish the Options class that Kaiser has you attend. I have also competed the physical work up...blood work....invasive sonograms....and those darn scales.....but I'm elated......the closer I get to end goal....the more accomplished I feel.,,,The closer I get to the end journey the clearer the understanding is ....THIS IS FOR LIFE....you cant turn back the hand time....and you cant wallow in woulda coulda and shoulda's..... I just wanted a place to place my honest thoughts out there....and maybe just maybe.....some one is out there saying "amen" or "I understand" or maybe find the humor in the twist and turns.......and as my waddle becomes a graceful saunter....im going to smile each step of the way....

I came home today, tired and exhausted from work. My to be brought some fried chicken home.....I ate a piece and was upset with myself from breaking down into the temptation of that oily greasy delicous piece of meat....;I instantly got up and started sewing (yes making my wedding guest gifts and loving every moment of it).... all of the sudden I broke out with a huge giggle, which turned into hysterical laughter....realizing I ate one piece of chicken....just one...not half the bird...not twenty wingettes.....just the wing......i made a huge step...I ate....i walked away realizing that this is not what i wanted or needed....and i found something to take me away....and it was almost effortlessly..... Im still grinning .....It feels wonderful to find triumph even in a mistake......

What may I ask i slimming???

Thats why I felt this would be a playground of encouraging words, heartfelt thoughts, more inner discovery....realizing that we are not alone in this journey....its going to be a rollercoaster....and im so glad I have jumped on the front row.....

I have started my journey.......actually i started about 3 years ago, but came up with every excuse in the world to hold myself back. Yes I said it....I was the queen of self sabotage......(thats another story all together).....I have now put my best foot forward to achieve this goal......my weight loss is now at 29 pounds....and yes Im feeling a bit sexy and risque.....on top of losing weight I am planning my wedding which will be in Jamaica.....Ohhhhhh so now its seems a bit clearer....yes sometimes the feeling is as if my mind is split into thousands of molecule particles...... Since completing the Options program (a program which you must complete in order to have bariatric surgery through kaiser)...there has been so many self discoveries and understanding the true inner demons with in myself. However; it has felt like waking out out of a fog that I have been drifting through for many years. Lies and deceit...all to myself....NO matter how I believed myself to be a woman of honor who has never felt the need to lie to anyone......well I was lying to myself almost on an hourly basis.....again thats another story for another time... the track for me as been drawn out....and just like that green arrow in that ins comercial (and right now I can not for the life of me remember the name of the ins) anywayssss......im following my little green arrow....Im going to make a habit to release myself on this blog.....honesty will be a must.....comedy will be a natural part....Im going to share my fears, and my victories....and will sit back an enjoy this transition in my life..... dang this blog was all about me.....and I think I like it....and that too is another long story.....Now going to finish sewing.....yes im making some of my welcome bag gifts already..... cant wait to watch this all play out ......