Chimera

Here's hoping for a sweet romantic smooch

Thanks for the support guys I really appreciate it. And it is Kelly with a y M2 I think a friend is hosting a superbowl party - I am sure it will be a festival of bad for us food so I will do my best to prep for hubby and myself. It is very exciting for our teams to be competing! Best of luck to your Bronco's and I hope that my team will do well - I think it will be quite a show with our strong defense going against your powerful offense. We both know we display seriously addictive behaviors with food - this dysfunction runs in both of our families with obesity, drug and alcohol and co-dependency issues. I have felt better since my venty post - The house is cleaned out of crap and I have had a bit of a mental reboot - I tend to go right to the place where I feel that I am a failure even when I have had incredible success, even though I have yet to hit that elusive goal weight, I need to work on telling myself that I am till a success! Hard work. My husband works out lke a demon an hour a day - 6 days a week. He runs on the treadmill like a contestant on the biggest loser at 16 weeks in, he can run at a full on sprint which he can maintain for quite a while - it is freakishly impressive. I have an old friend from NYC that I met when I lived in the city - she had/has a serious issue with sugar - we would go to the magnolia bakery in the west village and she would order 5 massive pieces of cake - eat them all and then workout like a madman every day so she could eat that way - she looks very fit. I have seen this woman buy two carrot cakes and skin them of their cream cheese frosting like a wild animal. Brent, my husband has said that he is on the "Kendall" plan lol. He tends to follow my lead and I can get militant with keeping our home safe with good foods so I know things will get back to normal. The good thing is experiencing the crazy food thing over the holidays and coming out the other side - I will prepare accordingly. It starts to get rough in September with the kickoff of all of the family females birthdays, each one of us has a birthday mid-month September, October, November, and then we are well into holiday season. So the fall/winter third of the year, when comforty foods and food focused socializing gets going and the weather gets cold and rainy and blah is when it gets harder for me. I think OA is something I will like - I think that one reason that the lapse of our normal program of nutrition and exercise has been so scary is feeling out of control again. It isn't just about the lbs..the weight is the symptom. I spent so long with my head buried in the sand and not taking responsibility for my health that feeling a loss of control is frightening. My resolution for the year has been to work on my resilience....Clarity is another one that seems to be presenting itself again and again. It feels as if I am learning to be a better advocate for myself - with my health, my job (which more and more I realize is a corrupt system - academic/adjuncts, which I wont be able to change.) Healing and mindfulness for all of us Thank you guys for your kind words and thoughts.

Testing my little video link - bad videos from NFC win and chanting crowd on the way out of c-link field Had a very serious talk with hubby last night to stop bringing bad food home - got really angry about feeling like I am going to fail and regain all of my weight. Just when I would be doing great and getting carbs under control - donuts and candy and chips get brought home - wanting to go out and eat hamburgers every night...told him it has to stop (this man has also had vsg surgery). I swear that I have crossed some threshold that now I am in the grips of full on food-focused addiction again - if there is something I should not eat around the house, I cant stop thinking about it until I have eaten all of it...to the point I can make myself sick. Sorry to pop in and vent - just getting things back in line before they spiral way out of control...go hawks!

Good to hear that LV is okay - I rarely check out other forums since I have been a part of our little group here so I am always out of the loop with what is going on- same way in life too haha! Been having good workouts this week - my fasting days have been a tiny bit shaky - its really been a challenge to not go over 500 the last few weeks - but is it pretty clear how detrimental the whole holiday feasting thing is. The carb detoxing makes me feel better every day thank goodness. On the work front I guess things remain to be seen - so I am going to do my best and realize that it is just my job - not my life - my health and my family and my own sanity are the most important things right? One good thing is that I have such a big teaching load this spring that I will generate a lot of income over the next few months. Our wedding anniversary is this weekend and we did nave plans for a nice brunch at Salty's (a lovely spot on the water here in Seattle) but have cancelled it because we have managed to score tickets to the Seahawks/49'ers NFC championship game! woohoo As far as adding folks - I know Queen has been a round a long time, I have read her blog and she seems like she would be a great addition. With that said I think as far as newcomers, this group is really beyond just 5:2. As there is a thread on the main forum I think that is fine for discussing 5:2 issues. Love you guys and I am off to buy cat food and look for some new tennis shoes.

