I know this isn't "pregnancy related" but I'm hoping some of you can help me.

I can't seem to eat enough calories. I started feeling super sick and had a huge headache, which I'm still feeling, that landed me in the ER the other night. Turns out I'm not eating enough. I had the lapband surgery in Feb 2008. I got my band loosened right after getting pregnant and can't get enough in in order to have enough calories to spend on breastfeeding. My husband and I talked about going and getting the band loosened, but it means I wouldn't lose weight. I just don't know, I'm torn. What's healthier for my LO? Being breastfed or not having a 300 pound mama with high blood pressure?

I feel like the worst mother in the world. I've been practically crying non stop. It never occured to me I would even consider not breastfeeding. Every time I give LO formula to supplement (as the Dr recommended in the hospital) instead of my pumped milk, I feel as though I'm giving him poison.

First I think you're being too hard on yourself! Breast feeding is great for the baby, but formula is not harmful or bad for your baby. There's a lot of reasons people can't breastfeed, I had the same problem you did and I wasnt even banded with my first pregnancy. I had no appetite and would forget to eat.

Have you tried getting calories from Protein drinks or high calories liquids? That might be an option if you need more calories and cant eat. Another option is dont stress about your weight loss right now, just enjoy being a mom, get your band loosened and work out to maintain. Start losing weight again after your done breastfeeding if you cant while you are. I think you have to weigh whats most important to you...breastfeeding or losing weight right now? Either decision won't make you a bad or good mom...loving and caring for your baby is all they care about...Good luck!

Maybe for you, breastfeeding and losing weight quickly are not a good match, they certainly werent for me. I gained most of my weight breastfeeding, even though I didnt gain any permanent weight from pregnancies.

If you cant eat enough now, loosening your band will help with that, but then you're not going to be losing anyway.

I would try the liquid calories route, but I would NOT rely on Protein shakes - unless they are organic, non artificially sweetened and not soy based. No way would I be filling my baby with soy derivatives. smoothies made with milk and fruit would be a better option.

I personally would be happy to accept slower weight loss to continue breastfeeding - you've got your whole life to lose weight but only get one chance at feeding your baby. You may choose to cut it shorter than you would otherwise, to start focussing on yourself again, but perhaps just put the weight loss aside for six months? You'll be giving your baby your best start in life and when you look back in 20 years, THAT's what you'll value, not whether or not you lost weight in that time.

But contrary to the way the breast feeding fanatics make it sound, formula feeding your baby wont make them fat, stupid or unhealthy. What's best for your baby is usually what's best for YOU too.

Breast feeding is one of the best things you can do for your baby. The baby will get all the good things from it even if you only do it for a few months. Really the first few weeks is when they get the most important stuff. Some people have to stop early for other reasons not related to the band. Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of fluids. When I was breast feeding water was highly reccommended, but since you need more calories to stay out of the ER, fruit juice or other healthy drinks will be better.

The baby formula they have now is very good for babies. Look at how far we have come ...... when I was a baby (44 yrs ago), my mom could not breast feed.

The reccommended homemade formula was canned/condensed milk with Karo syrup and water added.

I was fortunate enough to be able to breast feed my son for 9 months (never pumped) and truly believe he has always been healthier because of it. I also believe he would be just as healthy if I had only breast fed for 4 months.

Do not beat yourself up over it. A sad, stressed, depressed mommy makes an unhappy baby. You show that you are a good mommy just by your concerns over it. Even if you only breast feed for a short time, your baby will be healthier from it.

I know you posted a while back, but I just wanted to jump in and say "breastfeeding is not the best thing you can do for your baby" :biggrin:. The best thing you can do for your baby is be a good mom. If you're losing nutrition by breastfeeding (and in turn this is harmful to you), then just don't. It sounds like the milk mafia (lol) has convinced you breastfeeding is the only way. Breastfeeding advocates made me feel like a horrible mom when I couldn't teach my daughter to latch on. As long as your baby is being fed and is healthy, that's what matters. Formula isn't poison. It is often a child's only way to survive if their moms died during childbirth, or if they can't latch on, or if their mom's milk supply is low. People are formula raised all the time and are decent people. lol.

Personally I would get emptied. I'm 26 weeks pregnant and I have already been emptied and I have lost 20 pounds since finding out I was pregnant. Having you band loosened or emptied doesn't mean your going to gain weight! Just don't go on a bender and get crazy lol. However, you have to do what is healthy for you as well. Yes breast milk is best for your baby that doesn't mean it's your babies only hope...there is nothing wrong with formula. With my son he has a g-tube and I was never able to breast feed him, but I did pump for 6 1/2 months but I also had to add formula to my breast milk to give him the right amount of calories. You have to be healthy for you and for your baby! Don't feel pressured to breastfeed...it's okay if you have to stop. It doesn't make you any less of a woman just like breast feeding doesn't make you a better mother!