You know how skinny girls look in the mirror and say "I'm so fat!" Well, I have that, too. Only mine is backwards. I take a shower, fix my hair all nice, put on makeup and even lipstick, a nice shirt and my standard black elastic waist wide leg pants from the big girls section and look in the bathroom mirror and go, "Wow! I look pretty good! Maybe I will never be on the cover of a magazine, I'm kinda plain, but I look pretty, tall, not skinny but not that fat...not bad!" Woohoo! I'm feeling good, I'm out the door, and then I get the picture back from that day and think, "Who is she?" Whatever happened to the girl I saw in the mirror that day? What was I thinking? I am so fat. It's true. I'm not ashamed, just realistic, at least when I see the photo and go back to the mirror just to see if it's true, and it is. How does this happen? This week, I am making my fat photo album. I have a stack of pictures that noone else is allowed to see of me, and I will dig them out from wherever they are buried in the closet under the stairs and put them in chronological order and have them handy for my reality checks, when the Body Dysmorphic thing kicks in and I think I can eat this or that and get away with it...well, I can't. Anyone else suffer from this Disorder?

Hi,

Dredging up this old thread as I was searching for BDD threads. I was chatting with Mom today and told her that I really don't see any difference in myself, even with 75 pounds lost.

...A couple weeks ago, my doctor showed me the photo taken when I started this whole process. He was very happy with my progress and wanted me to see the changes. Frankly, I believed that I looked exactly the same...

So anyway, Mom goes and gets the digital camera and takes a picture of my face. I still saw the big cheeks and dimples, but when I really distanced myself from the fact that THIS IS ME, I could see that my face is thinner. I have only one chin and it's definitely a different shape. That sort of amazed me.

So while I still think my body is large (perhaps larger than it actually even is) I've accepted that my chin is thinner. That's a start, right?

Bec

I switch back and forth, about 70% of the time I still see myself as 460-480 pounds in the mirror. then sometimes when I am not expecting it I get a surprise! like "Holy Crap! I have collarbones!" or "hey, these grooves in my stomach didn't use to be there..."

I get this problem too but I'm not entirely convinced it is ALL in our heads. I've even gone so far as to take pics on my digital cam of myself in the bathroom mirror, then compare it to the person I see and the pic is ALWAYS 10x more awful than the reality. There is a difference! However, I do accept that a lot of is head space - some of us see ourselves as heavier than we are, some of us as lighter.

I wonder how well that correlates to whether or not one has been heavy all their lives. It seems that most of the people who have posted about seeing themselves as fatter than they are (especially after losing the weight) were heavy from an early stage, whereas those who gained the weight as adults have trouble seeing it.

I was slim up until around 30 and then ballooned very quickly (and stayed fat for the next 15 years despite innumerable efforts to lose it). Consequently, I have a clear memory of myself as slim and can often convince myself that I don't look "that" bad.

I've been in denial about just how huge I have gotten for years and years. When I look in the mirror, I instinctively hold my head at the right angle to minimise the double (triple!) chin effect. I make sure my body is angled correctly to show the "best" side of me. I still have a waist (albeit MUCH larger than before), my boobs are enormous and my butt isn't huge. I carry most of my weight in my tummy, which sticks out like I'm 9 months pregnant, my arms and my back. I am thicker front to back than from side to side. All that means that, if I wear the right clothes and stand at the right angle to the mirror, I see the waist and boobs and not the fat and think I look fine. Then that horrid camera will catch a side on view of me, with my gut sticking out, rolls of back fat and the chins wobbling in all their glory and there she is! That fat heifer has grabbed the photo pic again and where was the girl I saw in the mirror? :confused: