Next week I'm heading out to San Diego to see my brother. We have always had a problematic relationship; he's just a year older than I but is one of those delayed-maturity types who still thinks fart jokes are hilarious. Nothing makes him happier than pushing my buttons, and the only way we're still friends is that 3000 miles separates us.

We have not seen one another in 5 years, just because we both have small children and scheduling (and affording) cross-continental trips is hard. I said to him on the phone that now that I'm coming, as much as I'm looking forward to seeing him, I don't want the five days to be one long aggravating conversation (in other words, I mean, don't be yourself).

His response was: "Well, you're not fat anymore, right? So I'll have to come up with new ways to tease you." Great.

Anyway, you get the idea. When we see one another a major underpinning of our relationship will have changed. I've sent him photos but even I think they don't tell the whole story. He's going to be really rocked by the change in my shape. It will be interesting to see what his response is, and I'm actually a bit nervous about it.

First of all have a safe and fun trip. There are lots to do in San Diego. Make sure you go to the zoo, that was one of my favorite places down there….and the beaches!!!

There’s always that one family character that just doesn’t get it, life is too short to be playing games, yet we love them and even expect some crap.

I'd love to see his face when he first see's you.

I am real bad at comebacks and wish I had more wit.

Last year when Billy’s sister came out I told Bill I don’t think I can take her complaining about her cottage cheese legs when she’s a size 4. Well, we got along really good and after she left I was saying to Bill how she was very pleasant. He said he talked to her when he picked her up from the airport….

Have a good trip

Hey, if he wants to talk farting, tell him about the "medically necessary farting" that came with band surgery! Make sure you have a VERY somber face on when you do.

He sounds to me like a typical doo doo headed brother. Mine is like that too. He's a dumb @ss but he's MY dumb @ss brother and so I deal.

Good luck and enjoy! Savor the moment that he'll be speechless when he first sees you. Don't expect it to last long tho, he'll recover and find something new to pick on. It's what big brothers do.

Also, you said he has kids? Tell his kids "Heeeey, have I got some stories to tell YOU about your dad!" I had to endure my brother in June and THAT line shut him up REAL good. He whispered to me "hey, you know...there are some things Mom doesn't need to hear...so watch it". I gave him an evil smirk and that was all it took.

I am getting excited about going, once I can get over the guilt of leaving my kids behind. It just wasn't in the cards to bring them ($$$$$$$) so I'm going alone. Vera, I LOVE the SD zoo, have been there several times. It'll be so weird having no one but myself to please, but I'm sure I can manage.

Also, you said he has kids? Tell his kids "Heeeey, have I got some stories to tell YOU about your dad!" I had to endure my brother in June and THAT line shut him up REAL good. He whispered to me "hey, you know...there are some things Mom doesn't need to hear...so watch it". I gave him an evil smirk and that was all it took.

PERFECT!! What a great, great idea, Karen!! Ohhhh, baby, you've got me thinking up some great old memories now...