CowgirlJane

jenny... I know what you mean. I am sometimes a little saddened by the "damage" and wish I had a "do over" available, but i don't.....I do however take condolence in knowing I am more active, fit and feeling good than many women my age!

Florinda, when i was banded and lacked education on the subject, I often got an acidy burning tummy. I am convinced this caused my frozen yogurt/ice cream addiction. I swear, a soft cone from DQ or McD was the best way to soothe the fire. I luckily (haha) had a decade of experiencing that, so I am very tuned into acid feeling like hunger. It sucks and the best thing you can do is recognize it and control it otherwise I do think it drives you to eat - or not eat sometimes. DGL Licorce, found at health food stores is a more natural soother. I don't take a PPI, but I do take the DGL sometimes. I bite it up, and but it between lip and gums to let it dissolve slowly and coat my esophogus and tummy. It was one of the things that got me eating again last year when i had no appetite. I was thinking about your lack of satisfaction with your job. I think it is a little bit of a harsh reality for most of us that we are not saving the world.... One thing to think about is your own personal life goals. I think I recall you dream of kids and marriage - is that still n the radar? Then there is the caring for your own physical and emotional well being... From a life satisfaction point of view, I think putting those thoughts and timelines on the radar is a very effective way to balance your own needs versus the dreams of making a difference. When I was early 20s, I had big dreams career wise. In some ways I did not meet them, in other ways I exceeded them. I do believe in having big goals, but I wish that all those years ago I had a bit more thought into MY needs and wants and how to live a full and healthy life over some of these goals I had. I wanted it all - and I did have the husband, kids, a nice house, lots of world travel, feeling self important at my job etc but it was sending me to an early grave/obesity. I was looking at pics of myself from the flying high years and I looked like hell. I am younger and healthier looking now. I joke that it is because i am a Gemini, but I have a restless soul. I am often wanting to do, try, experience, see, feel new things. That restless spirit is sometimes a great strength as I have much energy, curiousity and it has contributed to some big career successes - I often don't see things the way some others do which opens doors. Flip side, that restlessness hasn't always helped me feel content in life. i have been going through that big time myself. Like, my day to day life is excellent and outstanding... and yet I often feel like I am not doing enough, I am not accomplishing anything, I am not serving or caring for anyone, I am a bit purposeless. Turns out lots of people's lives are like that and they don't seem to let it bother them... hmmmm. Example, I recently met some people who seem quite content working ho hum jobs, working out (like alot of working out, serious athletes) and maybe a few glasses of wine at a happy hour from time to time. I had a thought the other day to foster some rescue dogs because I am an animal lover and I have friends that do all that and the need is huge. Then it hit me, that is not my path. I am not destined to age into the "cat lady" or "puppy lady"...anymore than I am destined to be the gym rat. I still don't exactly know my path because i am having a hard time accepting that I may very well be single forever... and it is so ingrained in me that my life path is deeply intertwined with a man/partner. I talk with alot of single ladies and I notice that many of them LOVE the freedom and choices this life gives them. I do too.... but i still feel that "missing" and I notice some of my single lady friends feel that way too. I am not sure if it is bad messaging from our childhood rearing its ugly head or if it is really our "truth." I feel at some level, more complete when I am in a true relationship.

We all have to do something we enjoy, that fits our lifestyle, but High intensity interval training has a proven track record of increasing fitness, reducing bodyfat etc. It is usually done by sprinting, but due to knee issues, I did it with a spinning bike when I started it about 2 years ago. I took time off from it, but now, I am starting up taking a kickboxing class and it is created around HIIT concepts - tough and effective workouts in less time. Previous to shifting to HIIT type stuff I was doing eliptical, treadmill and weight machines. I was not making progress on my fitness - just staying steady state - until I switched to HIIT. I don't lift weights anymore, I do all my strength training as "bootcamp style" like pushups, planks, lunges, burpees and other forms of torture. If I had time to add weight training, I would use free weights over machines for best results. Anyway, I also suspect calories are too high, but I don't track calories. I track carbs which tends to help keep calories down too.

So, the standard advice is to wait 12-24 months post weight loss. I had consults with 5 different plastic surgeons.... i did the consults within a few months after reaching goal. Every one of them said the exact same thing. Given that I had lost 150++ pounds, after a lifetime of obesity and had lots of extra skin... waiting would not make any difference. What happens is your skin will continue to "bounce back some" - how much varies alot. If your skin has become stretched to the point it is poor quality - it will NOT bounce back at all even with time. My tummy apron and mons areas plus arms were definately like that. So, for a person who might be "borderline" on whether to get plastics or which procedures are needed should wait. For a person (like me) who clearly needed skin removal, waiting that long has little benefit. I hit goal in Feb 2013, did consults starting int he spring of 2013 and then in Oct 2013 had plastics. I have lots of photos and have evidence I didn't really improve significantly from Feb to Oct. Having said all that, i could hide all that extra skin (except arms and inner thighs) with shapewear/spanx. Dresses were great because my extra thigh skin was all on the upper inner thigh which actually showed up through jeans even. This is why the arm lift was in many ways the procedure that made the most difference in my "clothed" looks. I went from looking matronly to looking trim/fit by reducing that arm bulk. My sons girlfriend was shocked - I was wearing a leather jacket and she could see how much smaller I looked, just because of the arm bulk reduction. I am happy i did plastics, but I think you can live a great life with out them. The key is getting the weight off!

