just venting here.

I hate hearing this from people.

"You've lost enough weight now."

"You're not trying to lose any more weight are you?"

and at the dinner table

"Is THAT all you're eating?"

My dear Mother in Law in particular. She also accused me of starving myself. Don't get me wrong, I love my MIL, but it doesn't feel complimentary.

Now if I was within the 'average' or 'low' end of the BMI, I could understand and accept this comment from people. But I am still mildly overweight or whatever it says.

So I brush it off, say, Yes and thank you.

But deep inside it bugs the hell out of me.

I get it too and I am nowhere near my personal goal. People (family and co-workers) call me "Skinny Minnie". My family has always been supportive but my mom and others watch what I eat & think I am not eating enough. People make comments like "aren't you finished yet?" or "how much more do you want to lose?" and the all-time favorite, "oh I almost didn't recognize you, you look like a totally different person". Sometimes I just want to scream. I'm like people, get real!! I still weigh 239 pounds from a surgery day weight of 304. That is good but I am far from skinny. I try to understand their point of view since it's new to them as it is to me and this is the most weight I have ever lost at one time. But sometimes it just gets on my last good nerve.

I hear this also from my family. I still weigh 174 and would like to get to about 150. My mom especially keeps telling me that I need to slow down that I dont need to lose much more weight that I look smaller than what the scale reflects. I have been told that if I lose 10 more lbs that Im going to look like skeletor ( you know the old comic strip). I cant take my families opinion seriously because these are the same people that didnt bother to mention to me that I was getting really heavy in the first place.

I cant take my families opinion seriously because these are the same people that didnt bother to mention to me that I was getting really heavy in the first place.

Good point. It almost seems to me that people STILL equate a bit of weight with good health. But really it's the opposite.

Extra weight = added health problems.

For now, I just refuse to talk about it with my MIL, she's really the only one who is 'worried' about me. I just do my thing. I had blood tests done and I am perfectly healthy and I point that out to her. I also point out that I am 1000% more healthy than 100 pounds ago.

I was banded on 9/24/07. I have lost 35lbs so far. I would like to know what you guys have done to lose your weight besides just being banded. I have not really been exercising or counting calories. I just eat until I feel restriction and then I am full for hours. I want to make the most of this tool and would like to know what you all have done.

I have not really been exercising or counting calories.

That's your answer right there. I weight train aggressively, and do watch my calories (although not so much here during the holidays)

I would like to know what you guys have done to lose your weight besides just being banded.

I have tried really hard to change my bad habits.

I have joined a gym, hired a personal trainer and made exercise a part of my daily habits. I try to keep myself busy, so as not to focus on food so much. I have all but given up liquid calories, no more juice, very little booze. I have tried to keep a 'clean' house. Even my 3 thin children don't need junk food.

My dh and I make family activity days every weekend. We swim as a family, take the kids for hikes, ski as a family. We really focus our family on physical activity.

The band has been a blessing in my life and I don't believe I could have lost or maintained this weight without it.

What changes are you making or planning on making? I like Bob Greene's attitude, when he says to start with one small change and add from there.

Paulax - The changes that I have made are....obviously I eat less (much much less); I am trying to be more active, for example when someone says lets play beach volley ball I say I'm in; I am thinking about starting ballroom dancing in January; I joined a gym, but I hate it so I am not sure if I'll continue.

Sarah,

i hated it too, but it is the reason i have lost over 60% of the weight i want to lose.

it REALLY helps

Paulax - The changes that I have made are....obviously I eat less (much much less); I am trying to be more active, for example when someone says lets play beach volley ball I say I'm in; I am thinking about starting ballroom dancing in January; I joined a gym, but I hate it so I am not sure if I'll continue.

I hated the gym too, that's why I started running 2 years ago. I never looked back.

I agree fully that exercise is the key. I think it takes somewhere between 3-6 months to really make something a habit/a routine and now its gotten to the point (after 6 months of exercise 5-6 days a week) that I miss it if I don't do something- doesn't have to be the gym (although I like going) but walking the dogs for 45+ minutes, swimming etc- I do something active each day with specific focus on the cardio 5-6 days a week.

Hang in there Sarah and people will tell you to stop losing soon too!

I've lost a good amount of weight. When I compare photos of me at my heaviest and now, I can really see a difference. However, realistically, I am NOT skinny. Skinnier, maybe, but not skinny. When I hear the word skinny I think Olive Oil or Twiggy. I guess I look like a normal 50 year old woman now.

I do continue to get comments from people I don't see on a regular basis about how great I look, how thin, how young, how skinny. I smile, say thanks and change the subject. I'd rather my weight not be the subject of people's conversations. It's embarrassing to me that I let myself get so fat I had to have a foreign object surgically implanted in me; that my lack of self-control got so far out of hand.

MC

That's Just Like When I First Had My Surgery, People Started Telling Me That I Wasn't Big Enough To Consider Surgery, But Know One Knows You And Our Body. I Was In A Size 18 (tight 18) And I Want To Be In A Size 8. What Other People Say Is Not Important, I Know My Sister Has Always Been Bigger Than Me But For The Last Few Years I've Been The Bigger One, And I Hate To Say It But Sometimes I Feel Like She Wants To Keep It That Way From The Remarks She Makes. But I Did It (have The Surgery) And I'm Going To Be Just As Small As She Is Or Smaller!!!

People are so funny.When I was overweight - everyone had something to say.;Doesn't everyone wish they had a dime for every time we've heard:

You are SO pretty - Gee, if only you lost weight...

Well now that I've lost the weight, now they want to make sure that I'm not going to lose too much weight. Guess what? It's my body - I succeeded at my goal and they should respect that.

Bottom Line: People want to define us by what they think of us - let's NOT let them!

Rereading this thread as my MIL just phoned last night to say goodbye. MIL and FIL are travelling South for 3 months. Yadda, have a good trip, talked to the kids, yadda, yadda, yadda. What is the last thing she says to me?

"Now, you aren't going to lose any more weight are you, because FIL and I like you just like you are and don't want you getting sick."

:tongue::mad::biggrin::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

WTF? I am saying goodbye for 3 months and she is thinking about my WEIGHT????

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

UNREAL!

They are Danish, I am still WAY fatter than any of their skinny relatives in Denmark......I give up. I just give up.

I am in my 2nd week of a Learn to Run 10K program with my daughter. I will either be thinner or look thinner in 3 months.

This reminds me of my dear old grandmother from Italy, long gone, but when I was in my late teens my weight fluctuated. When I was fat, she would look at me with cataracts in her eyes and say in her thick Italian accent. "You too skinny!" And when I had lost weight, she'd say, "You too fat!" We'd just laugh.

BTW, I'd also like to report that EVERY SINGLE test my doctor ran on my blood work was excellent. I was worried about my Iron levels, because I have been feeling lethargic at times. It is ABOVE normal levels. Normal 70, mine was 80, or something like that.

I am healthier, I am stronger, I am spunkier than ever before.

i am looking forward to being told i'm skinny! but i guess after 6 months i'll be fed up with it too.

one word .... jealousy!

t