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Am I Ready For This???

A blog by Hoping052017 in General

  • Entries

    22

  • Comments

    8

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    2,034

About this blog

My Journey to thin...oh right, I meant to say healthy (cause that's way more important....Right???)

Entries in this blog

Day 13....no solid food.....ugh....

So, today is 11 days post-op. I'm doing pretty well. My incisions are healing fabulously. I'm walking every day. Now, with this I should put in a disclaimer...I walk every day in bursts. LOL. I still get tired pretty easily. If I can keep my mind occupied, then I can walk for a longer time than when I'm trying to do household chores or something like that. For instance, my mom and I went to Burlington Coat Factory. That store is so much trouble! LOL I kept falling in love with all the clothes th

4 days post op

Well folks, I'm four days out of surgery. This is my 3rd day home. Things haven't been too bad. The gas was horrendous this go round though. This is the 9th laporoscopic surgery I have had in 19 years. The gas this time felt so much like the first time. It kept going into my left shoulder. At one point I thought I was having a heart attack it hurt so bad. However, with a lot of walking the halls and a lot of morphine, the pain subsided. The morphine didn't help the gas pain a whole lot, but did

Tomorrow's the day!

I can't believe it's the day before surgery! Six months has flown by. As of this morning (according to my scale) I am at 262. Today is clear liquid only and if I thought the past week of two protein shakes and one meal was hard and I was hungry all day...I woke up hungry and can't eat anything for the next two weeks or more depending on when my followup appointment is. Ugh. At least after tomorrow morning it shouldn't be too bad from what I've heard since my tummy will be so much smaller. I hope

Tomorrow's the day!

I can't believe it's the day before surgery! Six months has flown by. As of this morning (according to my scale) I am at 262. Today is clear liquid only and if I thought the past week of two protein shakes and one meal was hard and I was hungry all day...I woke up hungry and can't eat anything for the next two weeks or more depending on when my followup appointment is. Ugh. At least after tomorrow morning it shouldn't be too bad from what I've heard since my tummy will be so much smaller. I hope

The day before

I can't believe it's the day before surgery! Six months has flown by. As of this morning (according to my scale) I am at 262. Today is clear liquid only and if I thought the past week of two protein shakes and one meal was hard and I was hungry all day...I woke up hungry and can't eat anything for the next two weeks or more depending on when my followup appointment is. Ugh. At least after tomorrow morning it shouldn't be too bad from what I've heard since my tummy will be so much smaller. I hope

1 Week Away!

So, I just went for my final diet and exercise appointment April 3. I had gained 5 pounds in a month! I nearly died right there on the spot. The nurse practitioner I saw was not a happy camper and told me to be mindful and prepare in advance for trips and such. How do you prepare in advance for eating on a 4 hour one way trip?! 1.) I can't afford that much jerky!!! and 2.) The trip itself is very limited on the kinds of eating establishments along the particular route I had to take. My Nutr

Closer

So, it's been a while since I've written anything. I totally needed to get on here and do that. I actually have a whopping 22 days until my final nutrition (Diet and Exercise) appointment before the clinic sends my paperwork into Medicaid for approval and schedules my surgery!!!!! 22 days and about a week later I'll be scheduled. It's getting so much closer so much more quickly than I could possibly imagine! Got the family's bikes ordered and they should be ready by next weekend, just in time fo

New beginnings

Embarking on this journey of weighing less means a lot of things to me. It means, essentially, becoming a different person yet staying the same. It means starting a new lifestyle. It means getting healthy. It means letting go of things that are weighing me down mentally while getting rid of what's weighing me down physically. It means letting go of unrealistic ideas regarding relationships and accepting some relationships are only meant to be friendships and nothing more. It's realizing that peo

Self Conscious in V.S.

Today was a big step for me in facing my anxieties around people. I haven't enjoyed going to the mall in years. My daughter needed some new jeans and so my mom and I went to JCP because that's where her favorite jeans are sold. I had every intention of only going into JCP and getting a pair of jeans and leaving again. Well, it turned out that they were having a hum dinger of a sale. There was a $72 dress that was marked down to $1.97. No, that isn't a typo. It really was only two dollars! (I end

I think so

When I started these entries I asked the question "Am I Ready For This?" At the time, I actually didn't know. I hoped I was. I thought I was. I think I finally know I am. Exercise is a daily thing now instead of just thinking about it. I may not be doing a lot right now (I managed to walk a mile and a half today and yesterday), but I'm getting there. It depends on where I walk and what my back is feeling like, but I'm getting there.  Today my two boys and I walked an upper neighborhood near

Activity

As S Day quickly approaches, I start thinking about all the things that I'll be able to do again that I can't do now without difficulty. I can't bicycle very far anymore. I can't hike anymore without having to take a break every 10 steps it seems. I can't mountain climb because I can't lift my body up with my own legs because I weigh too much. I can't run without feeling like collapsing 10 feet from the beginning of where I start. I can't fast dance even one song without my lungs feeling like my