i got off track over the holidays - eating and drinking the wrong things too much! I am pretty well back on track, but have been having diarhea so i thought to introduce Probiotics at the beginning of the year. I wondered if my gut flora was thrown out of balance by eating so badly. I noticed no change/improvement over nearly 3 weeks. I thought maybe those are old - so I bought new ones and will start them this week. Directions say to take one a day. I am curious what I should notice/ how can I tell if they are making any difference?

I went through menopause fairly young - early 40s - my BMI was in the 50s. My primary care doctor said she had patients go through it in their 30s, unusual, but not unheard of. I have a very very hard time believing that a body fat of 27% is too low and would cause this... I too would suggest another opinion, perhaps from a gyn? I have "joint issues" that were caused by my lifetime of obesity - was not caused by WLS. I modify activities to protect my knees. i found out a year ago (thanks to a crappy personal trainer) that I also have hip issues/arthritis. I still ride horses, go skiing, do high intensity workouts and just started kickboxing. I would love to run and maybe do a tough mudder, but I am sure it would really kill my knees so choosing to not do that. People say WLS causes excess skin for example. I think "no, obesity caused excess skin, losing weight removed the fat and now I see it as excess skin." WLS didn't cause connective/joint issues - the damage was done by the obesity and living this high intensity workout lifestyle causes you to notice it. BTW, a good friend is 2 years younger than me, tiny tiny 95# lady who was never obese. She had to have a knee replaced a year ago. some of it is just life, bad luck etc. and not always caused by obesity or losing weight.

I am 3 years post op and it has changed, even saved my life. I was super morbidly obeses and am now normal sized. It remains hard, but for different reasons. I suggest staying focused on why you did this....keep your eye on the prize. The uncomfortable early months soon become a distant memory...hang in there.

The... I am not really losing this go around either. I am down 2 pounds in same timeframe my girlfriend has lost 14. I was very active this weekend and have sore muscles. I hope the s c a l e is reflecting Water retained in tired muscles! I recognize further changes to make.... but it feels like the further post sleeve I am, t h e harder this gets for me.

pancake, I would try 2 changes 1. Go low carb and 2. Go high intensity shorter duration work outs. Zumba is not high intensity. Look up HIIT for ideas. Vee welcome back. Sorry for your troubles! You should start a thread about your status so people see it.

I did my first class this morning and it was really fun! It challenged me - and it wasn't just kickboxing, there was some running, planks, pushups, burpees etc. Other students were very encouraging and I feel like I caught on fast. I am hoping this high intensity fun class - close to home - helps propel me out of my little funk!

Losing 50# via WLS versus any other method is still 50# lost - is that your question? I started at a very high BMI, weighed over 300# and nobody even noticed the first 50# lost. When I had lost 75 or so the comments started rolling in. I tell you - that experience was an eye opener that i was so big that 50# was sort of a rounding number...egad.

i am feeling virtuous today. I made the WW Soup yesterday (thank you for reminding me - my personal modifications came back to my memory!) and started kickboxing today. Kickboxing - I think i have found my people.

A few things.... you are lucky that you haven't had to work really hard so far...haha. I had to push push push, eat low carb etc to get to a normal BMI. People around you will always think you are "too skinny" but eventually they forget what you used to look like and they won't see it that way anymore. Excess skin looks like fat. You can get thin as a rail and still have excess skin. I was at a healthy weight even a bit heavier than goal, I consider the remaining "vanity pounds" and each person has to decide what is worth it to them - lower weight might be harder to maintain.

I used to cook with a pressure cooker when I was a poor college student - tender meats etc. This is the first I have been tempted to try again. I have a great crock pot/slow cooker that i use regularly already, trying to decide if this would be worth it.

Look at this as an educational experience. When I was a few months out from my sleeve I went to an unmoderated support group. The ladies there started talking about all the junk food they loved - donuts, fair food etc. I asked them and they had each lost about 50#, were about a year out and were still quite heavy. Note to self: don't role model myself after them! I think finding people you can relate to, who had the success you dream of - and copy their success factors SHAMELESSLY! Good luck

Well, I agree with emersing yourself with supportive people. I also suggest you get some counseling and look at this objectively. It MIGHT be you are projecting some of this. When I first lost all that weight - I FELT like everyone was looking at me. Originally, I thought they were staring because I looked so bad. At some point I realized that might have been illogical, because i was definately looking better after losing about half my body weight. So, i got to goal about 2 years ago. I no longer feel like people are staring at me. What changed? I would guess my mindset is the main thing that changed.

