Here's a first world problem if I have ever heard one... I can't get used to being so much thinner!

I'm down 65 pounds and so many inches, I can no longer count. I'm down to a size 10 in tops and between a size 12-14 in pants (oh... the struggles of the in-between sizes!). And, hey, I'm enjoying my new body (minus the extra skin on the belly - oh!!! the extra belly skin!!) but I have to admit, it's freaking weird!!

I see myself in the mirror or walking down the street in the reflection of glass and I can't believe it is me! Who is that woman walking around in size 12 jeans?

And people aren't looking at me in a strange way any longer, when I walk in to Dunkin' Donuts and order coffee, the woman behind the counter doesn't turn up her nose at me and make me feel self-conscious about my weight... she smiles that secret "thin person club" smile (I'm convinced they have a club, you can't tell me they don't!!) lol The women at the gym don't stop and whisper any longer.. my trainer doesn't look at me with pity in his eyes...when I interview for jobs, they smile when I walk in the room now, instead of averting their eyes, which immediately are dead when they look back at me.

I can't get used to the bones in my knees touching when I sleep at night, I have to put a pillow between my legs now. I can't get used to how thin my shoulders look and how wearing a cold shoulder top doesn't seem so bad now. I can't get used to how much energy I have or how walking up the stairs no longer makes my heart race or how I can walk up the whole flight without stopping to catch my breath.

I work in a plus-sized clothing store and I can't get used to being at the very bottom of the sizes and how my customers tell me "I'm no longer plus-sized"...

This may seem weird but I can't get used to the whole thing! And what's more.. I don't see myself as "thinner" yet. I look in the mirror and still see that "fat" girl staring back at me. I can't see what everyone else sees yet, despite the glaring evidence in front of me.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

You’re not the only one! I see myself running in my shadow and think...who is that? I see myself in store windows and really don’t think it’s me at first glance. The bones in my knees drive me crazy at night. And, new clothes don’t fit right very long. All good problems to have but also difficult. My husband says I’m ‘finding myself’ again...but as soon as I find her she changes again. From a style perspective that’s weird (and expensive.) I can’t settle into ‘me’ until I stop losing weight.
SW 239 CW 154 Size 10 pants

2 hours ago, DianeJarrett said:

Here's a first world problem if I have ever heard one... I can't get used to being so much thinner!

I'm down 65 pounds and so many inches, I can no longer count. I'm down to a size 10 in tops and between a size 12-14 in pants (oh... the struggles of the in-between sizes!). And, hey, I'm enjoying my new body (minus the extra skin on the belly - oh!!! the extra belly skin!!) but I have to admit, it's freaking weird!!

I see myself in the mirror or walking down the street in the reflection of glass and I can't believe it is me! Who is that woman walking around in size 12 jeans?

And people aren't looking at me in a strange way any longer, when I walk in to Dunkin' Donuts and order coffee, the woman behind the counter doesn't turn up her nose at me and make me feel self-conscious about my weight... she smiles that secret "thin person club" smile (I'm convinced they have a club, you can't tell me they don't!!) lol The women at the gym don't stop and whisper any longer.. my trainer doesn't look at me with pity in his eyes...when I interview for jobs, they smile when I walk in the room now, instead of averting their eyes, which immediately are dead when they look back at me.

I can't get used to the bones in my knees touching when I sleep at night, I have to put a pillow between my legs now. I can't get used to how thin my shoulders look and how wearing a cold shoulder top doesn't seem so bad now. I can't get used to how much energy I have or how walking up the stairs no longer makes my heart race or how I can walk up the whole flight without stopping to catch my breath.

I work in a plus-sized clothing store and I can't get used to being at the very bottom of the sizes and how my customers tell me "I'm no longer plus-sized"...

This may seem weird but I can't get used to the whole thing! And what's more.. I don't see myself as "thinner" yet. I look in the mirror and still see that "fat" girl staring back at me. I can't see what everyone else sees yet, despite the glaring evidence in front of me.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

All exciting and positive things that you are noticing. It takes time for your mind to catch up to your body.

The wrists are what freak me out the most, I think. Wrists. Collarbones. Being able to feel my hip bones (and ribs, even, when I lie down!) My body feels so alien, sometimes.

Other times I just grab the excess skin on my belly and that feels more familiar/natural. xD

Edited December 2, 20178 yr by Brandeis

I'm a 14. For sure still plus size. When people are on the higher scale of obese everyone looks skinny. As I got bigger everyone was looking smaller ha. Congrats on all the loss !

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8 hours ago, dreamingsmall said:

I'm a 14. For sure still plus size. When people are on the higher scale of obese everyone looks skinny. As I got bigger everyone was looking smaller ha. Congrats on all the loss !

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Um...no! 14 is actually the national average! Plus sized in stores, sure, but the smallest plus size you can go (although Torrid goes down to a size 10, AS IF that is plus sized - maybe they think you are on your way UP instead of down?) I always think of size 14 as on the cusp of plus-sized... 16, to me, is where you can no longer shop on the 3rd floor of Macy's in Herald Square and that, to me, is the kicker. LOL

14 is great! When I was a size 24, 14 was my goal! Yay for you!

9 hours ago, Brandeis said:

The wrists are what freak me out the most, I think. Wrists. Collarbones. Being able to feel my hip bones (and ribs, even, when I lie down!) My body feels so alien, sometimes.

Other times I just grab the excess skin on my belly and that feels more familiar/natural. xD

My wrists! Yes! I remember I could never buy jewelry or watches because I was so "big boned!" Come to find out, I was just fat. LOL They are so think and the bone sticking out of my wrist?? Where has that been all this time?

