Hi Everyone!!

Ok, so I have been dating a lot lately and have a question for you all. I have met someone I really like and am shy of my lap band scars on my stomach. He does not know I had the surgery and I am not sure if I want to share that with him yet. What do you do? Has anyone else has this issue? What do you say when he sees your scars? Any guidance would be so helpful.

Tanya

Thank you guys for the advice. It is so helpful. I love the candle light idea as well. It is romantic and forgiving. Your comments have made me feel so much better.

~Hugs~

Sherry...the candles must have worked if you are a Mom to twins!! LOL

I am a mom to twins too but I didn't birth them...(my huband's kids)

Anyway, I dated as a Big Beautiful Girl in my late 20's and 30's....I was not even that heavy...about 190 - 220...compared to my starting point here...311...anyway...

I still dated a ton...no pun intended....so, the point is...be who you are and if they don't like it then kick 'em to the curb!

I remember this one guy who was very into me...and then one day said he just never thought he would date a larger girl...ok, so I'm thinking why did you ask me out...like as a freak experiment?...

Anyhoo, I told him he was entitled to his opinion and if he felt that way, go...I was not desperate for a date....Well, long story short...about 6 months later he calls me up and says how he missed me and Blah Blah Blah...I told him I was engaged...which I was!...he was shocked..."yes billy boy, fat girls get engaged!"

Sorry about calling myself that but you get what I mean???

I have to admit, his call made my day!!! OK so here is the funny part....about ten years later I'm out to eat with my husband and who should I run into? YEP, him...and he was with a date who looked like my twin! Hmmm....

Good Luck with the dating and be picky because you are you...thick or thin...your lifestyle has most likely changed so find someone that is compatable with the healthy lifestyle....

I am hoping to start dating again eventually; I have just assumed that if I have more than a few dates with someone, the story of my surgery is going to be a part of a conversation at some point, and it would definitely have come up as part of the "getting to know you" process before I'd be at the point where I"m ready to let them see my body. My weight struggles and the surgery are just a part of who I am..... But I also don't want that to define me, so I wouldn't blurt it out right away while someone is forming their first impression of me.

I'm older though, and people my age just expect that by now you've gone through some ups and downs, including physically (at least I hope they do). So maybe it's a little different for me than for someone in their 20's or 30's.

Gah..... I haven't dated in so long, I'm not really going to know what the heck I'm doing! I'm scared! LOL

This was such a cute response...thanks....it has been so helpful.