Morning gals - I too am amazed at how you guys can respond line for line to everyone - I hope that my 'blanket' like posts do not offend for my lack of personalization - I write to all of you as always. Scale is up - needs to come back down. Last weeks faculty meeting which I was terrified of, was illuminating. Seems the new retooling of our program - which I have been very enthusiastic about, will be the end of my own teaching position Ahh well - it is a good impetus to get me back on track with my own artistic practice - I too need to get my artistic mojo back - which is next to impossible with getting so little 'head space' for artistic concerns with two stressful college teaching gigs - teenagers - trying to keep my new food and fitness life under control....yeesh. I hope Laura is okay - I understand when folks take a break - I do the hermit crab thing with most folks rather than reach out - hubby is the one who gets the weepy, confused crap to contend with - which he has gotten a lot of lately. What seemed easy last year, with food, work, etc - now feels pretty hard. I go to 95% of all my hospital's support group meetings - it is usually a good mix of vets and pre-surgery folks - I did not go to this last weekends mtg because of the Seahawks game - it is a frenzy around these parts, heh Jane I am certain you can relate At the last meeting, a few members shared their experience with Overeater's anonymous - I think I am going to check these out - honestly, I feel like a drunk when I get around chips and candy...need to get firm with myself again! My husband called my body luscious yesterday - luscious...here I am hating the floppy extra skin and beating myself up and he follows me around the house like a hungry wolf lol - I need to start subscribing to his world view methinks. As far as pleasure goes - I tend to take care of that myself - no matter how in tune a man can be - I can get the job done much better than anyone else can hah! Hope you guys have a great day - fasting today.

I have Clonazepam for anxiety - usually for long car trips - I feel like taking some now because the next two days are our winter faculty retreat. Don't be fooled, it sounds like a spa day but is anything but. This one will feature two grueling days of retooling college curriculum on an unprecedented scale...I love the work, but it is the politics and hysterical nature of a handful of my colleagues that totally freaks me out. The scale is down which is excellent - I am so far ahead of my 1 lbs a week goal for losses - this is good. I bought Tracey Anderson's Metamorphosis DVD workout and the dance-cardio disc is a killer - 30 straight minutes of jumping - it will take me a bit to get used to it. Not to mention the old knees. I am fasting today, and planning on Friday as well - at 130 cals. so far. Going to really focus on the hydration which is one reason I think my weight can balloon - I think I must have a hump like a camel lol. I think I will put those anti-anxiety meds in my bag for tomorrow lol.

We definitely had some issues with Frangos this Christmas - bought a big bag of them as gifts for friends and family, lets just say they go down so easy that not all of those boxes of delicious made it to their planned destination lol. I am not buying these again.

