so i am going to post this to make myself accountable.

i dont know what came over me today, but i have ate all day long. i have that ate myself sick feeling. god, i havent missed that!

i grazed on crappy bad slider food. the only decent thing i ate today was a fresh juicy peach.

the even weirder thing is that, even though i am mad at myself for doing it, i am not really freakin out about, thinking how i just ruined EVERY THING i have done... thats a new one for me. i am making a grocery list of good foods i need. not this slop i ate all day.

and why did i eat it? every bite i took i thought about how i shouldnt. how it was not gonna help me or make me feel full. i dont even think half of the time i was eating i was hungry. actually i KNOW i wasnt. but just kept at it. ugh, i feel like i should/could just puke.

but today is a day. just one day, and it wont defeat me. tomorrow will start a new day and i will be better.

the venting feels good. thanks!

Great outlook! Do you know what triggered this feast of yours? Depressed, lonely, bored? It would be good for you to figure it out.

Well its good to see I'm not alone...these past three days have been very rough for me too. I have overindulged not necessarily on bad food but more than I should have. Worse was chili from Steak n Shake. I had a whole cup of it and it sat in my stomach till the next day. Today I had a better day but not proud of it either. Tomorrow will be better for me. Hopefully for you too.

Have you signed up for lapband.com "The Journey"? I was banded 7/31/09 and it has been so helpful to me. I use the Food Diary every day and when you start entering what you are eating and it calculates the calories and puts it in a picture with the pie chart, it really makes me aware of what I am eating. There are several other areas on there like logging your daily activities. Hope this helps and take it one day at a time. But of course, you are a lot more experienced at this than I am so close to your goal from your ticker.

well, it was a better few days, but not great. i am doing my best to not dwell and get stuck on this little lapse i am having. this too shall pass...

mel50- i have not been to that site. i am going to check it out today. i have tried journaling my food on a couple other sites. i do good with it for a day or three, sometimes a couple weeks. then i putter off of it and dont.

i am also thinking that part of my weakness lately is coming from being this close to goal. its almost like, hey-i've come this far, time to relax. but i know i shouldnt. and cant. i am not there yet. and didnt get this close and go through the many struggles and battles to give it all up. good thing i am posting all these thoughts. i can come back and reread my motivation later today when i am draggin butt. lol.

failureisnt- i do think you are right, that i had a trigger to this. i believe it is a combo of what i said above and my husband leaving for work. he works 7 on, 7 off. only they have moved the rig 1000 miles away. the driving cuts into 3 of his days off. we had a really great days off. its like we reconnected or something. we did fun things together and with our kids. it was fantastic after months of stressing from him being laid off. there was a definite emotional pull to him leaving. but i know i cant slip back into those behaviors. yes, i had a slight backslide, but i will not let it defeat me!

I scared myself bad enough the last week that I could eat all day long too. I scheduled my first fill in 11 months to get back on track.

You can buckle down and do it I am sure.