donali

Hi Sarah - Definitely contact your doctor - you shouldn't be throwing up BLOOD - the stomach should not have been compromised in any way - everything done to it is on the OUTSIDE, and there should be no BLOOD inside your stomach from your surgery TO throw up. I am concerned.

Congrats, congrats!!! Whooooo hoooo! Although I'm jealous, 'cause I'm only 5'6", and now we're the same size... :cool:

SUE!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

LMAO - DeLarla, you really crack me up! I'll bet your husband has his hands full, and wishes he was more of a "gatherer" than a "hunter". :mad:

I'm a coward too... This discussion has just surfaced this week on the grad board, I think, where one of the long termers was giving the sage advice that waiting til "goal" is not always the best option, particularly when the pannus is causing problems. In her case, it was severe back pain, and even though she was a good 80 pounds from goal it was necessary to do it NOW, because it interferred with everything - exercise, her health, etc. The most recent comments are that once a person gets to "goal" they may need/want to have the TT tweaked, but I felt the argument to have the TT prior to goal in many cases very persuasive. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing! I am cowering with you, if that helps at all... :mad:

Hi Babs - I love Megan's idea - I'm sorry you don't feel it would work for you. It is hard to be attracted to someone you are angry with, and also sometimes to someone that you know "too well". The reality that many people who change partners find is that they've exchanged one set of problems/inadequacies for another. The phrase "Familiarity breeds contempt" too often can ring true, particularly when one half of a partnership goes through a life changing event, such as you have. Our minds are very susceptable creatures, and after awhile they start to believe what we tell them over and over again. I often think sometimes new romance is so heady because we tell ourselves a bizillion times a day, "I love him SO much!!!" (or is that just me?!?! lol) As the newness wears off, we stop saying "I love him SO much!!!" a bizillion times a day, so we don't have that constant reinforcement from ourselves... Then the not so heady thoughts become more constant and start reforming our brains "He left the toilet seat up AGAIN, dammit!!!" until those little irritations are almost all we hear in our heads when we think of our loved one. It sounds as though in your case you didn't really go through the "I love him SO much!!!" phase, so I don't know how much of this will speak to you. When we are actually experiencing disenchantment it is SO hard to see how much of that we really have control over - in spite of the irritating facts, we really do have control over what we focus on, and we can CHOOSE what we focus on. If you CHOOSE to fall in love with your husband, I bet you could find a way to do it. If you CHOOSE to find a way to become attracted to your husband, I bet you could find a way to do it. These feelings can be fostered - they do NOT have to spring up spontaneously to be real or sustainable. But... it is a CHOICE. And if you did choose to try and fall in love with your husband, where's the harm in that? If it doesn't work, you still have all the other options available to you. But, if it DOES work - think of all the wonderful possibilities! The family stays intact, you have 10 years of history that only you and he share together, and that can only enrich your future relationship. People can change. It is possible that your husband would try harder if he really understood how important it is to the relationship. But even if he DOESN'T change, it is still possible that you could fall in love with him - if you WANTED to. I'm not saying it's easy, or that it wouldn't take a lot of work, but new relationships would require no less. Best of luck to you - I am wishing you all the very best, whichever way you choose to go.

lol, BigDog! It's nice to know you've got the tools to get the job done! :mad: My family has always been into that primate 'grooming' thing, so I'm glad I didn't have to have any stitches/staples removed. They might of hurt themselves fighting over who got to do it... lol

You go, Sue! Congrats (in a good way!) that this is medically necessary and so no cost to you. I totally understand the reluctance/desire to do it - but it sounds like the desire/necessity is finally greater than the reluctance in your case. Pick MAY!! And take before and after photos, even if no one ever gets to see them but you. We'll be thinking of you!

I never saw any stitches on mine - just steri-strips. If there were any stitches, they were below the surface and dissolving.

Hopefully the occasions tend to be less and less the further we get on our journey, and the more accustomed we become to handling life in ways that don't involve eating. I still find I have occasions when I would definitely love to overeat (but I don't feel angry/hysterical that I can't). I wonder if that will ever go away? Glad you're feeling better! Hope the dog's okay.

