today is not one of my better days. i dunno if its pms or if i am just truely loosing control. i am extreamly stressed out today and i just want Cookies and ice cream and chips.....it all started out with a "death threat"...i didn't tell my husband about this cause he would have just said, I told you so....I joined an online meeting place...MySpace.com and this guy sent me an invitation to his buddy list. So i sent him an email introducint myself..yadda yadda yadda...and today I got a message back from him, stop talking to me you stupid psycho bitch...if you talk to me again i will have my essays kill your bitch ass.....sooo i deleted the message and continued to delete my account there. i met some really nice people there, but i dont have to put up with that crap! okay he invited me to be on his buddy list, whos the psycho now? okay that was the first thing....then there were a few little things inbetween that and food shopping. i went to this store thats in the town where i live and spent 100.00 MORE than I would normally spend if I went to a shopping place out of town. i got home and my husband said...I thought you were just going to pick up a few things...I said, why go out twice to do food shopping...He said I thought you knew better....(there is that I told you so attitude).......Then he starts helping me put away the food, and I say, Im going to lay down, I am not in a good spot today and I need to go back to sleep.......He said oh what ever, I was going to lay down, but what ever. Sooo I digressed....OKAY, you go lay down. (We can't nap together, cause our son will be awake, he refuses to take naps, so when we nap we do it in shifts). After all, hes the one that works 70 hours a week at his job....(Like working in a house and taking care of our son isn't)......So he walks out of the kitchen. I asked him if he was done putting away the food and he said NO I thought you said for me to go lay down. I said never mind I will do it. He said NO NO ILL DO IT, and went in there and threw the groceries where ever they would fit. Thats fine, but dont do it with an attitude. Then he goes to lay down. Sooo now he is laying down its 4:30 in the afternoon. He is going to get a new tattoo at 6:00...he wont be home till 8:30-9:00 and I AM AGROVATED TO ALL HELL! My cousin is having a get together tonigth to break in her new pool...so maybe while he is getting his new tattoo maybe i will go for a dip at my cousins. Yea right..I will more than likely have to go with him......god forbid i am out of his sight.

I dont like today very much!!! And right now all I can do is think about food.....and I can't do it. I have come so far.....what do we do when we have days like today???

The good thing now versus pre band is you are realizing you are eating totally out of emotional stress and anguish..

Now the hard part..to not give in to stress or frustration. You are in control, no body else. ....do not let the moods, actions , words etc.. of others make you deviate from your plan and your motivation . Then they win and you lose. Screw all of those people with their attitudes, words and threats. You are a stronger person then that...Take back the control! Keep telling yourself I'm not going to binge today because of someone else's actions! I'm going to be strong and do this for me. I deserve this.

Hey you...

It is ok. We will all have bad days that we will have to deal with. Just know that Kristen and I are here for you. I have been keeping a journal lately and it really helps!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Lisa

:banana

Sorry for the sucky day. Yes, poeple on the internet are crazy, myself included. Not sure how an essay can kill someone, other than a poorly written one could probably brore you to death. ...

Go to your cousin's pool party.

You didn't say how old your son is. Too big for a playpen? When my spudboy was little he wouldn't take a nap either, but I would tell him that mommy needed a nap and that he could play in his room quitely.

70 hours a week? good grief, that's excessive, and I'm in the software industry.

Thanks everyone for the support! Goodness Lisa, didn't realize you were back in circulation yet...GOOD FOR YOU! I hope you and your sister are doing well!

Vines ~ My son is 7...going on 18. Way too big for the play pen. I liked your comment about the boring essay...but I think he was meaning essay, hommey what ever! beyond me. As far as Anthony playing in his room quietly...well, that wouldn't happen. He plays in there, but he wouldnt understand that Mommy needs a time out. He would wake me. My little guy has Downs and he is very demanding of my attention. Yea my husband does work alot, but Im not working right now. I go back to work in September...

La madam ~ You are soooo right. I give too much power to other people some times. I am the one in control of me! And again your right, I DO deserve this. I deserve to stay on tract and stay focused. I am going to clean myself up a little, I will see if my mother will watch my son for an hour and I am going out for a drive, away from people and everything and everyone! I may stop by my cousins pool party...but I dunno. But I do know I will not be stopping for ice cream, Cookies, or chips....

THANK YOU ALL SOO VERY MUCH FOR LISTENING. YOU REALLY HELPED ME FEEL BETTER!

TTYL