Hi all, my name is Kristi, Im 29 from Texas. I was banded back in April, and I am soooo depressed right now. Infact, im past depressed. I dont want to bore any of you...but at this point, im sickened by the fact that I have gone through so much, and have lost so little.

I am sad mostly due to the fact that there was a young woman who had the surgery 2 weeks before me, and she has lost 103 lbs, and yet, ive only lost a mere...oh my god. I just stopped typing to see how much I actually DID weigh, Im at 298!!!! under 300 lbs!!! Im crying again!!! This entire time I thought I hadnt lost, the battery in my scale has been down...and yet. I have been losing this entire time, just not as fast as the other woman.

I have made poor choices. I dont eat hardly anything, I eat nothing infact, or I throw up. Ive GOT to get back on track, Ive got to eat healthy....I just need a buddy, obviously I cant do this alone, or Id be 100 lbs lighter too!!!

I have to get backt o the basics. but its been so long I have forgotten what they all are. I have a terrible back. (2 herniated discs) this is the reasoning behind not exercising near the amount id like due to the pain with each step I take. I have literally laid on the couch or in the bed with a heating pad on my back, taking pain pills etc. BUT IM TIRED OF LIVING THAT LIFE. I have got to get healthy for myself, for my son. My baby boy deserves to have a happy, healthy mom. A mama who doesnt base her life on whether or not she has pain pills so she can make it through the day. Im tired of hurting when I wake up in the morning. Im tired of feeling 50 when Im not even 30.

Please, help me, someone who has the time to take this journey with me. I have to get back on track. I have lost, but I have to start exercising, starting tomorrow...first thing in the morning. If I cant eat during the day, I must have a shake or something...I cant starve myself anymore. Or eat Ice cream, and starches simply because they go down easier. My band is perfectly adjusted...I just have to get back to basics...Ive been overweight my entire life, I dont want to live the rest of my life the same way....

Thanks for listening...

Kristi

NurseWiggins07@aol.com

Hi Kristi

I know that there are so many changes we bandsters have to make. I have been forced to make most of them, through the restriction I have. I just CANT overeat, or gobble anything. My challenge is keeping liquid, non nutritional, calories at bay. Often, I don't feel like eating, either, and force myself to make a protein shake. Somehow, you need to not compare yourself, and you have to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and eat/drink what you need to. I know that higher protein, and consistency with it help us lose weight. Do you have any other support at home? I know you can do it! You can make it, you were strong enough to get banded, and you are strong enough to get healthy

Kristi,

You are not alone with your struggles with the band. We all have our own "little" things that make us depressed and drag us down. You can get through this. I, too, compare myself to other banders, but we have to try to stop doing that. Everyone is different and everyone's body is different. For example, just last week I saw a womans profile that was very similiar to mine. She currently weighs one more pound than me and she said that she wears a size 12 pants. How could that be, I thought. I weight one pound less and I'm in a 16/18. What in the world is going on? Then...after about a day or so...I realized that we all have different body types, different shapes, sizes, heights, etc. I cannot focus on her great accomplishments...I need to concentrate on myself. I have come a long way and I have a long way to go. We can do this!!! It's a journey that we signed up for when we went to the doctor and said that we wanted the lap band. Every ounce lost is an accomplishment. I can't imagine what my weight might be right now if I didn't get the band. It was a steady climb up and it never went down. food was running my life and for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I'm in control. I love the saying "Thin feels better than food tastes". Although I'm not thin (yet)...I am smaller than I was and I'm starting to feel good about myself. I notice that I hold my head up higher than before. I am actually enjoying shopping for clothes. All of these things I dreaded before. I didn't buy clothes because nothing would fit and I would settle for anything that I could get on, no matter how ugly it was. Now I have a variety...I feel like I have a choice in what I buy.

I too have a bad back. I just had x-rays on Friday and I go back to my doctor this Friday to try to figure out what is wrong. It's painful, but I try to find exercises that aren't uncomfortable. It's difficult, but I manage. One thing that I found enjoyable that didn't hurt me was Water aerobics. Prior to going to my first class I thought that I just crawl into a hole because I had to put on a bathing suit. Much to my surprise, the class was filled with woman of all shapes, sizes and ages. I felt like I really fit in. Everyone was so nice and nobody judged. It was great. You should look into something like that.

Kristi---pick your chin up...face the evil of food!!! I will be your buddy...I will help you in any way that I can. I'm no expert by any means, but I know how to be a friend and if that's what you need... I am here for you!!!

Longin2bethin--where in TX are you? Maybe we can call or get together for support.

Hey there! Thanks so much for the support. It felt great knowing there is someone out there who actually took the time to listen. Im not sure if I should just write down everything I eat/drink...you know, go back to journaling, or what. I feel because I dont eat much at one sitting, I am constantly grazing...you know, like a dang cow....just eating a little bit all day.

This morning started out different, I did manage to drink a boost. It was the only thing that I had...Infact, I was given many cases of it. They have 240 cal. I figured if I have 2 during the day, some fruit or something for Snacks...and then a balanced meal Id be doing ok....? right???? BTW, I dont even remember how many cal. we need to take in. ugggh. I cant remember anything. I need to find my bible....the booklet my MD gave me when I was banded.

For BIGBABY-Im in North Zulch, near Bryan/College Station area. lived there all my life. Id love to have a buddy I could meet up with.

MUMof2Boys--The quote "Thin feels better than any food tastes". You are absolutely right, Ive just got to think that way again. Someteims I just say to hell with it, Im just always going to be fat....and yet I realize thats just the easy way out. GRRRRRRR. lol

Want2bMeAgain-Thank you for the post, you are right, I have made it this far, I will continue to lose. I CAN do this. My husband is a wonderful man, but he too has put on a lot of weight since we married. He makes up his mind to lose, and then the next thing I know hes eating junk, or drinking cokes....??? Hes lost 60 lbs in the past, I KNOW that he can do it...its just will he??? Ive bought healthy stuff, which to me, seems to be more expensive...he will eat it up in one day, and it just gets under my skin. Ill buy a loaf of whole wheat bread for example...which would last me a month...he will eat it up in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So yes and no. He loves me, and wants me to be healthy, and happy, etc. But hes not doing this with me to make things easier. ??

Again, thanks for the support, BTW my email is NurseWiggins78@aol.com

NOT nursewiggins07!!! hehehe. keep in touch! *HUGS* you all made my day, and I really mean that.

Kristi :)