Cathy, I haven't heard of it - best thing is to check reviews on amazon. Kelly - I am looking for a superbowl party. I can join some via meetups, but let me know the coolest place in town to go since I think I am going solo! Denise - I misunderstood I thought you had a current infection. Sounds like your PCP has a good plan to intervene rather than just repeating with surgeon again. I am pissed off at myself. I think I am on the verge of really getting a grip - as my eating is pretty good - I am just not working out hard enough to make my goals. I am going through a small tantrum over it right now..haha... Thing is I actually like working out, but I am worried about my bad elbow etc. Sort of like when you become less active, the obstacles to resuming seem bigger. Anyway, I am on the edge of great things!

Strangefruit,good job. I haven't made that WW soup in ages, do you have recipe?

I am sorry..can't edit with kindle. Last two titles are wrong. Lost for Life Mind of a Rampage Killer (Nova show)

A few documentaries..in truth I watch all types of documentaries but these come to mind. Hitler's children -a very moving and educational film about the descendants of the 3rd Reich. Restrepo -must watch...our soldiers in a remote valley in Afganistan Blackfish- the reason people boycott sea world (A flim on orca intelligence was fascinating but I can't recall title) Coywolf- human disruption of an environment contributed to evolution of a new species. Buck- seems like it is about horses but it's really about people. Frontline: Hunting the nightmare bacteria - now I am really scared of drug resistance bacteria. Everyone needs to watch this. Life - about adult lifers in prison for crimes they comiitted as juveniles. Is that ethical? Wait, before you decide...watch the next one Rage Killers - interesting explanation of why some people are prone to going off the deep end and murdering

Yeah Michigan chic you got it. I have filled my life with wonderful more meaningful things and pleasures and yet sometimes I just want to eat...old habits old demons never really gone just sometimes more solidly beaten into submission than other times.

I started 308# and lost down to 140 at my lowest. I am in the 150s right now. I exercised alot. I did not do wraps or any of that. Skin does rebound/tighted somewhat with time, but it gets really stretched out when you are that much overweight. The really sad thing is some of the skin actually becomes poor quality... thin. This was true for me in a few areas. Anyway, exercising makes you look better and be healthier but it does not remove excess skin. Time does help some, but if you have alot of extra skin it won't rebound completely... or even mostly. Spanx or other shapewear helps very much - without it i always had a skin muffin top until I had plastic reconstructive surgery which made a huge difference. However, I didn't have surgery head to toe so I still have excess skin on my back but it isn't bad enough for me to try to address. I just avoid tight bra bands etc. I attached a photo. The two on the left are post reconstructive plastics. The bottom right, I was at goal but not wearing any spanx. So, yes, I had a bit of a melted snowman effect but I for sure looked way way way better than my before picture! Wearing spanx, I could hide all that skin except for the arms.

I was in a live in long term relationship at the time of my sleeve. My partner was supportive in the sense that he drove me to appointments, never tried to talk me out of it and never sabatoged me. However, I had lost 125# and I finally asked him if he had noticed me looking better. Yep, he had paid nary a compliment. What was really going on was we had been "broken up" for awhile but i was so lost in the fog of my illness that I didn't really get it. I could have really benefited from my partner being able to compliment, cheer me on and comfort me but he wasn't able. It was lonely in some ways but i have a lot of friends and great work colleagues who filled the gap. I feel like people who say things like "I wish the person had just tried harder without surgery" actually have no idea what it is like to reach the helpless zone regarding managing obesity. I simply could not do it without surgery and even with, it it has not been totally easy. On the looking in the mirror alot etc - I don't know, he could really be going through a big headspace change and struggling with it. Those things seem like temporary adjustments... annoyances. I weigh daily to keep myself accountable - otherwise I start regaining so I don't see that as obsessive. One thing I know about relationships, they don't work out well if they are somehow competitive or advserial.

I had a hard time following all of the original post, but I can share a very short story that i think is relevant. I have had two significant relationships in my life. i married my high school sweetheart and divorced him in my early 30s. Then I connected with a man who i never married but who lived with me over a decade and was stepdad to my kids. Two very different men but they had one thing in common - I financially supported the whole lot. Don't wait till your 50 to decide you deserve to be with someone who "pulls his own weight" on the finance front. for myself, single again and not really loving all aspects of single life, I still would not go back to being taken advantage of financially - I would rather be alone.

Lillehammer - NJ gangster sets up shop in a small skiing town in Norway