Good afternoon gals! Sorry it has been so long since I have posted - just caught up with everyone. I reformatted the computer I usually post on, and have been reading on my tablet - which takes ages for me to post with, so I have been lurker status, which is very normal for me. Assessing the damage post holiday I am up a few lbs. I am leaving my ticker alone, as it is my benchmark for my lowest hopefully I will be back there soon. Considering what a carbohydrate orgy the month of December has been - 5 lbs is not as bad as it could be. All of the crap is gone other than a bit of cocoa and a can of whipped cream (which the teenager tends to shoot directly into her mouth hehe.) Baked up a batch of my densest protein - baked chicken breasts and am stuffed to the gills after about 2 oz.....trying to get back to the basics. Been having hair issues - I love, love, love my grey hair - but it was getting discolored with the heat/product needed to tame my fine blah hair - so I colored it a few weeks back - shooting for a warm base color that wont be a nightmare to grow out - so far it is okay - but I have had the worst two haircuts I have ever had over the past month - mind you I am not that picky considering my former profession - but lord - the attention to detail and craftsmanship, not to mention customer service certainly isn't what it used to be - "back in my day" I usually wear it short and messy - seeing as my best pal hairstylist has relocated to sunny palm springs I am now growing my hair out. Usually I go for urban/utilitarian hair, now I guess I will try for something sexier, which I am sure hubby will like. Turning 50 this year - so would like to hit that weight goal - it would be awesome by my 2 year surgiversary, but if I don't make it, that is okay too - think I am going to work on a modest 1 lbs a week. Fine tuning, like most of are. This past week has been good - at the gym with my hubby a lot - broke a hard sweat 4 times all in all. Hoping everyone's dates are going well, everyone's kids are thriving and happy - GT - hope you are feeling well and positive, I think about you every time I work out with your Insanity program, which I have never tried. I did pick up Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis to try out as a supplement to the gym for home when I have to teach in the afternoons. I will keep you guys posted. We saw three movies this holiday season, Catching Fire, The Hobbit, and Walter Mitty - all of them were great - Walter Mitty was our absolute favorite though - I wanted to see it again the moment was over, I highly recommend it. Kept passing a wonderful little optical shop on the way to the car - so I booked an appt last week for new eyeglasses which I have been very overdue for, looking forward to my new progressives which should be in soon. Happy New Year you guys - other than the concrete with goal - I want to work on my inner strength and resilience, especially so that my work environment doesn't do a number on me as much as it has this past fall - but I know I have mentioned that before.

Morning gals! Spent the day yesterday making sugar cookies - soon they will be gone. My husband seems to have gone out of his mind with eating them - luckily he works out for a minimum of an hour a day at the gym and those cookies will soon be gone. Christmas menu: Filet mignon (from Costco - these are super!) Roast Turkey Breast - yay leftovers Scalloped potatoes - for the carb eaters Green beans - yay Cranberry Sauce - for a little zing And going a bit old school making the cream puffs my mom used to make me as a kid from the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook - plan on one puff a person. Christmas day brunch is a low-carb bacon and Swiss quiche - and packing up any and all carbs with departing family members. Diet reset incomming! The scale had been up a bit - but has dropped back down a bit today - thank goodness. Last year we were only about 7 months out from surgery, and we were travelling for the holiday and did not have to deal with much crazy holiday food in the house, so it seemed easy - this year I can see how much more strategic I need to be with food and really making time for planned exercise - it is the first thing that seems to get pushed to the side. Okies - off the Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy one last gift for hubby - a new set of beautiful steak knives - for cutting meat! Not pastries lol. Glad to hear everyone is hanging in there - I don't drink much these days, but the times I have I haven't noticed that I get buzzed at all - kinda felt jipped lol.

Testing posting from the tablet....hubby bought mint cookies at Costco yesterday yikes. I have been doing a lot of Target shopping, yikes...will need to keep an eye on the aacts.word for the day seems to be yikes.

Absolutely! The true purpose of the all of those creative endeavors is dialog - a discussion, the connection that is forged - or prompted I suppose one could say as one experiences a work of art. Art is - and is about discourse. I have tons of documentation of my own work, students work - it is a big part of my job to get after students to help them realize how important reflection and subsequent documentation is a huuuuge part of being an artist - at least one who is able to articulate themselves in an oftentimes confusing contemporary art world A lot of that work is on other drives - I can Google myself and see what I get lol - how lazy am I. M2 - just think of the digital as another media - like a pencil with a bit more of a threshold to cross to get at it. I am so tired of how we label ourselves as artists - yes I could say I am a traditional oil painter (and I am - and this form of 2D work is one I consider to be the most moving, and thought provoking) but whose practice has become very amorphous - a recent project had me working almost purely conceptually - with creating a database of every item I own - literally, down to cotton balls and paper clips - the inventorying of every file on a daisy chain of hard drives going back almost a decade is still incomplete - and is frankly punishing - I finally got to the point that I asked myself just why I was punishing myself....good question. ALL of us are artists - no matter what form our creative products take. How we treat one another is a form of art in my opinion. I guess I am learning that how we treat ourselves is one as well Here is a visual piece from a while back - Interpreting the myth of Pandora - archival pigment ink on paper 32" x 24" edition of three - all sold, and this one won an award from Sony, and another from the curator of prints and drawings from the Brooklyn Museum of Art - was in a digitally theme museum show in San Diego.

