Hi All, I was just reading the Inbox in the latest slimming & health mag , and the star letter winner was someone saying that an inspirational slimmer featured in one issue should not have been in the mag because she had lapband surgery to lose all her weight, also saying that she was a cheater. I myself have a band and am dam proud of it. I tried every diet/pill that you can think off, yeh I lost weight but when you stop taking it up goes the weight and some. It really made me angry that this inconsiderate person thinks we are cheats, what she dosent understand is we still have to work hard to shift the weight, we dont just miraculously wake up the next day slim (now that would be a dream and not a bad thing,and I think even miss inconsiderate would have the band put in then). When ever someone comments on my weight loss I proudly tell them that I got a secret weapon called a lapband, Im not ashamed of it , in fact Ive had other people ask for the surgeons name. Anyway sorry to dump my anger like this, but has anyone else had this reaction from other people when they know you have a band, do any of you feel like a cheat.

dms

I have decided not to tell many people because I told someone once thinking they would be on my side and happy I was taking charge and i got pretty much the same reaction, "all you have to do is stop eating and exercise blah blah blah" if only they knew the battles I have had with myself in the past. I am not yet banded (19 march) but I know its only going to be the first step and it wont all come easy. Anyone who has taken this step is a hero in my book for stepping out of the comfort zone and asking for help so they can help themselves to have a full and healthy life.

My sister in law called me a cheater too, when I told her I had the lap band done.

Now let's be realistic here....I've been on every diet pill known to man since my parents put me on them at age 12. :biggrin: You know, the pills that people took and died from taking, the pills the company made that people are sueing because of physical damages caused by the pills? And the list goes on and on....

The band is teaching me how to eat like a "normal" person should eat. I'm learning I perfer quality foods rather than quanity.

How can this be cheating????

I get very angry when I see this type of attitude.

starting wgt. 225 1-07

current wgt. 149 1-08

dms

these are the people who call us "lazy cos they dont do anything about their weight" and "cheats cos they got a lapband". any normal person can see that these two statements are contradictory... what do they want? well, what they really want is for us to be as unhappy as they are.

yes it's frustrating, but you are the one who has lost weight and improved your life. dont give people like this a second thought cos i guarantee if you jumped through every hoop they requested and did it "the right way" (ie THEIR way) they would still find something to be unhappy about~!

what matters is you made a great decision for yourself and had the courage to follow through. No one here thinks it's the easy way out... we all know better.

but even if it was... so bloody what??? that letter writer is just one miserable person!

t

Maybe you should write in to this magazine and explain the real story and the challenges faced by these so called "cheaters"

I haven't had this happen to me in person, but I belong to the Biggest Loser Community Forum, and they condemn anyone who has a band as a loser and a cheat. they don't consider the contestants to be cheats though - 3months in a house with no work, no kids, no bills etc to worry about, a personal trainer, meals planned for them etc - of course this isn't cheating, but a band, the inability to eat some foods, small portions, exercise etc is!!!

I just ignore anyone who says the band is cheating - when they have walked in my shoes they can comment - anyway my self respect, and the respect and support of true friends is more important to me.

Danna

Those comments make me laugh at this point. I know how hard this is even banded. This isn't a moral issue where one method is superior to another, it's a medical issue.

I am so sick of hearing I took the easy way out I could scream! :biggrin: I have not told anyone at work and plan to keep it that way. Some of my family members can not wrap their minds around my surgery no matter how I explain it to them. Sorry they even know. I knew going into this is was not a quick fix. I struggle every day with my food addiction. I count calories and exercise. It is not easy, and further more I did not cheat! Wow I feel better just typing that. Hang in there some how we will all get through this.

JP

If only they knew the truth. I am lucky because the people around me don't feel that way. If anything they are supportive and interested in what stage I am at. They now know all the ins and outs of banding.

Oh Lisah25's back!!! :biggrin:

I don't say this lightly, but anyone who refers to lapbanders collectively as cheaters, or even as "taking the easy way out" is an idiot. Period. There isn't even any debating that one, because it's someone yapping out of their pie holes without having a clue what they're talking about, and if you aren't informed on something, you should probably keep your mouth shut about it.

Once after a fill that sent me over the edge, I spent 8 hours unable to pass my own saliva. I had to ask a girl at work I didn't know that well for a ride to my surgeon's office. En route, she could not go more than about 4 minutes without having to pull over so I could yak out the door. Thank goodness she was not a sympathy puker. I had been in severe pain the entire time, and had pretty much yakked myself to exhaustion. A surgeon without band experience had to do my unfill, which took between 10 - 15 minutes, left me significantly bruised and, for about 4 days after, feeling like someone had punted me in the got with a steel-toed boot. I would LOVE to find ANYONE willing to look me in the eye and tell me that was cheating, or "the easy way out." Just one person.

