The message was a little to long and emotional.

Edited August 24, 200818 yr by gritar

Wow it took me a while to decipher that post!

I would say that your emotional issues and your food issues are not neccesarily linked, they more provide cover for each other. You need to treat them as seperate issues otherwise you will always be able to blame a fail in one area on something that happened in the other.

I had/have a lot of issues but I learnt with time that they arent why I ate too much, I ate too much because I bloody love food! It gives me pleasure, it relaxes me it provides all sorts of nice yummy feelings whether I am happy or sad. It is true to say that when I am feeling sad I am more likely to reach for food, but I had to learn to seperate the feelings and deal with them.

I think that you need to deal with the emotions that you have rattling around inside of you because until you do that you wont be happy whether you are far or thin.

You say that you hide behind your fat, but does being overweight help you in any way? Do yuo mean that you use it as an excuse? I mean as a reason for why you feel bad about yourself? If that is the case you already know that the feelings/emotions that you have go waaay deeper than how you look, so in a way ,yes, you will still be unhappy once you lose weight unless you look at the REAL reason that you dont like yourself.

Dont give up on therapy, you have to find the RIGHT therapist,one that works for someone else may not necessarily work for you, but until you unravel the knots that you have in your psyche you will struggle to feel content.

Should you get a Lapband? I dont know hon, if you think that you will deliberatly sabotage yourself then it will be a rocky road for you, lapbands are notoriously easy to cheat......

I guess what I am saying is that you should do a 2 pronged attack on this and sort out the emotional side at the same time.

One thing that I will say is that I feel a damn sight better about myself when I look in the mirror now than I did a year ago! Shallow I know but true!

I wish I were there to give you a hug...you seem like you could really use one right now! Please know that this post comes from a place of genuine concern for you.

I really encourage you to find a good counselor that you feel comfortable with. You need to learn to love yourself...I've definitely had to do this too. I have had two different times in my life when I sought help from a counselor. I don't think there is anything wrong with it...I'm actually very proud that I've done that, because it was doing something for me! I went to one of those counselors for my pre-op psych eval, and she was perfect b/c she has actually had GB. She gets it! It's been 5+ months since surgery for me, and I decided to make an appointment with her again. It was last week, and it was really good to talk through some of my band struggles and how that impacts ME as a person.

I'm concerned about you having the band before you are ready for it because it is so easy to self sabotage. If you go through all of the pain of surgery, you want to be ready for it. That includes being ready mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I wish you the best as you go down this journey! It is more than just about the weight loss for some of us!

Man...wow....and bless your heart

what happened? i really wanted to read this post...are you okay?

gritar, We all need to vent sometimes. This is a great outlet to do it. We all have our down moments...this is a very emotional journey.