My surgery date is just under 4 weeks away, and this is finally starting to seem real. For the last year I've never had a single doubt that this is the right step to take, and I still feel that way--in daylight hours.

And yet... Sometimes when I can't sleep unwelcome thoughts occur. For example, I haven't had any surgery in the last 19 years and the very idea of general anesthesia scares me. The picture of my abdomen being inflated by gas I will later have to expel is unappealing, to say the least. My DH has now come around, but when I started researching WLS he thought I was nuts for considering going under the knife for anything less than a life-or-death scenario.

And then there's the idea of the foreign object being implanted--permanently--inside me to regulate my intake. The whole concept is weird and even a little creepy if I let it get to me. I wonder whether I'll ever be able to forget it's there and just go about my business. The whole point of this exercise is to be normal, but will that ever be possible with a band inside me?

As eager as I am to start the journey, as the date gets closer I'm afraid these nighttime worries will get worse. I keep trying to reassure myself that compared to giving birth, laparascopic surgery is a walk in the park. (Am I right about that? Please tell me I am!) And I've been so far away from "normal" for the last 41 years that I wouldn't know it if it kicked me in the shins.

So what was your inner pep talk? Share!

I am also a band wannabe! I thought about trying 1 last diet too, then I took a good hard look at myself and said "What makes me think I'll keep the weight off this time?" I wasn't able to keep it off the last 50 diets...why did I think #51 would be different. I'm tired of the rollercoaster. I'm ready to be healthy FOR LIFE.

I also have thoughts about the surgery...but it really seems minor compared to all the other stuff I've put myself through with different diets! My body has been through the ringer with all the different diets from starvation to cabbage Soup (and everything inbetween). At least the band procedure will be monitored very closely by a competent doctor and surgical team! It will be over in a matter of hours and then I will be on my way to a new healthy lifestyle that involves healthy CONTROLLED eating and exercise! YEAH!

Marsha

Yesterday I experienced a kind of doubt that surprised me. Things have been going pretty well for me lately, and it occurred to me that if everything else is falling into place in my life wouldn't it be sort of pushing my luck to try to be *thin* also? But then I remembered that even though my job(s) may be going well and my marriage is getting better every day, the doors that have yet to open for me are numerous.

This morning is my presurgical appointment, and I go with a light heart and no more doubts and worries. Thanks, everyone, for chiming in!!

Good luck today Alexandra! Let us know what happens!

Alexandra,

We're all rooting for you!! Let us know how your appointment went.

Thanks for thinking of me! The appointment was more like a cattle-call for everyone scheduled for surgery in the next couple of weeks. I got my official "before" weight (317--shhh, don't tell anyone ) and they took my b.p., which was pretty high.

Then I sat with several other people around a table and listened to the nurse practitioner tell us to read this form, and sign here, and read this form, and sign here, and so on. There were a couple of questions from the table but I was very happy to see that we were all pretty well informed already. The NP was a little impatient, and I didn't hear a thing about support groups or any followup besides our post-op checkups, so this doesn't seem a very touchy-feely practice. As it was I only waved to the surgeon. (He and I have had all of about 5 minutes face-time through this entire process, which started last October.)

Happily all of my paperwork was in order and all my tests complete, so I just had to sign things and be on my merry way. We are, unfortunately, still waiting for Aetna to come up with a reasonable offer, but I'm fully optimistic about that. Everyone is on the same page--me, my doctors, the department of health, the department of insurance--and Aetna is out there by itself waaaay on the other end. And I have another resource to tap tomorrow. So I think my Monday or Tuesday this should be a done deal.

13 days and counting!

I can relate to your feelings and I think pre-op anxiety is entirely normal. I almost chose to have an RNY. I actually was withing four days of surgery when my fears and anxieties and reservations about the procedure took over and I listened to my gut and cancelled the surgery. Now I will be having a lap band in less than two weeks and strangely, I'm not nervous at all yet. I guess because I feel this is so much safer. But I will probably be a ball of nerves the night before.

robin i visited your sight you are so pretty!amazing job you have one.im 3 weeks preop and nervous as heck-i too have these strange and scarey thoughts but i must do this.i too have control portion size issues and with all my health issues that are related to being obese i must do this just to live!!!!my date is set for september 11-scarey surreal date huh?i will take all the comments i can cause im goiung do this i have researched for a year-got approval with no hassles and am almost ready mentally and physically for this-i lost 15 lbs in the month since i started this process so i will be fine.im just scared of throwing up.im always thristy cause of my diabetes anyway so hopefully i can still do li1quids well-good luck all and stay in touch-vam71259@aol.com victoria:)

Hi Victoria,

I am 11 days post-op. I too hate to throw up. I had read so many times that you throw up if you try to over eat that I think I under eat just to make sure that it doesn't happen to me. The trick is to stop eating when you are not hungrey any more, not to continue until you are bursting at the seems (which is what I used to do).

You learn to listen to your body and stop just when the hunger is gone. I am sure you will do just fine... it's just nerves.

Good Luck

Mary

thanks for advice mary-that is one thing i will need to work on cause i do eat fast and furious-!!!!!!