Is it Friday yet?
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I'm getting sleeved on Friday 8/19! I'm 93% excited and 7% terrified, hah!
I've had surgeries before, and I work in a hospital (used to work at the one I'll be going to, actually) in an allied health profession that I've been involved in for 15 years, so the surgery stuff and clinical stuff and even the being-at-the-hospital stuff doesn't bother me, but the mind-bogglingly huge changes that are only DAYS AWAY are making me just a bit anxious. But I'm ready.
I don't have a liver-shrink pre-op diet, just Clear liquids on Thursday and nothing after midnight that night. I'll go shopping on Wednesday to get the post-surgical food that I don't already have so that I can just relax with my family on Thursday. I had a moment or two of existential crisis regarding food funerals (anyone see that post? sheesh) that ended up to be a non-starter anyways - I ended up not even having a desire for a forlorn hope/hail mary pass extravaganza of greasy sugar-bomb junk, and ended up stressing out the most about missing salad - SALAD! of all things - and have felt okay psychologically about doing without certain foods for a long time or potentially forever, in case they have no appeal to me after surgery or if I'm never able to exercise any sort of reasonable control and therefore must abstain.
Today, I gathered stuff to take with me to the hospital (this is always such a fun conversation, right??) like travel toiletries/shampoo (I know that the hospital will provide, but I have waist+ length hair that I'm super vain about.. until it starts falling out, anyways!) and something comfortable to sleep in (hospital gowns are a drag! and I know that they're made to accommodate IV stuff, but I have a central line port in my chest that will be used instead of peripheral access in my arms.. it's quite liberating!) and a brand new book (that I will probably be too tired/high to read for at least the first day or two but it's a noble effort) and a new phone charger and - of greatest importance - a brand-new lip balm. I feel like I'm packing to go on vacation or something. It ends up being just a tote bag full of a few things, but it seems as though I've spent hours deliberating over what to bring.
The only thing I'm truly a bit nervous about is how I'll feel one week out.. I've been invited to participate in an art book/zine fair at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Cleveland the weekend after my surgery. It's a really big deal to me! Cleveland is about a 4 hour drive away, and I'd be spending a couple of nights in a hotel. I have to go by myself since my husband has to work and we can't afford for him to miss shifts.
My husband, 5-year-old daughter, mom, friends, and coworkers are all incredibly supportive and super pumped for me. I'm so grateful for the support! Everyone has been wishing me the best of luck and has been excited for me. I'm really lucky.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll be lurking all over the place here with a feverish intensity until Friday morning.