BBW Romance.

I saw a banner ad for this type of service today whist visiting my favorite low carb support forum, lowcarb.ca.

Before I start, I will say that I have a wicked hair up my ass today, and I am having a bad day, so forgive this blathering.

BBW…

The ‘Big Beautiful Woman’ thing makes my SKIN CRAWL. Hey, here’s an idea, fuck you. Don’t call me a BBW, I am not a BBW, I am a WOMAN. Don’t tell me that I am ‘Big, and Beautiful’. Tell me that I am beautiful without qualifying the fact that I am overweight.

It makes me want to SCREAM when a man who is not overweight feels like he gets to pat himself on the shoulder for dating a woman who IS overweight. Like they’ve earned brownie points or something. I’ve heard men say all sorts of hideous things like ‘She’s fat, but I’m taking one for the team’, or the infamous ‘She’s got such a pretty face’ line.

Please, stop fucking condescending me, for the love of God.

Stop trying to segregate me from the rest of the world because I have a weight issue. Stop trying to compartmentalize me and tell me that I should only date a man who would traditionally want to be with an overweight woman. If you love a woman her circumstances should disappear, including her weight.

-A

Maybe I am sounding like I have a huge chip on my sholder, and I probably do.

My point really was that its not fair to hold something over someones head. I've had debates that have lasted into the wee hours when men and women start talking about 'slightly damamged 'people' and how you 'should date someone who has something wrong with them because they wont ever leave you'. The whole train of thought is disgusting to me.

Being overweight doesnt have to define you as a person, if I were to subscribe to a dating service online I would not select BBW as a way to describe myself. I would describe myself as someone who was smart, and witty, educated, funny, driven, and by the way, I happen to be overweight. I will not tell men, or women, for that matter that I have had WLS, not because I am trying to hide it, but because I dont want to be bothered by their constant questioning about it.

I was curious, and looked up all sorts of dating websites, there are a million of them out there. Daters with Sexually transmitted disease, daters for alternative lifestyles, shit, there is even a dating site for people who eat 60% or more raw foods. Its incredible.

There is someone for every someone, and I believe that to be true, my someone will be a man who understands who I am, and knows ALL of me, and will not feel the need to define my body shape before he defines anything else.

-A

Angelica.. but that is the same as someone who describes themselves as 'tall blonde hair blue eyes'. They don't avoid all that and say "witty, charming, funny", etc. Just a description that sounds better than fat. You could omit it, but honestly it's not like they wouldn't notice when they meet.. and as it's been pointed out, not everyone can find overweight attractive. You can't hold that against someone, I would never in my life be able to stay with a guy under 5'10. I am 6'0, and I've met wonderful good guys.. I tried to date a guy who was 5'6, and he was awesome.. but I could not get over the height thing, and ya know.. that's me. And if I met him in an online ad, and he omits he's short for a guy, I'd find it misleading.. not because his height identifies him, but it does describe him.

Well said Fairy.

I have a friend who refuses to date women who weigh more than him and he's 120. He gets grumpy when he meets women who are chubby IRL, but have told him they're 110, or even 100 pounds. He's not a jerk, and he wouldn't date an overweight person to just "take one for the team", either. He just has a thing about his size because he's small.

I have a thing about my size because I'm big and want someone larger than me. I'd never date him and he'd never date me, even though we're great friends in real life. It would be a waste of our time to desribe ourselves (online) as different than what we are - both in physically and personality. I wouldn't describe myself as quiet and timid - because I'm not.

I was curious, and looked up all sorts of dating websites, there are a million of them out there. Daters with Sexually transmitted disease, daters for alternative lifestyles, shit, there is even a dating site for people who eat 60% or more raw foods. Its incredible.

This is why I have no problem with a site for BBW dating. If you are a BBW and you want to date people who think that's awesome, then BBW Romance is going to work for you. It's targeted towards people who want to date you vs. a generic dating site which isn't targeted to anyone and therefore 90% of the people on it aren't interested in 90% of other people on it.

This is why I have no problem with a site for BBW dating. If you are a BBW and you want to date people who think that's awesome, then BBW Romance is going to work for you. It's targeted towards people who want to date you vs. a generic dating site which isn't targeted to anyone and therefore 90% of the people on it aren't interested in 90% of other people on it.

well put.

In my dating community size isn't quite the issue it is in other dating pools, but I would think that BBW, especially on the internet, is a way for someone to weed out people who wouldn't like them anyway. It seems like such a waste of time for you to get to know someone onlline, go throught the phone thing, then finally meet and find out that he can't stand any kind of weight on a woman. It's a description. It just kinda sucks to tell someone your fat in anyway wheter its. I'm a fat ass, I'm a BBW, I'm pleasantly plump. The people who wouldn't care one way or the other because you are a cool person...well, then thats who you want to date anyway right? Why waste your time and the time of the guy who isn't attracted to people if they don't look like a movie star.

I was on a BBW website because I was tired of meeting men who said I was "beautiful, intelligent, funny, etc, etc.....BUT...I dont like overweight women." Fair enough, I'm not attracted to overweight men either. I liked the website because the men are there because they LOVE big beautiful women. They WANT to be with a larger woman, and it really took a lot of the pressure off. You dont have to worry about "how am I going to tell him?" If you are on the site, it is assumed that either you are a BBW or you are attracted to BBW's. Men on those sites want to date you because you are BBW, not in spite of it. To them, its like hitting the jackpot. It would be like me finding a website thats full of dark, handsome, rich men (is there such a site???????:rolleyes2:)