Ug. I first should preface this by saying I LOVE my mom. But I'm so annoyed every once in awhile.

My mom has an unknown neurological condition that has affected her ability to walk, her moods, and various other things. I am one of her primary caretakers, so I spend a lot of time taking her places, cooking for her and my dad, cleaning their house and what not.

We went to the grocery store today. We go to the same store every Tuesday, so we see the same people. They're all very kind and helpful to my mom in her wheelchair. I find most people are annoyed that she is in a wheelchair and they cut her off or brush by her, or stand in front of her in the aisle when she's trying to look at something in the store, so I'm particularly grateful for these kind people. We were checking out and my mom was watching the prices. My mom started yelling at our checkout lady saying "How can you charge these kinds of prices? Don't you feel ashamed to work here and steal money from people?!" And on and on. I got on my mom and said, "Mom, she doesn't control the prices... if you have a concern about the prices, let's go home and write a letter to send to the company." The poor girl said, "I know they're high, I guess because gas prices have gone up so have groceries too." My mom said "That's just the lies they tell you... blah blah blah"

I'm just annoyed that a perfectly pleasant trip to the store turned into a bad situation. I told mom once we got out of the store that all she did was make that lady's day worse. My mom is not a mean person, but her neurological condition makes her mood change from pleasant to angry in moments. I work a full time job and have a disastrous 4 day schedule so I can spend my 5th business day with my mom, along with weekends and evenings. I hate my job, but I stay because they allow me that flexibility to take care of my mom... but when I have days like this, it makes me want to scream! I guess I'm just frustrated because I take care of mom, work full time, and have a household and a husband to take care of.

I feel guilty for being upset with her. I feel bad that I'm feeling like I make a huge sacrifice for her and she doesn't even care. I know she's my mom and has made tons of sacrifices for me too, but my mom has been sick all my life and it makes me feel like I never really had a mom!

Okay, that's all. :smile2:

Thanks for your support everyone.It really does mean a lot.

Had the sale starting today. It went well. Sold a lot of junk but no furniture. A guy might even be interested in the house. that would be

great!

I have been so busy I haven't even had a chance to use the pool here. I have an appointment with a trainer at the gym I use here so I will soon be letting out some frustrations!

I'm glad the sale went well, maybe you can donate the furniture to charity and use it as a tax write off which is what we did or possibly the people who buy the house will take the furniture. Anyway try to get some relaxation out of it you deserve it, brandyII!!!

Estate sales tend to fair (fare?) best on Saturday's. How long is your going on for?

We held a garage sale last year, I'm amazed at the things people will buy!

I had found a lady in the yellow pages that does estate sales when I was here in Feb. Then when I called her and told her my daughter had her baby and I was ready to come back, she said she was going to be out of town this particular weekend, so she couldn't help me.

She said around here they do them thrus. fri. and sat. since so many people in this neighborhood are retired.

I just put the furniture on Craig's list. A fellow bandster I met while I was here suggested that, and it was a big help. I didn't realize so many people check Craig's list for garage/moving sales.

I am having dinner tomorrow with another fellow bandster, so I will be

getting to have some time to myself. I didn't realize there were so many bandsters in my dad's neighborhood, but I check the Arizona thread and have met some extremely nice people.

You are amazing! You have made a TON of sacrifices and I think that is really something. You have every right to be frustrated at times but as a caregiver you lay the guilt on yourself too. You need to pat yourself on the back and allow yourself the right to be tired and or irritated when it happens.

My husband and I are caregivers for both his mother and mine (they both live with us) this is not my post so I won't go on and on about my situation but I do know and understand that if you do not allow yourself a break and not be your own worst critic the road becomes longer, darker and the bumps turn into POT HOLES!!!!

You my dear are really something special <takes hat off to you>

Well, today was another day with mom. She was in a much better mood which made it easier on both of us! I've set up a counseling appt. I know she feels alone in her disability... angry at everyone for not understanding. Maybe a psychologist can help us.

We had a pleasant day- spent time in her garden, organized the kitchen, listened to some old school country. My mom used to sing all the time and for the first time in maybe 18 years, I heard her sing again. She started crying at one of the songs (because it reminded her of her dad, who passed several years ago- she has still not healed) but it was a good cry I think- one that helped release some of her pain.

You guys have been so supportive, thank you. I never imagined how painful it can be to care for a parent. I cry because I feel my mom's pain and I don't want her to feel pain, physically or emotionally. I don't know what I'll do when I have a kid! :cursing:

Have a great evening!

Ditto my comment up there Mrsflipflops you really are something special and I wish you the best of luck!

Mrsflipflops, the world is a better place with you in it.

You have to vent, and you have every right to be frustrated and whole lot of other feelings too. Your mom is lucky to have you and in all truth you are damn lucky to have her, as difficult as life is. So buck up and keep being the perfect daughter. Years from now when you no longer have your mom you will have no regrets, you might have a guilt pang here and there that you were human every so often, but you will know that you have done the right thing. Also take a lot of pictures of your parents. The age as fast as our newborns become teenagers and before we know it days have slipped into weeks, months and years. And finally and I think most importantly remember that you are young and have a great life ahead of you. Balance is essentail - goog luck

Hey girl, you are all doing a great job with your Mom.

I have been a nurse for 24 years and I haven't seen many "children" take care of their parents like you are doing or, like my own mother did. Mom too has a very busy work life, she works at Colgate university in NY. She is one of 11 children yet, Mom was the one who did all the extra for Grandma, ( shopping, doctor appts. going out for dinner, feeding...) After a long day my mother would sometimes tell me that she ended up feeling short with Grandma and then feel guilty. I would tell Mom that Grandma knows how fortunate she is to have a daughter that has that much love for her.My Grandmother died two years ago with many of us by her side, holding her. So many times...still, I hear from different aunts that they wish they had done more with her and had the memories that my mother now has.

I do have a concern for you though sweetie. I hope that you are putting aside time for yourself to do whatever you would like, movies, manicure... as long as it is for YOU. Other wise you will be getting burned out, (also not good for weight loss). I know that top quality care for your Mom is paramount, it is for you too, you deserve at least that much. If finding someone to take over for your time now and then is a problem you could check into different agencies in your area for an aid to come out for some respite care. Medicare will pay for x number of hours as long as the doctor sets it up.

In any way, Please just take care of yourself , enjoy life and your precious Mom.