Psych Eval today

Psych evals are notoriously stressful things to get through  during the pre-op phase of preparation for S-Day. (Surgery Day). Today was no exception for me. Thankfully, there wasn't an appointment time. I just had to be at an office over an hour away from my clinic and home somewhere between 8am and 12pm. The lady that got things set up was really nice. She filled out a piece of paper and led me into an adjoining room next to her where there were three desks, one of which held a computer, and th

Thank yous and I'm sorrys

To say I've been in a dark and depressing mood the past few days is a mild understatement.  Okay, a major understatement! People I thought were friends haven't been there for me when I needed them the most. And perfect strangers reached out, not knowing me at all and sending words of encouragement. To those strangers, I thank you. Your kindness means the world to me.  Mostly I'm sorry I got as dark as I did. I really am trying to see someone about it, but like my "friends", they said they c

Darkness

What do you do when the darkness seems to engulf you?   February is always a really hard month for me and right now, looking out my window at the grey sky and the bare trees and remembering the good and the bad of the last 21 years, all I want to do is curl into a little, itty bitty, teeny tiny ball under my covers and hide. I want to go to that place in my mind that seems to hold me as a happy prisoner. A beautiful place that never rains, the sky are always blue with white puffy clouds (you

Superbowl munchies

So, mom and I watched the most awesome Super Bowl game I've seen in years! She was rooting for the Falcons. Therefore, I HAD to root for the Patriots. I couldn't believe they just HAD to wait until halfway through the 4th quarter to get their head in the game! But omg! To see the very first overtime in Super Bowl history and some of the insanely miraculous plays that were made was the best. Especially to be able to share it with my mom. Still can't believe they came back from a 25 point defici

Addictions

Addictions come in all sorts of forms. The most common forms of addiction people think of are drugs and alcohol. And those are both, obviously, bad. There's other addictions too though. There's addictions to soda pop, bread, pasta, cookies, cakes and other pastries, food in general. I think most people that have gotten to "OMG I have to do something about my weight or I'm going to die" have some form of food addiction. I've been realizing, albeit way too slowly, that I am addicted to sugar. I ma

Addictions

Addictions come in all sorts of forms. The most common forms of addiction people think of are drugs and alcohol. And those are both, obviously, bad. There's other addictions too though. There's addictions to soda pop, bread, pasta, cookies, cakes and other pastries, food in general. I think most people that have gotten to "OMG I have to do something about my weight or I'm going to die" have some form of food addiction. I've been realizing, albeit way too slowly, that I am addicted to sugar. I ma

Addictions

Addictions come in all sorts of forms. The most common forms of addiction people think of are drugs and alcohol. And those are both, obviously, bad. There's other addictions too though. There's addictions to soda pop, bread, pasta, cookies, cakes and other pastries, food in general. I think most people that have gotten to "OMG I have to do something about my weight or I'm going to die" have some form of food addiction. I've been realizing, albeit way too slowly, that I am addicted to sugar. I ma

Addictions

Addictions come in all sorts of forms. The most common forms of addiction people think of are drugs and alcohol. And those are both, obviously, bad. There's other addictions too though. There's addictions to soda pop, bread, pasta, cookies, cakes and other pastries, food in general. I think most people that have gotten to "OMG I have to do something about my weight or I'm going to die" have some form of food addiction. I've been realizing, albeit way too slowly, that I am addicted to sugar. I ma

Obstacles

Today was an awesome, albeit a dietetic frustration, day. Mom and I went out today. She had a couple of Dr. appointments and since she pretty much refuses to wear her prescription glasses ("I can see the big stuff" she says) I drive her around on a regular basis (much to the chagrin of my nerves).   I get home from taking the oldest to school (the boy refuses to get a drivers license!) and decide to unload some of the articles from my mom's storage locker that I've had in my trunk for the last

Today is another day

Today is cold, dreary, grey...the kind of day that would normally make me want to stay in bed and forget about the world because weather like this depresses me major. But not today. It's really hard to be depressed when the shower I took this morning was the BEST shower I have taken in over a year!!!!   Yes, the best shower in over a year. Why, you ask? What made this shower better than any other shower in the history of showers?   I didn't cry!   Yeah, I know that sounds weird, but let

Am I ready for this?!...Take 2

Am I ready for this?! ......No. ..... Yes. ..... Maybe. ....Wait. What was the question?   Am I ready for what? ... This blog that isn't a blog (in my opinion), but a journal of what is going on in this journey called life? Life itself? This weight loss surgery that I am desperately attempting to prepare for?   This blog I'm definitely not ready for, but I'm going to do it anyway because maybe by getting over some of my fears, I'll be able to conquer others and hopefully inspire other people

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