Just got done with all my pre op stuff. Surgery is Jan 17. My surgeon told me she won't do my surgery unless I have someone to look after me and help me for at least the first 48 hours after being discharged. I have no one. I'm not exaggerating. My soon to be ex husband kept me totally isolated. I'm feeling so sad that I don't have a soul that will help me. I'll lie to her if I have to. Please don't judge. I'm a tough cookie. But it's just so heartbreaking that I am absolutely alone in this world.

BTW...How do you even make friends at 40?

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The Bay Area to Nebraska must have been a huge culture shock for you! And your poor son! I seriously don't know what's wrong with so many kids today that they think something like punching a child or an elderly person is funny. It's dangerous, it's assault, and one punch can kill.

I hope the police do something. Target has excellent cameras I've heard and they could likely identify these people and keep them from doing it to someone else. You may have to hound them. Sadly, the squeaky wheel gets the grease when it comes to police reports. Take pictures of your son's injuries too. I'm sorry . I'm sure this doesn't help how you're feeling right now.

The Bay Area to Nebraska must have been a huge culture shock for you! And your poor son! I seriously don't know what's wrong with so many kids today that they think something like punching a child or an elderly person is funny. It's dangerous, it's assault, and one punch can kill.

I hope the police do something. Target has excellent cameras I've heard and they could likely identify these people and keep them from doing it to someone else. You may have to hound them. Sadly, the squeaky wheel gets the grease when it comes to police reports. Take pictures of your son's injuries too. I'm sorry . I'm sure this doesn't help how you're feeling right now.

Thank you. I felt so helpless...My poor baby. I can't even imagine how he is feeling. He was just crying saying mom I want to go back to California. Yes I will stay on top of the police. I hope they do catch them. My son said he can recognized them. They hang around his school.

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If he can identify them, that makes it so much easier for the police. And I'd love to see how tough those kids are in juvenile detention... but I can be a bit bloodthirsty when it comes to justice!

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Oh I hope he goes to jail. My son has a spectrum of autism and has devised a long metal stick that he has been carrying around with him since we got home. He says he's taking it with him every where he goes. He also won't take off his soccer cleats. He says he will kick anyone who tries to hurt him. My heart is breaking for him.

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I wish you were closer to me. I would take care of you!

But yeah, you should just hire someone. It's during this vulnerable time when we start questioning the presence of certain people in our lives. Don't worry, after this, things will change for the best. Our best wishes and prayers are with you.

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Hi Jazzy, Sorry to hear you are going through some rough times. It will get better. I wish you were closer to me, I could and would be glad to assist you. Do you have a mom, sister, cousin that would be willing to fly out and help you for a week? If not, getting a student nurse will be your best option. Though this is a great surgery, its not easy. Do a lot of planning, have your house and laundry in order ahead of time and do your grocery shopping so you have everything you need for you and your son. Also have your prescriptions filled in advance. Important... have a notebook with you at hospital. Write everything down they tell you when they tell you because if you don't write it down you will forget, the anesthesia makes you very forgetful. I don't know what your religious views are but churches are a wonderful place to meet people and build support relationships. It would also be good for your son. This Sunday visit a church or ask a coworker where you should go. I never would have dreamed Nebraska had such mean kids. I thought that happened in places like New York, New Jersey or California. Oh well, one never knows. Good luck to you and hope to see your progress on this site. We're all friends and support group for you here if and when you need us.

I wish you were closer to me. I would take care of you!

But yeah, you should just hire someone. It's during this vulnerable time when we start questioning the presence of certain people in our lives. Don't worry, after this, things will change for the best. Our best wishes and prayers are with you.

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Aww you are so sweet!!

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Thank you so much. My family was kinda small. Just me my grandma and my dad. They both have passed away. I have a friend in CA but she can't afford to fly out here. My 18 year old son said he would come help me. He just recently got his own place. He is such a good boy. I will prepare my home and food for my little guy. Did you have trouble climbing stairs after? Im planning on staying pretty much in my living room, but I have a bunch of stairs that I'll have to climb to get my lil guy up for school. Maybe I should just have him on an air mattress in the living room...Idk just trying to think of every possible senerio.

Notebook!!! Great idea. Thanks!

I am religious. Daughter of a minister and really need to get my butt back to church.

I don't work so no co workers.

We are from CA and never experienced violence like this. Omaha is pretty bad. I wouldn't have ever thought so either.

And thank you so much for all of your support. I really appreciate it

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Thank you all for your support, kind words and suggestions. I don't feel so alone now. ((((HUGS)))) I'm so thankful for each and every one of you!

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I'm a tough cookie. But it's just so heartbreaking that I am absolutely alone in this world.

BTW...How do you even make friends at 40?

surgeon told me she won't do my surgery unless I have someone to look after me... I'm feeling so sad that I don't have a soul that will help me. I'll lie to her if I have to. Please don't judge... But it's just so heartbreaking that I am absolutely alone in this world.

BTW...How do you even make friends at 40?

It sounds as though you're living some distance from family, yes? At the very least, you'll need someone to spring you from the hospital because of its insurance policy. You've been given some good suggestions for getting help for a day or so. You won't really need someone around 24 hours a day and it may be easier to arrange to have someone stop by a few times in case you do need help with something. (It's when it hurts to bend because of fresh incisions that we realize how many times a day we drop things, for one.)

As to the rest, there is nothing to judge. Life happens and sometimes we're not aware of exactly what's happening. By choosing to have surgery, you should be learning that you're capable of making significant changes. Try not to put energy toward feeling sad for yourself. Use the energy toward the changes. Keep the "tough cookie" part in mind.

Making friends at 40 is pretty much the same as at five and after 60. It just takes a little more effort and openness. I think a great start is to put yourself in settings that matter to you -- volunteer work, classes in subjects that truly interest you, a job... Most important, there are people there. Just as important, you have something in common. Casual conversation can lead to coffee and beyond. A couple of close friendships may evolve along with some good connections that will be less intimate.

Much as I hate to speak for others, good, bad or neutral, you have us. We're on paper, but we count and we mean it.

Thank you!!! I'm off the pitty pott and refocused on moving forward. One foot in front of the other to my new beginning. Actually it has already begun!!

Yes everyone has some excellent ideas and suggestions. I'm so grateful for this site. My 18 year old son is going to look in on me and possibly stay with me for a bit after surgery. I'm also looking at a few local groups from Meetup and I have made some phone calls to start volunteering at a local shelter.

@@Jazzzyjay, you're terrific and -- poof!, a son! Was he such an easy delivery the first time around?

Keep us up on your planning.

@@Jazzzyjay, you're terrific and -- poof!, a son! Was he such an easy delivery the first time around?

Keep us up on your planning.

He's kind of a fly by the seat of his pants still finding his way 18 year old. A great kid but not too dependable. Sometimes I don't here from him for weeks at a time.

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You should use the search option on here to search where you live. Someone might be able to help you

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You should use the search option on here to search where you live. Someone might be able to help you

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Thank you. That's a great suggestion but I haven't been able to find anyone in Omaha.

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