Good lord I am a board n00b - I tried to use the multi-quote option - as I wanted to quote from multiple fine posts and it failed to work - ah well. I will take notes next time. I like SherylJane as well - sounds sassy! thanks for posting the links, your profile is awesome and it is fun looking at the menfolk - they look like fine dates - though I have to admit that the snapshot of Mark with the big lion (and him being a Leo) had me snorting a bit of coffee out of my nose. My mom, a few very close friends and a longtime love are all lovable leo's with ego's to match - made me smile. Yikes on those surgery pics - Sheryljane and Butter's incisions look so very smooth post-op. I hope and pray that she heals well with good results. I have heard great things about Dr. Sauceda - he is one of the Dr's at the top of my list when plastics time comes for me - which I am terrified of. My big ass is most likely going to remain a big floppy rump from the sounds of things - it used to be the biggest posterior ever - now I still have bulk there but its that weird detached bulk - I KNOW you guys knew what I am talking about - like there is a little muscular person wearing a pair of footie pajama's that has fat spots in it. It is fascinating how different our bodies all are - I looked at her stats in her sig and it says 135 - I would have thought her larger - I look a wee bit smaller and outweigh her by 30 lbs or so and am probably older. Fast day on Monday was over a bit - and yesterday it was a battle with the Frango's again, but kicked my ass at the gym - have been doing Jamie Eason's Livefit program from Bodybuilding.com and like it - just need to bind my exercise schedule in stone so work and everything else does not take precedence. Have to deal with one more round of baking Christmas cookies - and the meals at Christmas...go away candy and cookies! I never even liked them all that much before - now I seem to looooove them - they go down so easy.

Fasting today - looking to keep things at 500 Why on earth we bought Frango candies at the mall this past weekend is beyond me - save me from the holiday candy monster!

I need to watch True Blood - looks sexah I almost have a hard time now with shows once a week after doing marathon catch-ups on Netflix - which is one of my family's favorite group activities I think folks mostly likely feel left out - perhaps even judged - that could certainly be true if our group name and rationale is 5:2 -I think we should simply come up with a sassy new name, and post on the vets forum regarding 5:2 topics. That is how things rolled before, and when you guys made a group I was like "hey where the heck did all the cool, smart people go!"

Excellent article! thanks for sharing it. Actually we don't need to ingest any form of carbs - the body makes what it needs from fat, Protein etc. Ketones are actually the prime fuel that the body and brain prefer. yes fruits and veggies contain a plethora of micro nutrients that we don't get elsewhere - so they are great in that respect - in terms of fuel i will take lean protein please. Not from me - from my team of nutritionists at the surgeons office. From putting this into practice over the last few years - I tend to believe them

Wow those are stunning! I can't believe how reasonably priced they are. Good shopping. I have my eye on a pair of distressed slouchy leather boots with lots of buckles - they are a bit pricey for me these days on a teachers pay at $300 - luckily I have been having good luck on Ebay. It is so much fun to buy all of the beautiful sweaters and embroidered jackets that I have always loved from J. Jill used for a fraction of the price - stuff I never could have fit into a coupe of years ago

Here is a shot of a beautiful morning this past week from the front window.

