SashaWLS

I was a total failure at trying to prepare for the band eating habits before, but seem to be doing ok now that I have it. So do your best, but don't make it something you use to beat yourself up about if you can't seem to make yourself get it right. You won't know what it feels like till you know what it feels like. Regarding drinking, I haven't solved this yet. I try and try, but I seem to always have to have a little sip... FWIW, drinking before isn't a big deal, you just want it down before you start eating... But drinking after is a bigger deal because it washes the food down. It's totally not intuitive, and I have yet to have a perfect meal. But I'm not doing so bad either...

Ugh, I think I have a little flap of seaweed stuck from my sushi earlier. It feels like a little flap, that opens when I burp and then seals closed again. Anyone get rid of this? I don't want to throw up if I can help it...

Hey you... I read your whole post and TOTALLY understand how you feel. I feel it too. I'm a MESS. All over the place, angry, depressed, mopey, catatonic, excitable... Everything except all happy that I have this thing in me that won't let me eat. I feel like my soul is going to explode... Definitely find a shrink. And if you've never been to one before, make sure you try a few, then pick the one you like the most. Not all therapists are good, or good for YOU. You have to find someone you click with, who gets you, who gets "it", who won't make you feel more anxious, or make you feel like you're talking to a brick wall... Finding the right shrink can be hard (or it can be a snap) but it's really important to know that if it takes a while, it's NOT you!!! A therapist is great, cause you can vent. You can rant and say out loud all the crazy crap you wouldn't even tell your best friend. And then once it's out of your mouth, sometimes the power is gone, and sometimes it helps you figure out what to do next. That said, you don't HAVE to have a shrink. It just helps tune out the static and focus on what's important... On another note, there's a new book that just came out called Through Thick & Thin, which is all about the emotional journey of weight loss surgery. It's by the guy who I had my psych evaluation with... Here's the link: http://www.warrenhuberman.com FEEL BETTER!!!

for what it's worth, I feel the same way. only, it's getting harder to eat fast or a lot or big pieces... this isn't a "diet to mess up" just like the past, this is something that will restrict you from being able to binge... give it time. I'm trying to give it time. it's really hard. maybe the hardest thing we've ever done... I mean, I'm a food addict, so I must be insane to do something that takes away my fix...

You're normal!! It was about a week before I could sit up without my body aching. And while it's good to walk, you should listen to your body. Push yourself without exerting yourself. I'm sure watermelon is fine, but I didn't want that taste after surgery. After all the sweet Protein shakes during preop, all I wanted afterwards was savory and salt!

I didn't come off medication but I have all the other symptoms mentioned. IM A MESS!!! Angry, upset, needy, distant, and I just want to eat every 15 minutes. Totally not hungry, it's all in my head. Last night I went to see a movie just to escape my head. Surprisingly, it worked very well. I was in a much better mood afterwards! I don't how long this will last, but I definitely feel like a junkie who is having withdrawal symptoms because the fix was taken away. I can hardly stand it. Hopefully everything will even out soon. Hopefully.

Toss them!!! Live for now!

You certainly could be right and I guess we'll never know, but I was making the assumption that if she's a grand aunt, that she is pretty old. In my family it's always the old bats who have a slightly warped and rigid view of their reality, and there's no telling what's going to come out of their mouths! My grandmother would have dropped dead from shock if she knew what I weighed... She was from the depression generation, which brings with it a whole different worldview...

Thanks Ice -- I'll try water next time! Right now I dont think it's physical though. I feel a little like a caged animal and my anger and rebellion at being confined is getting to me...

LOVE THIS!!! This journey, so far only 1 month in, is really hard in unexpected ways. I needed this dose of sanity tonight. Thank you.

I desperately want to eat something. Anything. I'm jumping out of my skin. Heading to see a movie, which I know I'll be late to, just to get away from the screaming crazy that is my head. I know why it did this. Why did I do this? I'm reminded of the last line of Beckett's The Unnamable... "You must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on."

First of all, let me just say that I totally feel for you. I understand how you feel, understand how that set you off, and hope you can click back in the groove!! But I think the issue for most of us, long term, is how do we all maintain focus and momentum WITHOUT external reinforcement... There will be a time when we've lost all the weight we need to lose, when people get used to seeing us thinner, when we're not the "news item of the week" anymore and are just dealing with our own day to day crap... After being on Weight Watchers for many years and following the boards, I heard this from folks on maintenance over and over... "No one's complimenting me anymore, I feel so bad, I lost my motivation, now I just want to eat"... I don't know what the answer is here for HOW to be ok without external reinforcement, but (without knowing her) I doubt your daughter's great aunt intended to be hurtful. Maybe you don't look like you've lost a lot of weight to her, because maybe she was expecting if you lost 44lbs you'd be skinny. Who knows what preconceived notions of what X pounds = X body shape she brings to the table. For people who have always been thin 44lbs is the difference between out of control fat, and thin. For those of us who had the surgery, 44lbs is a good solid start, but often not even halfway to goal! But chin up. We're here for you and we can help reinforce you and you're doing AMAZING!!!!

Thanks, I'm better now. Had a big glass of very hot tea, which helped, and then about an hour after that I had a huge burp. Maybe it was all the bending over finally catching up with me!

