This is what one of my friends, who is also teaching non-majors' introductory biology at my university, just sent me:

Thought you guys might appreciate a finals week bio100 story...

So, because I hate myself, I made part of my bio100 final a take home essay. They were to take a side on natural selection vs. intelligent design and make an argument, using outside sources, which needed to be academic/scientific. The highlights thus far:

One person apparently thinks intelligent design is when parents choose what their children will look like before they're born.

One person is a 'young earth' proponent - who explained dinosaurs thus:

Reptiles continue growing throughout their life. Today alligators live about 40 years so they get about 20 feet long. But before the flood, everything lived longer, so alligators lived maybe 900 years and grew huge - and those are dinosaurs.

And one person just said screw the instructions and wrote an essay on cloning.

If nothing else, I'm being entertained.

Wait? What?

Was she serious?!

Wait? What?

Was she serious?!

YEP. Scary, huh? :heh: :faint:

Just think Laurend someday your going to teach their KIDS!

My friend just sent me another email:

I almost forgot another gem.

The one who did a cloning essay, said that if we were clones we'd all be the same and nobody would be able to resist Martian viruses that come to Earth on asteroids. AND, she cited a source for that information.

Just think Laurend someday your going to teach their KIDS!

Don't remind me, please! :phanvan :rain:

Just think Laurend someday your going to teach their KIDS!

LOL...your work will be cut out for you won't it?? rotfl...

Martians and alien viruses, how do you cite that??

lol...so glad I am a Sociology major...lol....

HAHAHAH

I am so sorry, but does nayone else wonder how in the heck do these kids get in college? :confused:I love the alligator idea...ever wonder how a flood, which btw alligatos LOVE could shorten thier lifespan? hmm..alien viruses from asteroids..well thank god I got a biohazard suit for next time one of those asteroids comes down in my front yard..hate to get the Venus flu or a cold from Pluto..maybe even the ring of death from saturns rings!...

As horrible as this sounds I can beat this..I was sitting at home one day watching animal planet on this episode over whales. My little sister is sitting on the couch..she is also in school right now, howI have no idea but anyways, she turns to me and asks "Tiff do whales breathe?" I sit there trying to make sense of her question. Is she asking me how they have the lung capacity to hold thier breath for so long, is she wondering how thier lungs can hold air as they dive deep where the pressure increases...then i realize..shes actually asking me if they breathe..air. "Yes Brea, being mammals, they use oxygen, and they fill thier lungs up with it, much like we do". Her reply" O, well I figured they looked so much like fish that they had those slits in thier head (I assume she meant gills)." I actually let it slip out..I can't help myself.."Moron"..to which she replys "Well how am I supposed to know they are mammals..and that all mammals are the same. Reptiles and fish breathe Water, whales might too"..I honestly got sick and left..too many things wrong in her last statement to correct..Thank god shes pretty though because she will never be married for her intelligence!:embarassed:

HAHAHAH

I am so sorry, but does nayone else wonder how in the heck do these kids get in college? :confused:I love the alligator idea...ever wonder how a flood, which btw alligatos LOVE could shorten thier lifespan? hmm..alien viruses from asteroids..well thank god I got a biohazard suit for next time one of those asteroids comes down in my front yard..hate to get the Venus flu or a cold from Pluto..maybe even the ring of death from saturns rings!...

As horrible as this sounds I can beat this..I was sitting at home one day watching animal planet on this episode over whales. My little sister is sitting on the couch..she is also in school right now, howI have no idea but anyways, she turns to me and asks "Tiff do whales breathe?" I sit there trying to make sense of her question. Is she asking me how they have the lung capacity to hold thier breath for so long, is she wondering how thier lungs can hold air as they dive deep where the pressure increases...then i realize..shes actually asking me if they breathe..air. "Yes Brea, being mammals, they use oxygen, and they fill thier lungs up with it, much like we do". Her reply" O, well I figured they looked so much like fish that they had those slits in thier head (I assume she meant gills)." I actually let it slip out..I can't help myself.."Moron"..to which she replys "Well how am I supposed to know they are mammals..and that all mammals are the same. Reptiles and fish breathe Water, whales might too"..I honestly got sick and left..too many things wrong in her last statement to correct..Thank god shes pretty though because she will never be married for her intelligence!:embarassed:

Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. I'm always thinking, "What the FUCK? How the hell did you get accepted to college?"

LMAO at your sister!

Being in science education myself, I SO totally feel your pain! Look at it this way--I've heard you can add years to your life by laughing often! There's your silver lining!

Maybe you can thank your students for prolonging your life! LOL! They won't have any idea how goofy you think their answers are...

Thanks for the laugh!

Q. What did the one alligator say to another alligator?

A. When I grow up I'm going to be a dinasour. Looks like this rain ios never going to stop, oh well I'm a freaking alligator so this flood won't affect me. I'm an alligator/dinasour who lives in the water, Hey look at that funny boat with all the animals. Why don't we follow it and eat some of them when it finds dry land.