I have a friend that had regular gastric bypass 6 years ago. She's lost over 100 pounds and looks great.
Naturally, when it was decided that I would do the mini bypass, I confided in her. I asked a lot of questions and

was honestly shocked by her answers.
She eats pretty much whatever she wants. She said bread doesn't always go down so good, but she can

eat a big plate of spaghetti. We met for supper, ordered the same steak, and she actually hate more than I

did. We had a couple of drinks... I had 2 small glasses of wine.. she had huge (like circumference of a baseball bat) glasses

of beer (3 of them)... followed by a couple of mixed drinks...

I don't understand... isn't this surgery supposed to be restrictive? I already feel like I try to eat less

because I am conscious about my weight. I'm having this surgery in hopes of losing enough weight to help my

joints feel better so I can walk again and exercise without injury. The point is... doesn't everyone do this with the

idea of getting healthy?

I'm terrified that I will do this procedure, lose weight, and gain it all back again like I have before. But I certainly pray

that I can get into shape and her world looks entirely different from what I expect mine to be. Is something wrong with her

surgery that she can eat whatever she wants? I'm serious.. she looks great.. I don't understand.

My husband had the bypass 10 years ago and eats whatever he wants, and for the most part keeps his weight off. But there's checks and balances.

He moves and stays very active.

When he finds himself putting on weight, he cuts back on the crap and goes back to high Protein and no sugar or carbs until he takes it back off.

I personally at 2 years out cannot eat anything I want, or I will gain all my weight back. What is working for me in maintenence is a 90/10 balance. I follow my program 90% of the time, and give myself the 10% for that peice of cake at the party or couple glasses of wine with dinner.

We all have to find what works for us.

I am with @@Babbs on this one. I have to be very careful or i start to gain a few pounds.

I am two years out and cannot eat whatever I want as I am not active enough. So, I play the 90/10 rule, watch the scale and how i feel and plan for those 10% days.

Unfortunately i think monitoring what i eat and how much i eat will be a lifelong worry for me because like you, I am terrified of regain. I like where I am at and would like to stay here for the rest of my life.

Your friend may be more active than you think? Not sure about this but if i ate and drank what you described, I would gain weight, especially if I did it regularly.

Best of luck to you!

Thank you for your responses.
I did ask her if she exercises and she said she did in the beginning because she was super motivated.. but after the first 6 months, she wanted to eat again.. and she said she has that "dumping" thing happen sometimes, or pain in her chest.. but she's used to it and just deals with it.. I feel like that's not really the purpose of the surgery and I was actually feeling a little angry.
It feels like it's taken me YEARS to get to this point of being able to have the surgery. Initially, we went to the gastric bypass meeting together 6 years ago. Her insurance covered it, mine did not. Mine still does not today which is why I did my research and I'm going to Mexico to Dr. Illan. But, to know it was all so easy and still is for her.. makes me look at myself and wish it has been easier.. where is my light at the end of the tunnel? lol

@@redheadjo, I know nothing about bypass surgery in all its forms. What I do know is that losing weight and maintaining are a matter of changing eating habits forever. Period. This doesn't mean that high-cal, high-carb and otherways "fattening" foods can never be eaten, but quantities and frequency are what is important. If your friend hasn't been regaining, she's not going overboard as a way of life.

Just as or even more important, none of the surgeries are magical. Surgery doesn't lose weight; it just lays there waiting for the person who wants to lose to make make proper choices and remain mindful. Surgery is an aid, not the answer. It is possible to regain despite surgery.

I eat whatever I want. I also run A LOT.. I just did a 15k and I'm doing a half marathon in March, it's a trade off for me, but I refuse to deprive myself or "diet" . I do try to make good choices but if I want something sweet I have it, if I go out on the weekend I order whatever I want. It works for me and has for almost 9 years.

@@redheadjo

Your best chance of success is making good choices. 90% of having weight loss surgery is a head game, 10% the surgery. Especially after the honeymoon period.

I personally believe the longer you have to prepare yourself (like you are), the better chance you have of long term success.

I exercise very minimally at this point, I wish i could do more. For the first 9 months i exercised 1 hour 5 times per week. As I lost more weight, I began to have more issues with my spine. 9 months after bypass I had a 3 level cervical fusion and my hour a day cardio came to a screeching halt. That was my 6th back surgery since 2001. 5 months later i had my 7th.

And yes, I am still having alot of trouble with my mid back. I guess fusing your lumbar and neck ultimately causes trouble with your mid back which is now wearing and extraordinarily painful.