And there are docs that have NO pre-op instructions/requirements whatsoever. I had no special diet prior to surgery, was told nothing but Water by mouth after 9PM the night before. I have not heard the BMI rationale in regards to pre-op diets before - I started at BMI 48. The American docs seem to be the ones who like the pre-op diet of some sort. DeLarla, it will not take you long to see that what your doc says may not be in the ballpark of what another doc says. The important thing is to follow YOUR doc's instructions, and if they go against your knowledge from what other docs request/require, you can always ask your doc "why?" You may not get a satisfactory answer, but you have the right to ask.

Hey Nikki - Congrats on the upcoming addition to your family! Having never been pregnant myself, I can't offer any advice/insight into the weight gain of pregnancy, but I can say this for sure - once your baby is born, your band will still be there to help you get the baby weight off. Your doc may even be willing to give you a slight fill even though you're pregnant if you are able to eat more than you and your baby need to be healthy. But even if not, not to worry! Trust in your band buddy, it will help you once again the day you are only eating for one. Stay positive and happy, love yourself and your new addition.

DeLarla, you crack me up! :mad: Perhaps remembering that the week of shrinking your liver will be your last diet EVER will help you stay sane enough to maintain your commitment. Think of it as a spiritual journey - meditate, burn incense, feng shui everything, try some yoga... lol Seriously (okay, I was semi-serious above), but seriously, deep down you want the very best outcome from your surgery, and the safest surgical journey possible, so when you start freaking out on your last week try and remember that you are doing this for YOU, and you are worth it!! And really, it is the very last time you will have to "diet." And although I totally understand your current bingeing mode, you will see that it was not necessary... The band journey is almost always gradual enough that you're not cut off immediately from your old habits, once your healing phase is over. And you have the choice and control over how fast your journey is. You can wait to have fills until you are emotionally ready to eat less. The miracle of the band is not so much that you HAVE to eat less, physically, but that the DRIVE to eat huge quantities of food gets tamed. At least, that was the miracle for me - that constant hunger went away. You're going to do great!!

Congrats, and welcome! No need to be worried about your soft food transition. Don't freak if you gain back some weight - it will come off again. If you're not hungry, don't force yourself to eat. If you're starving, eat what you need to stay sane. Take it slow - you don't yet know what your restriction will be like, so wait in between bites to see how things are going down. My staple during this phase was blended chili. Yum, yum. Not so good tasting once you're back on solids, but for some reason I would have killed for blended chili in the soft food stage - it was all I could think about! :mad: Be creative and get out the blender/food processor! Start practicing now not drinking with your "meals". That seems to be one of the hardest things for people to adjust to. Be gentle with yourself, enjoy the healing process. Solids are just around the corner, and then the fill adventures begin (unless you're one of the rare few who have enough restriction with an empty band.) Be good to you!!

I have certainly had the same frustration. Only twice, though, since being banded, can I say I was absolutely FURIOUS about not being able to eat... :mad: Gotta love that behaviour reinforcement. There are no "safe" words with the band! lol Have I mentioned I am eternally grateful that I do NOT have the power to adjust my band whenever I want?!?!? It may not always seem that way...

If they're delicious, that's not a good sign... lol Read the ingrediants - what's a serving size, how many calories, how much fat? Are you eating just a serving, or the whole bag? Anything is fair game, just be conscious of what and how much you're eating. If you turn this into a "snacky" item that you munch on unconsciously you could be adding a lot of unwanted calories. But I've never tried them, so can't even guess on that front.