You guys are all gorgeous and look FABULOUS! yes i am yelling that out GT - we found our last two rental houses on Craigslist and they have been the best finds ever. Currently we live about 75 feet from Puget Sound in a very affordable little cottage (we wont talk about its need for insulation - but summers stay cool while winters are a bit chilly). There are many great neighborhoods here that fit the bill with fresh produce - the big, big market is downtown - real estate round those parts is either astronomical or cheap (meaning hi I am a homeless person). Fremont, Wallingford, Denny Triangle, Capitol Hill, First Hill, South lake union, Lower Queen Anne are all great neighborhoods - many have great old homes with roomate shares. A bit more about myself We are in Seattle - West Seattle specifically 49 turning 50 in 2014 - bday 10/16 go Libra! I am a college professor - adjunct undergrad in he art department at Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle - and also teach at the graduate level in the Humanities with Prescott College in Arizona - where I get to go lecture often. I know we have many artists among us - so i guess i will also add myself to that list as I have the terminal degree in the field so i guess I am qualified haha! I am a painter and digital/video installation artist who has not had a lot of time to make much - my specialty seems to be fine tuning artistic practice for the lovelies I work with, which can be very rewarding - as well as frustrating. When I complain about the stress of my work gig - it is usually because of academic/departmental politics writ large. I met my husband in a video game in the late 90's - loooong before it was cool to even talk to other people via the web. He hails from the Inland empire in southern California. We have been together, pretty much blissfully happy for almost 14 years now. He also had a sleeve - 2 weeks prior to my own. he works as a computer and electronic engineer at Boeing (working on 787 and Tanker project.) Goofy fact - I changed careers after 40. In my previous life i was a haircolorist (22 years) - worked for a good stint in NYC and had quite a few celebrity clients (David Bowie, Iman, Tatum O'Neall, Winona Ryder, lots of models, etc, etc) - have some pretty good stories from those days. Two stepdaughters - the eldest in college in N.C. - she is 20, and the younger has lived with us since she was 11 - she will be 18 on her next birthday. I could fill up your ears about the joys and pains in my asses step-kids are - I am sure you guys will hear plenty about it. If there is a heaven - there is a special lounge for step-parents there I love hearing about everyone's lives - I am glad that this forum is now private - as I would not have posted in so much detail. Looking forward to getting firmly back on the strict bandwagon after the holidays and finally getting to goal - would looooove that to happen by my 2 year surgiversary which is may 21 - we shall see!

So sorry I am so terrible at keeping up - I know i am probably viewed as an outsider, I have been so busy i don't have a lot of time online that isn't related to my job right now. I am Kelly btw We had our support group meeting today at the hospital and the talk was about Overeaters Anonymous - something I have long considered looking into - it was nice to hear how transformational those meetings have been for fellow surgery folk. Lord knows I am having a time of it now - seem to be in the grip of the carb/candy /holiday beast - soon it will be over! I was thinking that I need a lint trap for my life - I dunno why, perhaps it is due to having a lot less padding as protection (like that protected me hah!) but I come home from work utterly flayed, lacking in confidence - just feeling like I want to disappear. Was even looking at protection types of gemstones I could carry in my pockets to ward off negative energy - and increase positive ones...I know it is me - I feel like I am some hellish sponge that is absorbing all of the yucky stuff around me and making myself think that i suck (like its all about me - feels so self absorbed.) On a bright note I have been buying hideous holiday sweaters for my family - they are pretty epic - i will post a picture of us all on Christmas. GT I also live in Seattle - West Seattle specifically and I work downtown - if there is anything i can help with - please let me know. Wishing you all the very best! Kel

Hi ladies! Doing my best to keep up - As far as the post counts go I would probably tend to not make the grade as I think my reading to posting ratio is about 90>10 I mentioned it on the vets forum but I am just trying to get through the next 3 weeks without gaining all of my weight back! Good grief there is temptation at every turn - M2G your post about the sticky nuts had me cracking up - food items like that are my utter downfall - take a yummy highly nutritious, highly caloric tiny little thing and baste it in salt or sugar and I can be assured to eat 10,000 times as much as I am supposed to - thank goodness that the sleeve limits it - least nuts I find filling. Not so fluffy pastry types of things. Hearing about co-workers and dieting - I remember a gal I used to work with, she and I started Weight Watchers together years ago - and I poked along, losing weight very slowly, struggling, journaling, doing my best like most folks do - meanwhile my friend just melted, every week she would rack up losses of anywhere from 3 - 5 lbs...and I am thinking wtf! wtf is the The Biggest Loser or something? for months this went on - she trains for marathon - seems to always make healthy choices and I continue to lose at a snails pace.... Well fast forward a few years later and she has now gained all of it back and about 70 more - she confided that during our WW stint she had been purging, starving, and became obsessed with exercise to the point it was unhealthy - I felt so sad for her that things were so crazy for her and she couldn't it share with me - she only wanted to destroy me, leave me in the dust with her losses that I could never match. I love her because I understand how wacked out all of our issues with food, body images etc are - it may take me the rest of my freaking life to get to goal but I sure am glad that the issues are not as bad as they used to be when I was younger - that the sleeve has so helped with them by getting a huge chunk of the weight off so I can do the work - like meds help me do the work as well. Feed - the positive affirmation you shared for LV is incredibly beautiful - brought a tear to my eye - thank you for sharing it - I feel like I want it tattooed to the inside of my eyelids