Is weightloss less valid because you achieve it with surgical or manual assistance? Do you have to sweat off every calorie at the gym, or eat only lettuce, for it to mean something? What's valid and what is not? At what point does the fact that you lost weight outweigh the means you took to get it? About 10 years ago there was a lady on TV who lost something like 200 lbs on a strict diet of popcorn and Bud Light. Is her loss more valid than ours? This whole idea is preposterous.

Oh Lisah25's back!!! :cool2:

I am - I missed you all and got over feeling guilty that I haven't lost like I wanted to and came back! :biggrin:

I don't say this lightly, but anyone who refers to lapbanders collectively as cheaters, or even as "taking the easy way out" is an idiot. Period. There isn't even any debating that one, because it's someone yapping out of their pie holes without having a clue what they're talking about, and if you aren't informed on something, you should probably keep your mouth shut about it.

Once after a fill that sent me over the edge, I spent 8 hours unable to pass my own saliva. I had to ask a girl at work I didn't know that well for a ride to my surgeon's office. En route, she could not go more than about 4 minutes without having to pull over so I could yak out the door. Thank goodness she was not a sympathy puker. I had been in severe pain the entire time, and had pretty much yakked myself to exhaustion. A surgeon without band experience had to do my unfill, which took between 10 - 15 minutes, left me significantly bruised and, for about 4 days after, feeling like someone had punted me in the got with a steel-toed boot. I would LOVE to find ANYONE willing to look me in the eye and tell me that was cheating, or "the easy way out." Just one person.

Is weightloss less valid because you achieve it with surgical or manual assistance? Do you have to sweat off every calorie at the gym, or eat only lettuce, for it to mean something? What's valid and what is not? At what point does the fact that you lost weight outweigh the means you took to get it? About 10 years ago there was a lady on TV who lost something like 200 lbs on a strict diet of popcorn and Bud Light. Is her loss more valid than ours? This whole idea is preposterous.

Bravo - you said what I was thinking (again!)

My body doesn't care how I lose the weight, it only cares that the fat is GONE. In the long run, that's all that matters...

We have an old family joke:

ME: "I've lost ten lbs!"

My husband: "It's not lost, it's just misplaced. You'll find it again." :wink2:

That's no longer true, and he's forbidden from ever using that line again.

Well, we know and they don't know, and we know that they don't know how it feels to be totally hopeless and helpless.

Apart from my husband, NO ONE knows, not my work, no kids, no mother, no family, no friends - no one.

I was so glad I happened to mention this to my surgeon as an afterthought just prior to leaving after my pre-op visit. He said that there was some prejudice in general and that it might cause negative feedback. I was feeling so damned scared of what I was undertaking, and I get anxiety attacks anyway, so I decided to say nothing.

I am sad to say, I have never read single thing that has made be wish I was "more open". This is my body, my decision and I am grateful for the support of my husband. I feel so judged due to weight anyway, that another load I couldn't support. The fact i have to "diet", like I have for 40 years, means to me I made the right choice, and its my business.

I just hope it becomes publicly acceptable, as it is not only reducing future load on the health system, both physically and mentally, but its giving us a life to be getting on with.

A lapband is a tool to help achieve optimum health and prevent early death or chronic disease. The fact that it's put in surgically is beside the point. In many ways it is comparable to a pacemaker - also put in surgically and also used to prevent early death or chronic disease. The kind of weight we are talking about is not just your average "I've put on a few pounds over Christmas". Our weight issues are serious and life limiting. I think a lot of people cannot or will not accept that chronic obesity is an illness in itself.

All of us need to stay strong and simply focus on our goals. We need to stop worrying what others think of us and sort out the way we feel about ourselves.

I told everyone when I got my band,and I wish that I had told no one. Donna

Like most of you i have not told many people and don't plan to for quite some time partly because of the "cheating' aspect but also because I don't want the pressure of people looking at me and expecting the weight to drop off etc.

I am happy that i was banded as it is the first time in my life that I have lost this amount of weight and honestly believe I will not put it back on as have in the past.

However i wonder if the "cheating" aspect sometimes comes from our own reactions to getting banded. I have found many people who do see the band not as a quick fix but as a means to stop eating. I read about people who can't wait for their first fill so they wont be hungry etc. Others who will eat the wrong foods but thats okay I'm not eating much because I have the band

But I think as we progress along the banding journey we find that it is not a fix but a tool just like the treadmill, diet pills, shakes weight watchers etc . It is not easy it is hard work and we have to work along with it.

Maybe we should not be so down on those who think of banding as cheating but explain to them just how hard work being banded is and the problems etc that we experience so that we can change their opinion and maybe we would not be so hesitant in telling others.

Wonder what others think

Take care

jane