Just checking... haha!

To start off this lovely Friday (well, not so lovely because I have to work), I will tell you of my latest NSV -- my old scrubs fit again! And they are loose!

I also had a stress test (more on that later) on Wednesday, and I did pretty good! Better than I did a few years ago.

Hope everyone has a good start to their weekend!

Maria

Below is my post after my emergency surgery in September - just so it is on this thread too in case anyone didn't see what happened or wants to know more about a slipped band.

BTW - because I was a self-pay for my initial surgery, therefore only $40,000 of the total $72,000 emergency surgery bill was paid for. I am responsible for the rest - all $32,000+. I am very lucky that my doctor, the anesthesiologist and the hospital are working with me and taking payments or reducing their bills.

This was from September 2007

Hi everyone,

I had the weekend from HELL!!!!

On Thursday and Friday I vomited everytime I ate. I left work early on Friday and while sitting in the parking lot of the ER I paged my Dr. He met me inside to do an upper GI. Nothing would pass. I ended up having emergency surgery Friday night. My band has slipped and my stomach had come up through the band. I had this huge tube down my nose and had to have an upper GI twice a day until the liquid would pass. When it wouldn't the liquid would be sucked out through the tube. I've had a drain in my stomach until today. It was so scary and painful. I have to be on Clear liquids for three weeks. I don't know what will happen after that.

So, basically I had the entire surgery a second time this past weekend. I had to pay for the original surgery and will probably get the bill for this one too. Oh my God, I hope I don't lose my house over all this. I am feeling so selfish suddenly - and very scared.

The doctor said he has NEVER seen what had happened to me and he has done thousands of these surgeries.

I will write more later - love to you all, please say a prayer for me, I have never been so scared in my whole life.

Jen - I do remember that your band had slipped. So did they just fix it? Or did they have to replace it? Do they know what caused the slip?

I understand your emotions, but look at where you are today, vs where you were last December 28th. You have come a long way, this is a journey for life, and not just 2007, so hold your head up and you can do this! We will succeed, we will, we will!

How is your restriction level now?

I posted my post before I read your last post Jen - I hate it that this seems to always happens to "self payers". It sucks, because now you have to be out even more money. I know you won't believe this, but I wish it had happened to me instead of you, so my insurance would have covered it. I feel that way everytime I read how someone had complications and were self pay. I think, Oh, I wish I could take it away from them because I have such good insurance and they pay for pretty my 100% of everything.

My knee surgery I had to have this summer cost me $40. So, I am more than willing to take the complications - or at least a few of them. . I wish I could anyhow.

Hang in there Jen, you will get thru this.

It seems that there is another avenue of insurance racket. You have an emergency and need help....why shouldn't insurance pay for it. Insurance co's seem to set the rules and run the world..at least here in the US.

Our local BCBS posted a huge, like 21 million dollar profit for a "non-profit". Do you think premiums will go down? Or providers will get paid more? Naw..probably not.

I am so emotional reading all of your posts.

You know my band slipped and I had emergency surgery in September. It was horrible. I have since been in a fog and as I come out of it I feel very alone and isolated. I haven't come in here to read posts for months because I felt like I had failed somehow.

Well, I just got caught up on all of your posts, struggles, challenges and I feel so much better. I can't begin to tell you. Yes, some of you have lost more and some of you have lost the same or less. But most importantly, we are on this journey together and I can succeed, even with this complication.

I have been so very depressed. Thank you all for your honesty. I have a renewed hope that I can do this, succeed and all is well.

Jennifer

You didn't fail! Keep on going! The support here is amazing!

Audree

Jennifer,

I am so saddened (sp?) by your post, I must have missed the original one, also. How devastated you must have been! I hope that you were able to be rebanded. With the prior success you had, I know how it must have been...want to continue, but DANG! The MULA!! I hope hope hope things look brighter for you this year, and the complications start to smooth themselves out. Band life is hard enough to get used to...without the added strain of problems with the band, and scary debt and worry.