So, I have to control my weight with food and do what i can.

I had 9 months to prepare for post bypass life and I am thankful now, at the time i thought it sucked to have to wait that long. I believe that for me, that time allowed me to prepare and have a better chance.

I ended up losing all of my excess weight and I had to do the last with pretty much diet alone.

You should do well! Keep the right mind frame and know that it really is all about choices.

@@redheadjo

I have a friend that is around 4 years out from RNY. She eats any and everything and drinks whatever. RNY seems to have more leeway long term for people having larger capacity and that is just I think because the pouch can stretch. This is just my opinion from people I know that had RNY. Sleeve patients seem to be less likely to have the capacity that RNY patients have.

What your friend is doing, some people can get away with it, because some people after RNY seems to maintain malabsorption longer than others. However in the case of my friend, they never met goal weight, never got close to being 200lbs after starting near 400 and they have regained. They never learned proper eating habits and nutrition and now it seems impossible for them to learn, or at least not as easy as it is right after surgery.

My suggestion for you is to learn to eat healthy and find a way of eating that is comfortable for you, and doesn't feel like a diet. I have a way of eating that just feels like a way of life to me, not a constant diet. Like Babbs, I eat 90/10 yeah I am not in maintenance yet, but i have lost the bulk of my weight and I find having the occasional thing of plan helps me more than hurts me.

@@redheadjo

I have a friend that is around 4 years out from RNY. She eats any and everything and drinks whatever. RNY seems to have more leeway long term for people having larger capacity and that is just I think because the pouch can stretch. This is just my opinion from people I know that had RNY. Sleeve patients seem to be less likely to have the capacity that RNY patients have.

What your friend is doing, some people can get away with it, because some people after RNY seems to maintain malabsorption longer than others. However in the case of my friend, they never met goal weight, never got close to being 200lbs after starting near 400 and they have regained. They never learned proper eating habits and nutrition and now it seems impossible for them to learn, or at least not as easy as it is right after surgery.

My suggestion for you is to learn to eat healthy and find a way of eating that is comfortable for you, and doesn't feel like a diet. I have a way of eating that just feels like a way of life to me, not a constant diet. Like Babbs, I eat 90/10 yeah I am not in maintenance yet, but i have lost the bulk of my weight and I find having the occasional thing of plan helps me more than hurts me.

Looking at your ticker, I'm still amazed at how far you've come. 172 pounds lost...wow. Really and truly, great job!

I have a feeling your friend is minimizing the work she really puts into her weight management, I've caught myself doing the same thing with friends and family that are considering surgery. I've been very open about my surgery so people ask me a lot of questions, usually related to how "drastic" my life had to change. When I get these questions I find myself minimizing the changes, because for me they are the new normal and don't seem as drastic anymore. So I say things like "I can eat anything" but what I mean is I can eat a BITE of anything, but I choose not to because weight loss, health and maintenance are my priority. I CAN eat whatever I want, but I don't.

With that said I'm also part of the "eat whatever you want" crew (once in maintenence of course), but in moderation. It seems like you were out for a special occasion so I'm sure what she ate and drank, both in substance and quantity, we're not the norm for her.

I think the best part of your story is that it shows this surgery is not some sort of magic cure all. Once healed, you have to manage your choices and find a balance between diet and normalcy. The restriction does lessen over time, the trick is how we manage it. If she can have a few drinks and a good steak every now and then and still maintain then she is doing something right, she has found the balance.

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I know two people very well who had RNY who are nearly as big as when they started after several years. Both because they have terrible diets consisting of stuff that slides down fast and easy. I use them as cautionary tales to remind myself that surgery isn't a cure and an excuse to eat what you want.

Surgery is a second chance at life that is just as easy to throw away as the first one I ruined by getting obese in the first place. I just hope that with age comes an appreciation for the chance I'm getting to start over and the wisdom to protect it well this time around.

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Edited December 27, 20169 yr by clc9

I had the mgb over 2 years ago, I can eat whatever I want, decent size portions but not like preop. I do drink often and If I don't keep a tab on my diet when it starts going up, I do gain weight. This holiday season was the worst, ate everything in sight, drink 5 days a week for about a month and half, no gym hardly. I am up around 7lbs but I will bring it down as I do keep a healthy lifestyle for most of the year and workout. I cut out sugars and carbs and get active again by going to the gym with 45 min cardio and weights 5x a week at least.