Alien is a great word! You nailed that. I looked in the mirror yesterday at my shoulders and arm... I still see arm fat, mostly, but the shoulders looked so bloody thin to me. It truly felt weird.

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I'm not ungrateful, it's just so freaking weird, right?

Um...no! 14 is actually the national average! Plus sized in stores, sure, but the smallest plus size you can go (although Torrid goes down to a size 10, AS IF that is plus sized - maybe they think you are on your way UP instead of down?) I always think of size 14 as on the cusp of plus-sized... 16, to me, is where you can no longer shop on the 3rd floor of Macy's in Herald Square and that, to me, is the kicker. LOL 14 is great! When I was a size 24, 14 was my goal! Yay for you!

It's not all about clothes size it's about the body too. I'm not average weight. I'm obese. Were as someone else can be a 14 and healthy weight. The UK average is not a 180lb woman at 5 foot 2. And lastly a 14 UK is not the same as 14US so I'm probably a 16US. I still can't find clothes in some standard stores here.

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1 minute ago, dreamingsmall said:

It's not all about close size it's about the body too. I'm not average weight. I'm obese. Were as someone else can be a 14 and healthy weight. The UK average is not a 180lb woman at 5 foot 2. And lastly a 14 UK is not the same as 14US so I'm probably a 16US. I still can't find clothes in some standard stores here.

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I get it, I'm 5'2" too. I'm still obese. I'm looking forward to the day I cross the "overweight " mark. LOL

Hey, we all have the same path to follow... From your starting weight to your current weight, it's a huge jump! Congrats!

5 minutes ago, dreamingsmall said:

It's not all about close size it's about the body too. I'm not average weight. I'm obese. Were as someone else can be a 14 and healthy weight. The UK average is not a 180lb woman at 5 foot 2. And lastly a 14 UK is not the same as 14US so I'm probably a 16US. I still can't find clothes in some standard stores here.

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And I'm the same weight and height. I may be 1/2 inch taller than you. I guess I just carry my weight different. 180 lbs, 5'2 1/2", size 10 up top, 12 on the bottom.

51 minutes ago, DianeJarrett said:

And I'm the same weight and height. I may be 1/2 inch taller than you. I guess I just carry my weight different. 180 lbs, 5'2 1/2", size 10 up top, 12 on the bottom.

It's pretty funny when you go through so many sizes untill you get to goal. You get in a dressing room and get way excited that you are no longer at your largest size.

I still kept one pair of my size 22 jeans in my closet. If I have a day I struggled with weight loss or seeing myself smaller. I would put them on to remind me that Yes I'm smaller.

It's hard for my mind to adjust as well. I'm almost 6 months post op (Gastric Bypass), and I've disowned 113 pounds. I still have about 60 to goal. I still feel morbidly obese.
My brother chewed me out on Thanksgiving, because I insisted on sitting in the corner so I wouldn't get in the way of family trying to get past my chair! He was seriously mad at me because he said I was so much smaller and didn't come close to being in the way!

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18 hours ago, losing2live4Him said:

It's hard for my mind to adjust as well. I'm almost 6 months post op (Gastric Bypass), and I've disowned 113 pounds. I still have about 60 to goal. I still feel morbidly obese.
My brother chewed me out on Thanksgiving, because I insisted on sitting in the corner so I wouldn't get in the way of family trying to get past my chair! He was seriously mad at me because he said I was so much smaller and didn't come close to being in the way!

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I think our biggest issue post surgery is body dysmorphia. When we are heavier, we are in denial that we are as heavy as we are... somehow, until we look in a mirror the wrong way or in a reflection or picture, we see ourselves as just a little bit thinner than we truly are, in reality.

But now, it is exactly opposite. We look in a mirror and see that heavy person at their heaviest. Sure, we see the thinner person looking back in the mirror, but not really. We can't see what others see and that's why our bodies feel so weird and alien to us . The bones touching, the lack of heat between our thighs as we walk, the boniness of our shoulders, elbows, wrists and feet! To us, we still don't see it, we live in a thinner body but our psyche is still plus-sized!

And it is so hard to cope! We comforted ourselves with food when we were heavier but our comforting and coping mechanisms have all changed and that's hard too. Talking to our friends and family is really no use, they just say "you look great" and "don't you see how thin you have become" and that's nice, but it's not what we want or really need. We truly want to parse out our emotions down to the detail. We miss our heavier selves, we really do. Not the weight, actually, but the comfort of knowing WHO you were in that body. Now we have to redefine ourselves as thinner people. How do we do that? This site helps but it would be great to have a live, in person group too, so we could talk about it ad nauseum (not type) and it help us settle down.

I'm kind of thinking of starting a group, or maybe even a Google Hangout video session. It would help me too.

(Sorry, I used to be a psychologist and that weird crazy part of my brain took over.)

And I'm the same weight and height. I may be 1/2 inch taller than you. I guess I just carry my weight different. 180 lbs, 5'2 1/2", size 10 up top, 12 on the bottom.

I don't like my clothes tight. So .. that might be why. I have always bought a size up.

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And I'm the same weight and height. I may be 1/2 inch taller than you. I guess I just carry my weight different. 180 lbs, 5'2 1/2", size 10 up top, 12 on the bottom.

And sorry I'm 186 lol I was just rounding way down .

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I didn't even realize how fat I was. Now I'm losing weight I feel huge. And when I see myself in mirrors the person in the mirror looks slim so I think there is something wrong with the mirror so I look at the person next to me in the mirror then directly at them they look the same. But rarely do I feel slimmer.

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