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Seriously considering it

I've been reading up on the gastric banding procedure for about a year and really thinking hard about it. I just discovered today that my insurance will actually cover it, so now I'm kind of sweating bullets that it's a real option...

I put it like that because I think I really am a food addict. Every time I think of what my life could maybe be like, instead of thinking about shopping for clothes in any and every store I want, I immediately think of what I'd have to give up. My brain starts panicking and making up excuses for why I can't live without 20 oz tea lattes with tapioca pearls, and thinking about not being able to fully participate in family functions.

Luckily, I've been through this exact experience before when I quit drinking 8 years ago so I know it means I'm probably close to the point of no return on this. I don't drink, I don't smoke, so food has been my "thing." What am I going to do if I can't eat for comfort?

Also, I know this is a weird question, but happens when you get the stomach flu?? Is there enough room for the emergency exit? And also, with eating so much less, do you all even poop regularly? Sorry if I'm vulgar, but I'm dreadfully curious.:)

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Hey, I think it's great that you are considering the band and are thinking through all the possible changes you will go through. If you quit drinking and that was a problem, you can do this, too! It is a change, but you adjust to it over time. Yes, you poop...your body adjusts to everything! Have you considered seeing a counselor to talk about these issues...or a support group for lapbanders...even just on this site to talk about your concerns and work it out for yourself? That might be a good idea! I look at it like this: we are all food addicts or wouldn't be here in Band Land! You learn to find new ways to comfort yourself and you DO participate in family events...it's just different. Keep reading lots of different threads on this site and lots of your questions will be answered! Good luck!

Hey Riotgrrl,

I remember being there. I had LB surgery on 8/30/07. Once my insurance was approved I remember think Ohh S**T, this is real! I'm really going to do this. It's scary. I thought about the possibilities of what could go wrong and Lord forbid if I should die what would happen to my children. I prayed hard on this. This is not a decision to be made lightly. You need to talk with a couselor and go to an information session and ask these same questions. Ask questions until you are comfortable. I was not healthy so I had to take off the weight or my children would have been motherless sooner anyway. 3 1/2 months later, I have more energy, I feel better, I sleep better and my kids can tell the diference. Looking back, it was the best decision for me. I am so much more in control. Good luck with your decision. (BTW, you poop, you vomit, your body adjusts.)

Val

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That's reassuring. I do need some counseling on this, my husband is NO help--in fact we've been arguing all night since I brought it up. I tried to get him to understand how I feel by asking him to imagine being just HUNGRY ALL the damn TIME, and trying to fight against being hungry every day for 15 years (since I was 18 and started really gaining weight). I told him that every time I give in and eat until I'm satisfied I gain weight. Instead of trying to put himself in my place, he told me to DRINK WATER. And then he told me to get outside and run (currently below zero wind chill and icy walkways). OHHHHH, dang, why didn't I think of that?!

I believe myself to be on the right track here since I've been trying to lose weight the healthy way all this time, but I always lose my motivation and I gain back what little I did lose plus another five/ten/fifteen due in part to my baked goods habit. Or is it my cheezy poof addiction?

I had the same fears as you. Food has been my friend since my awkwardness began in 5th grade. It was what I could ALWAYS turn to when I felt stressed or rejected in this life. One thing my therapist said was to find new coping mechanisms BEFORE you get to the point of panicking as to what to do. So I came up with a couple of things I could do to get my mind off of things if something came up that I couldn't handle. I have also started a couple of hobbies to keep me engaged when I'm "bored" so that I don't feel the urge to eat.

I'm 3 weeks post-op and I thought by now that I would be just DYING for my old friends, sugar and carbs. Not really. I might see or smell something and think, "Wow, that would be yummy." But it doesn't CONTROL me like I used to. I got the band exactly one week before Thanksgiving. So I was on liquid puree when the holiday rolled around. I'll be getting my first fill 4 days before Christmas. Somebody in my buddy group said something that really struck me - I don't want my life to revolve around food anymore. That is so true. I'm EXCITED that I don't have to gain 10-20 lbs over the holiday just because everybody else is obsessed with food. It just doesn't work for me. I want to look forward to the holidays for something other than food...there is so much more there. There's spending time with family, the smells (you don't have to eat anything fattening...the smell is very satisfying!), the presents, the lights, the music. Food is not all there is to life. I want to start LIVING all year 'round. Who cares if I don't get to gorge myself like other people. I don't have to feel that guilt after I do it, either. I feel HEALTHY and the scale is moving downwards during the holidays! That is a spectacular feeling!