Please keep us updated, and know blessings are being sent your way. We are here for you!

Sula, glad the dogs didn't get sick from the sweets...been there, cleaned up that! Let us know if the journaling helps. I have up-ed my workouts the past 3 weeks to about 4-5 days per week. I want to consistantly go 5 days a week. It's getting easier (the going, not necesarily the doing! LOL) and I find one thing to be true...the more you go, the more you really miss it when you don't go for a day or two.

Spent the whole day yesterday shopping with my daughter for apartment furniture (1 down, 2 to go til empty nest syndrome hits). She takes possesion tomorrow night, and it will be a month of hauling stuff up and down 3 flights of stairs. That will no doubt help my thighs! Great thing is, her new place is right across the street from Lifetime Fitness, where we work out, so I can pester her after my workouts (yet another reason to head to the gym)!

I'm headed to the gym now, one final workout before NYear's...then we go to our lakehouse, where there is no gym, just food. But there are leaves to rake, so no excuses!

Everyone have a great NY, be safe, eat well. I'll be checking in!

just trying to see if ticker's working

Sula, Sunshine, Cindi and Baby - thanks for the kind words.

I do still have my band - I must not have explained myself very well. When they did the emergency surgery they removed the band, got everything back to where it was supposed to be, then put the band back on and added the drain. So I am very thankful for that! That would have been awful...to go through all of that, plus have the medical bills and wake up with no band. Oh my gosh, that would have been devastating. I am very thankful for my band and still wouldn't change a thing about my decision.

I've had two fills since September and think I need another small one so I will go back in after the 1st.

Through all of this I have gained about 9 pounds and that amazes me, I could have gained so much more - believe me I haven't been careful at all about what I consume.

We don't know what caused it initially. The way it slipped was really unusual and the intestine had been prolapsed through the band for quite awhile and was starting to kind of "die." It was just one of those things. I was very impressed with my doctor. He was right there for me - no ifs, ands or buts.

I will be taking an 8-week behavior mod class starting the second Wednesday of January. I think it will really help me get me focus back. I will let everybody know what kinds of things we talk about.

I went to an overview class last Monday. It was for patients 6-months+ from their surgery. It was really interesting. They talked about how we can "tweek" our nutrients and workouts now that we basically know how to live with our surgery.

You guys, and all the people who post and share their struggles, losses, sadness and victories:clap2: are so amazing - thank you.

Jennifer

I just scared myself. I decided today was the day I was going to go through my clothes and get a box ready for goodwill. I was pulling pants off the hanger and I had a momentary twinge...maybe I should hang onto these incase I gain the weight back. I paused for a moment and then had to get after myself. Gosh...old scripts in our heads.

The good news...the clothes are in the washer and I'm cleaning them to go away tomorrow.

One more thing....I have a new addiction. I have been drinking Aveda tea...herbal, caffine free. It is soo nummy....it is like having desert. Expensive tho...but I decided that it is my treat. It is such a nice pick-me-up in the day. It has a very odd taste...but I love it.

Shawn -- I cleaned my closet today too! I tried on everything and divided into four piles: donate, fits now, will fit when I lose another 10-15lbs, and will fit when I lose another 25lbs. My mom bought me some of those Joy Mangano Huggable Hangers from HSN, so I've been meaning to do this.

Jennifer: So glad you came back. I tend to do the same thing -- stay away when I'm having a rough time. But I have to remind myself that those times are when I need this group more than ever!

Shawn - I have been doing the same thing. I am giving a lot of my clothes to my cousin (who had RNY), but she is about 2 sizes larger than me, so she needs the clothes too.

I find myself thinking - "this is nice, maybe I should hang on to it in case I gain my weight back". I almost have to slap myself to snap out of that thinking. lol. I WILL NOT gain this weight back! I refuse to do it!!!! So, all my clothes are going.

I myself will not have very many clothes because I don't have any in my size that I am now. I have a few that I have boughten recently, but not a lot. I've been hitting Ebay, consignment stores, and the clearance racks to find good bargains.