That's rough with the eating of ingredients for planned meals - I think at our house now that if there is anything new that appears that is not in our regular weekly shopping that the youngster knows that it is probably not meant for her to eat - I act as 'the Gatekeeper" I have too because my husband and I (and both kids demonstrate similar tendencies) are addicted to food - and can easily slide into a disordered relationship with the substance - very easily at 18+ months out now. Youngster has been know to eat oh say 8-10 Greek yogurts in an afternoon after I said that she could try some of mom and dad's yogurt...it is irritating to me that I have to splain to her that she cannot eat all of them. she will do the same thing with any baked carb that enters the house if I do not hide it (these are usually for guests) I bought croissants for a brunch - and 12 croissants disappeared within the hour.... I let everyone know that such and such is for this meal/event and do not touch it - I think if it ever did get consumed by anyone after the heads up there would be very dire consequences lol. Fluff - a great resource for me are the books and workbooks by Judith S. Beck which I have mentioned in another recent thread. I have spent years in eating disorder groups, and personal therapy and the told offered in her books are some of the most helpful I have found. cognitively based to help you retrain your brain.

As far as dealing with the compulsion - keeping the house a 'safe zone' for foods is probably at the core of what has made my husband's and my own vsg surgery a success - we have a teen in the house who dropped 20 lbs. in the first year after our surgeries and was very happy with her svelte figure - what was amazing is that last summer she went to visit family back in North Carolina - and in 3 weeks she put on 23 lbs. 120 to 143...I guess it is a carb free-for-all basically at grandma's - they were buying those cheap 5 lbs. tubs of ice cream and would go through one a week, that is not including all the other goodies that were basically always on hand. This time of the year is really rough as we are hosting a football party this Sunday (go Seahawks!) and though I have veggies and hummus and salad and lean filet mignon - there are also a lot of devilish Cookies, popcorny types of things from costco as well - think those tall Harry and David tower of treats...yikes. I think my goal is to just hang on and not gain anything over the next 3 weeks lol. As far as the complaining from the teen set that there is nothing to eat - I let them know that they can go get something and eat it away from the house. If we do go to get something that we did not prepare - I journal it - usually prepare for it (I do the free meal thing one a week, seems to work well). The young one has a job location sandwiched between a McDonald's and Starbucks - and has a deep preference for anything fast, easy, that requires no effort on her part - I worry that she will get big like we did :/ - ahh well she has seen what utter lack of mindful eating, complete hedonism with one's food will do to your body - hopefully she can nip gains in the bud if they get out of hand - I hope she sees us as her cautionary tale.

<---Shares the same crazy Great post - thank you Laura! I love the tiger analogy - so true. Not true for all folks - but medication definitely helps me with in my own ongoing struggles with anxiety/ptsd and compulsive behaviors. I think I realized a few years ago that this will always be with me, and dealing with it will always be a part of me and my (and my family's) life. Sometimes I get pretty sad - wishing that it was just gone - thinking how much easier life would be... I just get worn out - its exhausting.

wow - that is nuts... lol

Figured out what my url pasting problem is - browser issue I love this site - helps to see the variety of shapes and sizes. http://www.mybodygallery.com/ And I enjoy some of these types of threads from MFP - I too am 5'3" and have about 25 lbs to goal - some good stuff here - and realistically how long it takes folks who have 30 to lose - to lose it - most seem to be in the range of 5-7 months or so. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/725214-5-4-ladies-out-there-share-you-pics-please http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/803155-5-3-5-5-females-can-you-show-me-your-transformation