Hello Lower BMIers and Happy New year@!

I was banded on 12/1/08 and haven't had a fill yet. I had a tough time scheduling a Fluoroscopy and my fill center will not provide a fill until I have one.

At this point I have no restriction...except occasionally when I feel heartburn so I know I have the band. It's extremely difficult at this time as it is very cold out and I usually exercise outside. I've lost 15 lbs since banded but I'm afraid I will gain it if I don't get a fill soon. Being a lower BMIers I think we do have the luxury of taking it slow....looking down the road as a life long process.

I know it's about getting back into the mind set of living and eating healthy but now I am dealing with head issues. I feel guilty paying out of pocket and not seeing changes. I must trust tho that everything fell into place for me to get this thing and I worked incredibly hard to become BAnded so there will be results but patience is the word to focus on now.

I am turning 50 in March and I feel somewhat like I'm about the birth a new me....going through extreme birthing pains now but I have faith in the process. It's not so much a new physical me that is blossoming but a saner more spiritual me (I hope) who won't escape into food or need to hide or fight with life anymore.

Blessings to all in 2009.

Jenn we wish you well with your journey. Sounds like you have enough going on. I know I was kind of in the same boat as you with my BMI somewhere around 37 when I started on my journey. I was under the BMI of 35 by the time I had my surgery.

Right now my body is in starvation mode so I haven't been losing lbs but been losing inches for sure. Just went to Dots to buy some more clothes.

Anything you all need us to answer we'll try but I think the self examination is a good place to start, I know why I eat, I get on the I hate myself and why not binge. What I want to figure out is why I get like that. I truly sometimes just loathe everything around me... but always me. So, I guess I have work to do.

How is everyone doing?

I'm 2 weeks away from my surgery on 4/21! I've gotten of the fear for the most part. I'm actually just very excited.

Is there anyone who feels totally lost in the 6 month waiting period. I feel like I am becoming obsesed with research and counting down the weeks. I feel like a overstuffed pillow. I cannot explain how I feel. I looked at a picture of myself and could not believe how I look. I am very cute in the face, but WOW...I am fat...fat...fat! I let myself go. food...my friend...foe! I had to go shopping yesterday. None of my clothes fit from last summer. I really was depressed yesterday...I stuffed myself into an XL and 16W pants. I had to wear my Jobst compression tights to fit into my pants and could not breath all day. This process has made me do a self analysis..Why do I eat so much? How do I succeed after sugery? If food is not my friend...who or what will fill the void? I feel like this 6 months is a blessing and a curse! I want to be happy!

I felt the very same way. Once you decide you want the surgery then you want it right now. The 6 mo's. took forever, but it did give me plenty of time to research and start dealing with my food issues. It would have been nicer if I could have actually lost weight during the 6 mo's. so I could have delt with the food issues and head hunger even more, but I do feel really prepared now. Just a few more weeks! Keep doing the self-analysis. I found just asking myself "am I hungry" when I caught myself going for food or standing in front of the fridge has helped a lot.

Band 75: When I read your post I felt like someone found my posts from months ago and posted my writing! I felt exactely like you. Now almost 5 months after surgery I can say with confidence that it isn't as bad as you think ...NOTHING is as bad as how you feel now. The easy part is not being able to stuff my face when I'm bored, tired, stressed, ect. I too was worried about the "void" but you'll see you will find other things to do besides eat ...and one of the best things is to LIVE without obessessing about being overweight! It's so freeing and I love the energy I have now and I haven't been this happy in years! Sometimes but not often, I feel slightly frustrating that I can't or don't want to eat like I used to...but it quickly fades when I go shopping and clothes now fits me or my 16 fit looose and I know it will only get better. I too was obessed about research for over 2 yrs! I used to be on this site 5 times a day now I go on maybe once a month...I'm too busy enjoying my life. You will too!

Thanks Sooverit and Band_Groupie for the words of encourgement. I am scheduled for my third dietician appt Monday. I am going to talk to her about what I am going through. It's wierd...I am becoming slightly neurotic. All I think about is food and I don't know why. I know part of the problem is that I use food to help/cope with everything. I eat when I am happy, sad, depressed, bored...I just eat! Wow...This site is cyber therapy. I know after July I will have to fill my life with more than Red Lobster and cupcakes and it scares me. Is my life that empty that I only have so much food to make me happy? I am sitting here almost in tears. I ate way too much when I got home from work... I feel sick, but keep doing it and don't know why. I am a very organized persoon and look for the sensibility in things, so why can't I help myself? I watched a show on TLC about people who weigh 600+ lbs and thought...HOW? I got on the scale the following morning and I had gained 3lbs.

