Hello all. My wife's surgery date is 3 days away. We have been talking about a code word for her for when/if she gets upset.

I can't tell her to calm down because that will only make it worst.

Any suggestions??

Thx

Charles

I'm sorry that you're concerned about this. I think that the best approach to this for a support system is to learn as much as you can about what she can eat and most especially some of the emotions she will go through.

I experienced a lot of regret the first week after surgery and having everyone around me eating things that I could not was very frustrating. I was prepared for this and your wife should also anticipate these emotions. I talked them over with my family and apologized in advance if I get frustrated.

They downplayed every meal and even made me something I could have when they ate. I came to the table and they had soup and salad. On the table was a small bowl of chicken broth from the soup. How can you get mad at that kind of support:-)

My husband never acknowledged my moods. My teenage son, on the other hand, asked me if I was in the "regret" phase all the time...it made me laugh every time.

In short, work hard to support your wife because the first few weeks really suck. Liquid diets and slurries are not too pleasant.

As far as a word? IDK... it was just nice to hear my husband say he loved me.

Good luck. She is blessed to have someone who cares so much to even talk about it.

Take care

My apologies if the post was misleading.

This was just something she brought up. She knows her mood swings with the medications can be quite up there.

I of course will tell her I love Her every step of the way. And be supportive.

Thx for the tips and hope you are doing great with your recovery.

Charles

No problem. You might be surprised. After the first couple of weeks my frame of mind was mostly positive with a bit of down moments.

When the weight starts to come off it is hard not to feel good.

So worth it for both of you.

Good luck

I think your code word should be something silly or something or some place that is special between you guys. This way when the code word is said, and when she thinks about the silly word or the special memory it will make her smile.

I think your code word should be something silly or something or some place that is special between you guys. This way when the code word is said, and when she thinks about the silly word or the special memory it will make her smile.

Thanks!!

My husband and I have a code word! It's "roadrunner". We've had it for over 15 years, and I can't even remember why we settled on that word. We use it to alert the other in public situations (like when buying cars, wanting to go home, awkward/shady people). He knows that if I say the code word in the hospital that I'm beyond upset about something or in terrible pain.