I had my 'last' dinner. I bought a Tanita scale, Protein drinks, broth. I have been looking for a little immersion blender kinda thing but no luck yet. Something less then 50.00

I started this process a few years ago and then talked myself out of it.

After having jaw surgery in April, I realized that I shouldn't be afraid.

I am in good hands. The surgery will go great.

I am afraid. I think I need to find a new therapist, someone who has experience with food disorders.

I am an emotional eater.

I want to be brave and funny and I am really scared.

I don't want to hurt. I don't want to feel I am doing this for vanity. I can barely walk my back is so messed up and my belly -- where I carry most of my excess makes me look 6 months pregnant.

For health and longevity,

Rose

I think we've all felt everything you've felt at some time or another. I really recommend Khaliah Ali's book, Fighting Weight. I read it in two days -- could have finished it in one if that's all I did. It's very uplifting and she addresses many of your concerns.

It would be great if you can read it beforehand but if not, it's still good to read afterwards while you're recuperating and maybe second-guessing yourself.

Good luck and take care of yourself!

Good Luck Tomorrow!!!