Hello...

I need a little encouragement. My boyfriend and I broke up recently, and as I'm such the emotional eater, I have benn indulging more than I should. I have done really well thus far - I have lost 26 lbs since getting banded last December 20th. But dealing with a break-up has been challenging, and I turn to food. Can anyone provide a little advice or encouragement?

Thanks..

Kibuluna

Hi Kibuluna -

So sorry about your break-up. As rough as these times are, invariably we look back and think "That's one of the best things that happened to me." because we end up in a much better place, with someone who is much better for us... But until we get to that point, it does so really SUCK.

In the meantime... Of course there is no magic "cure" for the heart-hungry eating. I wish I could tell you there is. But now that you have recognized that's what you're doing, and you have acknowledged that you want to STOP doing it, you can at least move on to the part that isn't as easy, and isn't necessarily any fun.

You have to do something ELSE besides eat. Boy, I know, "Why didn't I think of that?!?!" The trick, of course, is HOW do you do something else besides eat?!?!

Here's the trick - you HAVE to get distracted by something else. When you're turning to food, say, "Wait a minute. I know I'm not hungry - I'm just depressed. So... Instead of eating RIGHT THIS MINUTE, first I'm going to check my email, and write to that good friend I've been meaning to get back to. And then, while I'm there, might as well check the lotto numbers. Shit. Didn't win again. Hmmm... Maybe I should balance my checkbook. Oh, I have an extra $5.00 - wonder if Mom would like to go to a movie with me. Hey Mom! What 'cha doing? Really? I'm just hanging out, thinking about going to a movie. Wanna? Oh you need to run some errands first? Sure, I'll go. See you in a few minutes..."

See what happened? You forgot all about what you were GOING to do before you distracted yourself. Walk the dog, call a friend, check out the sales at the mall.

Good luck!!

Hey Kibuluna, you are in a sucky place right now, and boy, I think broken hearts hurt worse than broken bones. But like Donali said, you will get better and then you will be able to do the "nya-nya thing" with your fingers waggling in your ears... The best revenge is living well, and you are definately starting down that path.

When I'm in danger of really blowing through the food (unless I get into some corn...) I try to do something that is a bit messy and keep my hands engaged. It is hard to eat when you have paint or clay or SOMETHING else in/on your hands. It isn't always practle go excersize, especially in the cold winter evenings, so you might pick up a new art project. You might go paint your bedroom, or strip an old piece of furniture if you have the space.

As hard as it is..Don't let any man sabatoge you. Yes most of us eat for emotional reasons..but there is a better way to look at it..Don't give in to temptation of food and get your butt in gear and make that man regret the day he ever broke it off with you..You show him!! You can do this , like the others said.get something to keep your hands busy even if it means coming here and posting and reading..I find this place helps when I want to eat. I come back here into my room away from the kitchen and log on to LBT, soon my mind is preoccupied from the food cravings..Hang in there

Everyone's given great advice about distracting yourself. How about taking an old picture of your ex and gluing it to a punching bag for an upper-body workout? Also, remember that if you do give in to emotional eating, it doesn't mean you're a failure or a bad person, just human. Do whatever you can to make it easier for you to make healthier choices for yourself, and if you slip on occasion, remember you get to start over not just the next day but the next minute. I hope you feel better.