Anyhow, my closet is going to look pretty empty when I finally finish cleaning it out. But that okay, I am just glad that I am getting smaller and not larger for the first time in my life. It feels good to try something on and it doesn't fit, only because its too big and not too small. I love that!

jenslapband - Glad to have you back on here. I was wondering what happened with your band after the slip, so thanks for the update. Thank god you got to keep the band, but I'm sorry you had to go through all that (both physically and financially). That's every self-payer's nightmare.

Sunshine - I've done the same thing. I start cleaning out the closet and think I should hold onto the fat clothes just in case. I have to keep reminding myself that the band actually works. It still seems too good to be true. And, yes, eBay can be a great place to find bargains. I bought a gorgeous black dress on eBay a while ago -- the kind of dress that is perfect for any wintertime party -- and it only cost $12.

Happy New Year lapbanders.

I was in bed by 10. I'm not a partier!! I'm a sleeper :party:

I sort of started paying attention to my eating and what I was doing yesterday. I didn't use the elevator, except to haul a vacumn up and down to clean my office...we have janitors, but they never do the corners or behind the doors! I ate in moderation all day. I struggles with sugar cravings tho...bad...wanted to snack. I'm going to have to really crank down on myself to get that out of my system. But I will do it.

Sula: That is one "trick" I have tried to use, as soon as you go down in size, donate what doesnt fit anymore so if your "new" clothes get snug you have to re access what you are doing or be naked!!!

And no stretch clothes!

My jeans are a little snug!!!

I have been going to the gym at least 3 times a week for weight training.

I am also using a self tanner and looking nicely tan!

Tan always look tone!

I have also been making my own tea blend, black tea, white tea, green tea, ginsing tea and a stick of cinnamon!!! With a splash of vanilla soymilk and a little unprocessed cane sugar!

How are you all doing?

I got a little sore throat last night, but am feeling better!

I am looking forward to kicking in to a higher gear my exercise routine, healthier eating, etc.

Our church is doing a 2 week fast (Daniel Fast) and it is also very good for health.

Happy New Year my band sisters!

Sunshine: It is cool to think we are the "experienced bandsters" now with a year under our belts!

I love it when people ask me questions! It makes me feel good to make a difference and help others!

I have been so scared to weigh myself since having to kind of start over with my fills. I am now up 11 pounds from my lowest after leaving the hospital Sept 8th. That is discouraging...okay actually I freaked out. I obviously need another (it will be my third since the emergency surgery) fill. I can eat anything and too much of it. I guess it doesn't make sense to punish myself for not being able to control myself - that is the whole reason we have to have this surgery. If it was just about control it would be a whole different ball game!!

The other thing I have had to come to terms with is a new puppy. My honey and I already had two adult dogs and then in a moment of INSANITY, my honey brought home a puppy. It has been very difficult. What I mean is, I was just learning how to make myself, my exercise, ME! a priority and when you have a puppy, they are the priority. I have been so depressed because I couldn't exercise or get my alone time or all my sleep. The puppy, Sasha, is now 4 1/2 months so I can finally do what I need to for me. I was very resentful for awhile and actually asked my honey if maybe it was an indirect way of sabotaging my success.

I will love having the puppy when it is warmer out and not snowy and icy because she will be able to exercise with me and I can take her everywhere with me and won't be scared to be by myself (long story.) The two dogs I had already aren't very fun to take anywhere and aren't very sociable.

So, my plan is:

1. Make an appointment for another fill immediately.

2. Eat more often, the right stuff, so I can't fit the wrong food choices in.

3. More Water.

4. More exercise - nothing really specific, just more.

5. Less treats. I was on soft food for so long after the 2nd surgery I really developed some bad habits.

I hope I can do this. I don't want to be the only one who gains their weight back with the band. I think I would die. I'm so afraid things are just too goofed up but I believe in you guys and you have rough times and have gained, then lost the weight so I must be okay.

I'll just keep reminding myself of that...I must be okay.