Thanks, Guys! It seems like it's going so slowly, but then I really can't believe just 3.5 more pounds to my century mark!!! I dropped three pounds after pulling an all-nighter at work on Thursday - either it was the extra calories burned just being awake, or the numerous trips to refill my hot tea (and the subsequent trips to the ladies room after... lol). Not that I'm recommending sleep deprivation as a plateau buster... It will be soooooo swell to be under 200 - first time in at least 15 years. And then still another 15-20 pounds to weigh the same as my 5'11" BF.... sigh. Bonus, though - he told me I was "absolutely gorgeous!" during our visit a week and a half ago. And just to prove what a saint he is, he was quick to say that I have always been gorgeous, but particularly so now... :notagree So, keep on plugging away, everyone!!! Sometimes the weight just comes off when you're not looking! :mad:

Where did you get the impression that the band would work for a year without a fill? It is the rare person who can utilize the band effectively without a fill, once the healing stage is over (6 weeks minimum). You may be one of those lucky people that don't need a fill right away, but I certainly wouldn't count on it. I had four fills my first year.

14 pounds in a month is great. Please, please, please remember that the AVERAGE weightloss with the band is 1-2 pounds A WEEK - that's 8 pounds a month, average, at the high end. So you have lost almost TWICE the high average so far! This is a lifelong journey. This is forever. Yes, we all want the weight off yesterday, but we have to learn to focus on living and being healthy - the weightloss will follow. Welcome to bandland, and enjoy your trip!

Hi Kombat - Sorry for the problems you've experienced. I would imagine that a lot of your current back pain is from being somewhat immobile after your open surgery. Many people report being stiff and sore after surgery - I imagine that we are in some uncomfortable positions while we're under anesthesia, but we're asleep so we can't/don't shift our positions. Also, your surgery was probably longer than usual, since you had to be converted to open, and then the problem with your nicked spleen. As long as there are no further complications due to the surgery itself, you should be feeling better every day. Again, I would expect you to feel somewhat like hell since you had an open procedure. Once this healing phase is behind you, you will undoubtedly learn to love your band. It's certainly my best buddy! Best of luck to you, and hang in there!

Hi Ginger - At the risk of repeating myself, throwing up is NOT normal, and puts a bandster at great risk for slippage. If you're throwing up once a week for sure, and sometimes once a day, that is definitely too much. I have a feeling though that the throwing up is more due to your eating habits than being too tight - it sounds like once a week you forget and eat too fast, or don't chew well enough. However, regardless of WHY you are throwing up - you need to find a way to stop it. Either fix your behaviours, or have an unfill. Otherwise, you may lose your band altogether. JMHO.

It's 9:44am PST, and I'm in the chat room.

Hi Christine - It is very possible that you ARE physically hungry still. There is no point in beating yourself up about the funnel cake - being banded is about the rest of your life. Some days will be better than others, but MOST of the time you will do well. Particularly if you don't play games with what you can or cannot eat. As far as handling your hunger until your next fill, be sure to try out these tricks: 1. Water load. Drink as much water as fast as you can 15 minutes before you eat. 2. Do NOT drink with meals, and wait until 45 to 60 minutes after eating to resuming drinking. 3. Stay away from soft foods as much as possible. 4. Eat your Protein first. Use good whole Proteins that you have to chew - beef/chicken/pork. 5. After you eat your protein, eat as many veggies as you want. 6. Have the occasional treat when you're dying for it. Know nothing's off limits, and that it is just a choice for that moment, not forever. If you skip cake this meal, it doesn't mean you can't have it next meal if you REALLY want it. The question is, do you REALLY want it??? REALLY? Eat something more nutritious first. Then if you REALLY want it, have it! 7. If you are not physically hungry, think of other ways to spend your time. Walk, quilt, sew, read, garden, hit the gym, call a friend, write your first novel. 8. Be gentle with yourself. Pretend you are your very, very best friend. How would you talk to the most precious person in your life? Make yourself the most precious person in your life, and talk to yourself and treat yourself that way - with kindness, empathy, respect. 9. This journey requires a lot of patience. It is for life. Three years from now you'll wonder where all the weight went. Honest. Hang in there!

I keep getting "error connecting to server." Will try again later.

I have a few quick moments. Ducking into chat, 9:50am PST Thursday, 4/22/04.