As for the flu...if you are violently vomiting, they can do an unfill. There is enough room for some to come out, but heaving against a tight band isn't a good thing - it can cause slippage. So if that were to happen, just call your doctor and he/she can help you out with that.

As for pooping...LOL. I'm eating less than 800 calories per day and my system is working just fine. Where do you think that fat goes that I'm burning for energy? :)

  • Author

That's great input. I know I must find a new coping strategy. When I was young I used to take long walks to get away from my houseful of family stress--until I started drinking anyway. I've already been trying new things at work: to keep me from nodding off at my computer I've been drinking hot tea instead of eating, granted I'm still putting honey in it.

I'm still going over all the angles in my mind of what I know I won't be able to do anymore. I woke up this morning thinking "no more Werther's, damn!" I realize at least that I have to do all the work and a band is just a tool. I used to thing surgery was cheating because in the end, you have to eat less and exercise, so why don't people just do that in the first place, and that was my plan. When I tried for the very first time to restrict my food intake to 1400 calories a day, I thought I was going to go INSANE from hunger, so now I get it.

I've had some success with just restricting calories, I lost 16 pounds and kept it off for about 10 months, but then my Grandma got sick and it was an emotional roller coaster because she nearly died a few times and I was getting a lot of heat from my mom to go to the hospital EVERY day. So I just stopped keeping track, and gained back 7 pounds. When I saw it on the scale I started bawling, I felt like a big fat failure.

I have had ENOUGH of this. And I think having a little help will make losing weight less like trying to climb a greased pole.

Riotgrrl, Your husband sounds like mine did when I first brought it up with him. He later acknowledged that he was afraid that something would happen to me or that I would lose weight and leave him. He would not go to an information session so it was difficult to get him to understand what I was feeling. He said I just needed to get out and run and exercise, drink water or just don't eat! I wanted to smack him!

I left an article in the bathroom that i found about Muhammad Ali's daughter who had the surgery. He read it. Then I left some other information about the procedure. He read that also. He finally came to me and said if this is what I want, he would support it. I told him I want to be healthy and here when our kids have kids and we are rocking in rockers! He has been wonderful since the surgery.

Be patient with your hubby, give him inofrmation and tel him why you are considering it. What is the benefit for him? I won't be graphic but less weight, more energy, more variety!

Good luck to you!

val

  • Author

He's warming up to the idea, and he wants to go with me for the consult, which I've not made an appointment for yet. I think he was thinking it would be like a total bypass, very high risk. That makes the decision easier if I don't have to fight against my spouse. I think he'd prefer that I develop super human will and do it on my own, but he wants me to be healthy so there's a good chance he'll go along with it.

Riot,

If your husband is willing to go to the consult he will be convinced. :P My DH was banded 2 years ago. I will be on the 18th of this month.

As for food issues, my DH eats just about everything. But he's aware that since he's eating less he has to eat better. So he eats good first. Protien, veggies, and fruit. He still has small amounts of "junk" food. I said the other day, I guess I'll never have another big mac (not that that was ever a favorite food). He said, why not? You'll only be able to eat a few bites and then you'll wonder why you wanted it.

I am in agreement with Val. Maybe your husband is afraid you will get skinny and fine and leave him. Shhesshhh, men! Sometimes they are so afraid of change. It is good that he is comming around though. As an extra measure.....this is kinda X rated....tell him of all the different positions your new leaner more flexible body will be able to do in the bedroom and how much more willing you'd be to actually perform them after you are more confident and comfortable with yourself! That was the icing on the cake for my hubby! He totally supported me after I threw that little tidbit in!! <wink,wink>

  • Author

Yeah, he's getting there ever so slowly. I am going to an info class on Thurs on WLS, which I guess is the 1st step to getting a consult...but unfortunately hubby is working his 2nd job that night.

So I keep talking like I AM going to do it, and he's not so static-y about it. But he keeps pushing back about, "Let's just get a treadmill and wait six months." Why?? DO I really need to go through another hopelessly defeated stage after I lose my motivation from no results--again? Let's just get this show on the road.

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