I know it probably sounds silly but I'm really quite sad lately. I'm down 43 pounds now and I should be really happy about that. But a part of me won't let me truly celebrate this as I can't share it with my mom. She passed away unexpectedly in December. Three months before having my surgery. It's strange to not be able to share the important things in my world with her. This in particular she would have been so happy about. I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her and it's like a slap in the face when I realize I can't do that. Anyway, thanks for letting me express my little pitty party with everyone.

You are not alone. I lost my mom 2.5 years ago and I also miss sharing my joys and sorrows. My faith gives me strength and helps fill the void.

I think you've earned the right to feel a bit sorry for yourself. I'm sorry your mother isn't with you anymore here on this earth, but I'm willing to bet that if you had that special relationship only mothers and daughters share you know that she is with you every step of the way. I have that sort of relationship with my 24 year old daughter. We talk multiple times a day and share most everything. With this particular thing (lap band) she isn't overly interested in my day to day troubles and worries. She experienced almost losing me 4 years ago and was against any "surgery" for me at all. I'm sitting here feeling a bit sorry for myself because I don't have anyone to tell my fears and worries to. So, we'll just have to count on each other. That's what this site is all about I think. Hope you have better days to come and remember that your mother is sharing this with you in her own special way now.... Take care......... Julie

Don't worry, it's not a pity party. We all know and have faced death in the families and it's a constant mental battle throughout life dealing and accepting it both with our loved ones and ourselves. I am sorry she is not here, and I wish I had more faith at this period in my life, but this life is just too powerful to cancel out the thought that her spirit 'knows' somehow and is helping you through it and is so proud of you. And...as are we :thumbup: Congratulations.

I have similar feelings and my mother died ten years ago. I know she would have really been proud of me and thrilled for my success. It's okay to be sad about that. But it's also important to move forward and enjoy the amazing success we are having.

Your wound of losing her is so fresh, though, you're bound to still need a while. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hello C... I am sorry to hear about your mother. Mine passed away 12 yrs ago this month.. my dad 1 yr ago this past April. But I still talk to them. I tell them things that are going on. I tell them they won't know who I am when I meet them again! LOL. But I know they are with me spiritually. It makes things better for me.

Thank you all for your support. It is good to know that their are others who do know how I feel. It has been a tough year all around a actually a tough couple of years. I lost my dad two years ago and my only sister a month after that. it's strange to have so many around you but still feel very alone. I understand that is a very normal part of the grieving process (I'm an expert at it by now). Again, thanks for the kind words and thoughts. I'm so glad I found this site so I have others to go through this journey with me :thumbup:

C. Sorry to hear you really have had a rough couple of years! Your so young to. But come and post all you need to. We are here for you.