Havn't been here in a long while... Banded in November 2005, and 5 fills total in my history of my band. Have an appointment next week to go for a fill, however am thinking of canceling for the 5th time now in 5 months.... Scared of my surgeon, scared to be scolded, scared to be told theres nothing else they can do for me... lost at first, and have gained all my weight back including 7 lbs...So I am above my presurgery weight. My last fill was June of 2006 and have not been back since. I do have restriction and even PB at times.

Scared to have a larger fill and not be able to eat only the bad stuff which goes down to well. What should I do? My mom thinks I should go in for the fill and said she would go with me for support. I really need some words of wisdom. Please be honest with me and tell me what you think.

Thank you.

Schel

Schel, you're not going to like my answer but I think you need some tough love here.

You've got to get your head back in the game. If you eat junk, it doesn't matter what they do for you, you're going to gain it back. This is an opportunity for you to re-commit yourself to this band. Get the fill, tell them how you feel and talk to a nutritionist to get back on track. Really, you need to figure out why you don't want to use this tool that you have. There's a reason and only you know what it is. Do you really want to lose weight? There's something holding you back from achieving that weight loss.

You can PB and not be too tight. If you don't follow the rules (ie you eat too fast or take bites that are too large, etc) you're going to PB even if you have just a teeny bit of restriction.

Keep your appointment. If a fill is not right for you, then he won't do it but you owe it to yourself to give this another try. Tell him what you're feeling. Tell him your fears. Trust me, it won't be the first time he's heard it. And don't be afraid of a little scolding. I'm sorry to say this but maybe you need it.

Let your Mom go with you so you can lean on her for support. This won't be an easy thing but you have to do it. Did you go through all of this to give up now? You're stronger than that. You can do this, Schel. I know you can and more importantly, somewhere in there you know you can too. You never would have done the surgery if you didn't think you had it in you to succeed.

Please don't cancel the appointment again. You owe it to yourself to try to get back on track. Cut out the junk. If that's too hard, then just cut back. Every baby step is getting you closer to your goal. You just have to DO it.

Remember, a journey of 1000 miles begins with one single step. You can take one step, can't you? That's not overwhelming, right? Tomorrow, try to eat following the rules. If that's too much, eat one meal following the rules. Then the next day try for 2 meals.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Keep us updated. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Thanks!

I will keep my appointment.

I think I just made my 1st right choice. Yesterday when at the store, my son was begging for cupcakes. So I gave in and this morning when I got up, what did I do? I grabbed them was going to open it up and pushed it away and came to the computer instead. Feels good that I did this, but the evil voice in my brain is still saying go eat it! Wish I could put a band around the evil voice in my head!

I will not put one bite of the cup cake in my mouth and will have a healthy Breakfast with my son this morning before going to work.

Thanks, I know this is just a baby step, and everyone here will be hearing from me a lot more as I need to get away from the food, I shall type type type!

Thanks.

Schel

Good for you girlfriend! I'm SO proud of you! That first step was the hardest one to do.

Definitely come here when you need a little "something" to nibble on. It will get you over the hump and everyone here wants to help. We're all pulling for you!