I had the same thing happen, but the surgical coordinator said to sit down with my PCP and have him write up everything he could think of to document a history of trying to lose weight. I mean, if he could write down every time he weighed you and you talked about it, it might be 6 months!!

A few links to threads about leaks and complications on the Verticalsleevetalk.com site: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/34229-folks-who-have-had-complications/page__hl__regret "Well my wife cousin is in ICU right now, I don't know if you want to put her in the list, she's not is this forum yet, I hope she can in the future. She had a leak, a second surgery , she is 1.5 month out and she is in the ICU on a induced coma for the last 2 weeks, she has lung infection and is breathing with the help of a machine via a tracheostomy." http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/29403-i-definitely-regret-surgery-so-far/ Follows the journey of "jasleeve" Surgery Dec 20th, this post Feb 4 -- "i wouldnt wish this on anyone. i feel so sick. & i know my friends are tired of hearing me complain about it so i try & stay to myself but damn!!!! i dont know how much more i can take. they say ill get better but im getting worse!!!! & they said the stent has to stay for 4-6weeks. i thought i was already 2 weeks in! im not. im only 1week & 2days in! this is TORTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it has even crossed my mind to switch to bypass to just get past this part! i cant deal with this feeling!" http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/31724-angry-depressed-have-leak-stent-and-pick-line/page__p__276129__hl__+jasleeve%20+doctor__fromsearch__1#entry276129 "I had the sleeve surgery Jan. 30th, 2012. Went home fine from the hospital the next day - feeling great. Six days later, I am sitting on the couch and experience extreme left shoulder pain and left abdominal pain. I drive myself to the hospital and I have a leak. They did surgery that night to suture the site but the surgery failed. On Feb. 14th, I had a stent put in. I spent 10 days in the hospital. Now I have a pick line in my arm and I have TPN bag that I use on a 14 hour basis (7pm-9am). This is so scary to me. I am depressed, crying. I have to have the stent in for 8 weeks - hopefully it will close the leak. Has ANYONE had this happen? What was the result? While on the pick line I am having extreme heartburn. The doctor said if the stent doesnt work then I will need a 4th major surgery? I am praying it doesnt get to that point? Has anyone gone thru this? Provide advice? I am alone here and very scared. I wonder if I will ever get back to normal. Is their light at the end of tunnel?"

I drank VERY hot tea tonight and that finally seems to have helped clear out whatever was stuck... 12 hours later. ugh. But at least it seems to be out...

Hi there... It seems to be normal. I'm having the same issues. I was in a deep funk all night tonight when I sort of suddenly realized that I just didn't feel well. Seems sort of silly in retrospect that I didn't know I wasn't feeling well, I mean, I should know my own body, right?? But once I identified that I was actually feeling nauseous, made some tea, walked around and burped about 100x, I actually felt better mentally... Anyway, I'm no expert because here I am right here with you, but maybe it would help to try to chase down the feeling or thought that sent you into a tailspin. Might not be what you think it is, or you might have tried to shove the feeling away before you even let yourself feel it. And now that we can't eat to cover it up, we're just stuck feeling lousy!

If the sleeve goes well, it's great. But if the sleeve goes badly, it's much, much worse than a band that's gone badly... For what it's worth I originally wanted the sleeve (badly) but after doing a lot of research, the decision came down to a numbers game... -- The mortality rate for the sleeve is 1/200... Mortality rate for the band is 1/2000. -- Sleeve complications are MUCH MUCH worse than band complications... 1% of the people who get the sleeve have a leak, and those who do are in agony, in and out of the hospital for up to 5-6 months at a time, and say they regret the surgery (search leak on verticalsleevetalk.com and see what that's like for them...) -- roughly 1/3 of the people who get bypass or sleeve gain it back with no other option afterwards than to get the band on top of their cut-up stomach (i.e. carny wilson) The sleeve seems to be a fabulous option when it works! But the risk that it could turn out to be a total disaster is also much higher. I have a 4-year old daughter and don't feel like I have the right to gamble lightly with something that might take me out... If the band works, then I'm done with only a minimally invasive surgery and no cutting up of my organs. People do have problems with the band, and if I were one of those people I might consider the sleeve as a revision. But a lot of people are also successful with the band, and for me, it didn't make sense not to at least try it and hope it works!!!

I think this is very good advice. I haven't been measuring anything, and I'm quite sure (and was at the time) that I overate... I am a binge eater. I don't like snacking. Hell, I don't really like food all that much and can easily go 12-14 hours without eating anything. But when I eat, I eat huge portions. I knew you could eat around the band, but I guess I really did think that the one thing the band would do is stop me from being able to overeat in one sitting... But if I can overeat and will just feel like this? I guess I'm going to start measuring.

sadly no big burp... got a few smaller burps, but nothing satisfying... Will keep trying.

Hey, I'm game!! So what, bend down to touch my toes and try to burp? Ok, I'm gonna try it! Hope I don't throw up on my toes. hehehe!

I'm not so much in pain as really nauseous... It's like a mucus lump in my throat, and I have been wanting/trying to burp for hours, but can't get a good burp going.... I can go out and buy some pineapple juice, but it's almost midnight and I should be going to sleep soon. Though lying down doesn't feel so good anyway, so maybe I should go out...