The waiting?! The patience?!

This crap is driving me nuts and I haven't really done anything yet.

I have my consultation in two weeks (I had the option to do it in a week but I thought it might be too soon and might need time to rethink this just in case I find something out in 2 weeks that I haven't found in 6 months of research ) and I have spent the last 6 hrs looking up every pre and post op lap band picture currently on the internet. i've spent at least 2 hrs analyzing people's weight loss and trying to figure out Lap band jargon like "PB."

*sigh* I'm exhausted from surfing. I can't imagine what will happen after the consultation and the wait for insurance approval.

And what about after the surgery? will i be disappointed with the results? What if it doesn't work for me? I know that the ppl who post their pictures are the successful ones. Are there equally or even more ppl that aren't successful? if so, why aren't they? Will it be me? I've failed at everything else.

I've also come to the conclusion that I have to tell my mother. She'll kill me if I don't. I think i will tell her once I have a surgery date.

I had researched the band off and on for maybe a year, then one day I submited a request for more info on one of the Mexican doctor's webpage. That same day I spoke with one of his patient coordinators, discussed financing and payments, and made an application for financing. The next week I was flying to Mexico with my mother for my surgery. After booking the surgery I spent almost every minute of every day on the web researching the band more indepth. Thankfully that is when I found this site. There was no real waiting for me, just that moment right before the anesthesiologist put me under when I was scared out of my skull. There really wasn't and waiting in my case, and I didn't have enough time to second guess or overthink my decision.

I had my first visit to the surgeon 5 weeks ago and he said yes, he'd do it but he wanted me to go to one of his information sessions and then come back to him with my final decision. It feels like its been five years, not five weeks, when I knew before I even went to see him what I wanted to do. If he puts me off again, and doesnt want to book a date until after the preop testing is all done, I'll have his balls on toast. I really resent paying for consultations when I had done the thinking, the research etc the first time I went. Three consults to book a date will be too much!

I go back on Thursday, I'm pretty sure he will book a date for me then though. I hope he's not booked up for months in advance though.

WHAT IF !! gee thats my middle name, RIGHT GUYS !!!

I've been saying that for months and I guess I'll keep saying it even after surgery.

The waiting and waiting and running to this doctor and that doctor uhhh !!! I feel burnt out too, but I know in my heart that this is a good thing. It really tests a person doesn't it. If you want it bad enuf, you'll do what you have to, to get it. Its good to surf, and its good to learn everything there is about the band, the good and especially the bad. Wearing yourself out and knowing as much as you can sure beats the crap out of going into this not knowing a thing.

I believe things happen in Gods time, not ours.

The only way you'll succeed is if you try, otherwise you'll never know.