band- I hope your appointment went well today. Don't beat yourself up so much about the food obsession...we all have it. I think if we're honest with ourselved then most of us are frightened of 'what will happen when I can't turn to food anymore?' We've all turned to food for one reason or another and suddenly we won't have that anymore. I really believe all this self-reflection will help later on so that we are aware and can have a plan. You hear so much about 'transfer addiction'...those that don't have food and suddenly turn to something else to fill that void; I think they are the ones who never took the time to work this through. I think the planning is to make sure that your new addiction/obsession will be something positive instead of something negative...plan to start something new; exercise, family time, a new hobby, take a class...whatever it is I think you have to plan this as part of the whole lifestyle change. The initial comfort and peace (yes, followed by self-loathing and disgust) that comes from our food addiction has to be found in other things. I'm writing a daily blog to help myself and I've found it cathartic, I'm stepping up the exercise (maybe I can get addicted to that...LOL, not likely, but maybe), and I plan to start painting again...planning things that make you feel good is critical I think. Anyway, enough of my babble...hope your meeting went well. -BG

Things went well today! These monthly WLS appts seem to be a formality for the insurance co. We don't talk about much...just a very brief overview on what we need to succeed post-op. I write like I am the only person who feels this way, but my health is changing so quickly and I am scared that if I don't do well I will not be here to raise my daughter. It all seems so simple...stop eating like a football player! I am trying to monitor what and how much I am eating. I did not get seconds at dinner this evening, but I keep thinking about the ham in the fridge. Band_Groupie, I'll keep you in my prayers on 04/22/09! Your outlook is positive and I am certain that you will meet you goal.

Hi all, was banded last week and I have to say that 3-4 days post-op I sent my best friend a text that said " OMG, WHAT DID I DO? I GAVE UP MY FAVORITE ACTIVITY.....EATING!! WHAT WAS I THINKING?!"

she promptly sent me one back saying, "what are you bored? or crazy?? I'm gonna save your text and in a few months when you are prancing around in your bathing suit without a cover up, im gonna show it to you"

lol, i had to laugh, because it's true...... I have to remember food WAS NEVER MY FRIEND!!!!

I love it food WAS NEVER MY FRIEND. I found that this band really is working. I was supposed to have a fill yesterday. I am still losing so the Dr. said I didn't need one, and I was happy about that. I had such a bad 2 weeks, and I didn't turn to food for it. I am going to tell you what happened, not because I want sympathy but to explain how powerful an unfilled band is on me.

Two weeks ago, both my husband and I lost our fathers 3 days apart. I will admit at my father's service, I ate things I shouldn't have eaten. I just ate so little of them, that I was ok. I didn't turn to food to get through the grief. I did adopt a new dog that needs walking though. Much better, and he is soooooo cute. You probably think, why now would I adopt a dog? Well just before my father went, I had been down to visit him and he just lit up whenever someone brought a dog. I have been thinking of getting another dog for a while now. I went to the SPCA to see what they had as they are around the corner from my house and there was my little guy just sitting there, waiting for me. Here's a video:

Anyways... I am pleased as punch that I have my band now despite the havoc that the liquid diet has done and the lingering effects of that, I now understand why people say they wouldn't trade their band for anything. My scars are healing nicely and I got this stuff called kelo-cote to put on them, makes em soft and shrinking. I have had to buy a new wardrobe. Went from 18-20 to size 8 so far.

Maybe I am not losing fast but I'll take the 7 or so pounds i have lost in the last 3 weeks.

I am just starting my journey to get banded. My first seminar is tomorrow morning, my appt with Sleep Doctor is Monday and my appointment with Primary Care Physician is May 7th. I am boarderline 35BMI so I have been eating everything in sight to gain a few pounds before I see the PCP. This is my first appointment with her (physical) and I've never met her before--was without PCP for this whole time. I am curious as far as what do I say to her. Any ideas? I have been writing thoughts as to my "whys" and "reasons" for doing this and my weight history. I plan to use that in talking to her, but if you all have any ideas...please let me know.

Miniband- So sorry for your loss, and the dog is adorable!

Jazzy- Your doc can't say no (if they do you need a new PCP), and if you've done your research then they should be supportive. Just tell them why you will qualify and why you thinkk you're a good candidate. Read HERE. It will make you feel better.

BG!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! That's GREAT!!! I feel the same way right now!!!!

Hi Everyone-

Band I am sorry to hear about your father and father in law. Be strong and know that the group is here if you need to vent.

I went to my 2nd appointment today and weighed in at 226. This is a bad thing because I gained weight, but good because my bmi is moving up. Ins. requires 3 visits with the doc and my last visit is on May 21st. I need to make sure that all my ducks are in a row before they submit my info to insurance. Does anyone know what I need to have so that I can def. get an approval? I have Aetna Ins.

Beth - I have to lose about the same amount and live in socal, where were you banded?

Hello to all you low BMI's.

I have had my band for alomst 6 months and agree with band groupies outlook on diet and life. I followed my dr's intruction during the liquid/mushy stage but after that you have to figure it out yourself. I do not cut food groups out unless my band cant cope with them. If i want bread then i will eat half a sandwich just not the 8 slices of toast with butter and Peanut Butter i would before.

I am 25 i still go out with my friends and get drunk like any other 25 year old, i will not deny myself things that normal people do because i think you have just carried on with your obsession.