I am being banded on 6/2/09 and I have not yet discussed the surgery with my daughters (12 & 10). I always preach honesty with my girls and I want to let them know as much as I can about what is about to happen to Daddy.

My wife and I want to know the best way of telling them about the surgery, why I need the surgery and any other important issues surrounding it.

As I am new here, I had no luck with the search function. If anyone has a link to any prior threads that I can look at, or any advice, I would so appreciate it.

Alan

My daughters are 4, 7, and 12 (plus 24 and 26) and they all know. My older ones have known for quite awhile that I'm working toward the surgery. Now that it's scheduled, I've told the little ones too.

My 7 year old is chubby herself and I know she worries about her own weight. That was the part that was particularly difficult for me. I tell her we just need to be the healthiest we can be and that I love her just the way she is. I worry that she's thinking "Well, then why do YOU need this surgery?" She didn't articulate that, exactly.

I told her that once you're a grown up and you have gained SO much weight, it's much, much harder to successfully lose the weight without some help from the doctors, and that's what I'm getting is some help. I told her that if she keeps working with our family to be healthy now and all her life, hopefully she'll never have to face this same problem that Mommy is facing.

I've also told them that the experts are learning more and more about proper nutrition and what causes obesity every year. That some of what they used to think ends up being wrong and it is partially because of that bad information that so many people are struggling with obesity now. (I'm referring to the message behind the book Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes as I am a big believer in his hypothesis on nutrition and obesity, etc.)

I don't think I said TOO much. I wanted them to feel free to ask questions. My 7 year old asked the most questions. The other two were either "Cool, whatever." or "Can I watch SpongeBob?" so they didn't ask much.