I have been where you are. It is going to be okay. I too feel as though I am "the fat one". I am the biggest in my family and I hate when i get around certain members and they say..God you have gotten bigger or You need to hurry up and do something. I feel so ashamed. I am sure that your family is not harsh like mine, but I know how if feels to think that all "eyes" are on you and how much u may have possibly gained. I have isolated myself from so many social events due to my weight. My family has get togethers all the time and I will make up any and every excuse not to go. To be honest I have purposely scheduled myself for work on specail events so that I will not have to attend. That way, I wont have to feel as bad about it because I can just say "I have to work'. Make this year the last year that you allow yourself to feel this way. Cheer up. Next year around this time you will be a force to be reckoned with!!!! Go knowing that you are about to make a life change very shortly and enjoy the time that you are about to spend with them. Keep us posted on how it went. I too have not lost any pre weight. I was discouraged as well. Its okay. Everyday is a new day. It is all part of your process. You may not have lost the weight before hand, but just prepare for what is about to become. You are going to be okay. Looking to hear from you soon