I wake up, "Oh! its an awesome beautiful day! I have a great band and i'm losing weight and I'm exercising and in love with the world." Eat great all day, take care of new baby...husband works third, leaves at 9:30, baby is asleep for the night by 10. I think, "Now I can relax, piss around on the internet, wind down." And then I fall into this thing where at least 3 days out of the week I will go binging. And of course, it leads to nothing but puking and feeling like crap and finally falling asleep disappointed in myself...etc. It seems so simple, I know I shouldn't, I know I'm tired after being up with the baby all day, I know i'm bored and probably should go to sleep, an I know this behavior is wrong and could lead to trouble if not rectified. BUT KNOWING ISN'T DOING! So, if anyone has some tips on what they do to wind down, rather than falling into old habits late at night, please share.:ranger:

Hi Vessa,

I am going to ask you a strange question and then explain why.

Have you ever been a sneak eater? Especially from people who you feel are expecting alot form you?

I am a nighttime eater too and realized that I eat at night because I am a sneak eater! I have been doing that since childhood when my mother had my on amphetamines at 11 yrs old to loose weight. food was always forbidden is some way so I learned to sneak eat. I have only had one night time episode since being banded (and a few daytime ones) and realized that I don't want DH to see because I think that he will assume that I am not committed to this very expensive procedure (self pay from Canada). I am a people pleaser and could not bear to dissapoint him!

Realizing the root of my behavious has helped me to deal with it. You are right - you are much better off resting or coming on this board or doiong anything else but sabotaging yourself. Think about your own situation and how you can best find solutions.

I know you can do it! Good luck.

Wow! i never thought of it that way, but you hit the nail on the head! Thanks for the "diagnosis"! I never had that insight from my psych, probably because he's never been there. It can definitely help me to realize why and work from there instead of getting down about it. As far as the sneaking and whatnot, true, true, I used to keep frosting and a bowl of sugar mixed with lemonade in my top dresser drawer when I was a kid, right next to my diet pills! My dad (bless his heart) had his own weight issues and trying to "help" had me run for miles when I was 10, and promised me $250 if I lost 50 pounds before I went back to school. (in 3 months? i was a kid!) Anyways, I have always hated eating in front of others and only within the past 2 years have been ok with it in front of my husband. He is SO supportive with the band, but I know it deeply concerns him (as it should)when I throw up because I eat too much and am in terrible pain. You have helped me open a door and given me alot to think about! Thanks for all your help, and for sharing, the injustices alot of us have faced as kids can either help or hinder us (if we let them).

Vessa,

I deal with the night food deamon by brushing my teeth and going to bed (or at least my room with the door shut) the SECOND I feel the binge coming on. If I have any signs at all of physical hunger, I'll eat a piece of low fat cheese or a couple of olives before I brush my teeth, because true hunger will always lead to a binge for me if I deprive myself. But try going straight to bed -- even if you have ironing to do/email to check, etc. sleep is valuable to me, so it's a good replacement for eating. If you don't value sleep as much, find something that you do value (reading magazines? Watching a favorite DVD?).

Good luck. It's a major challenge, I know. If you can overcome it, at least most of the time, it'll be a big arrow in your quiver of bandster success!

Wow! i never thought of it that way, but you hit the nail on the head! Thanks for the "diagnosis"! I never had that insight from my psych, probably because he's never been there. It can definitely help me to realize why and work from there instead of getting down about it. As far as the sneaking and whatnot, true, true, I used to keep frosting and a bowl of sugar mixed with lemonade in my top dresser drawer when I was a kid, right next to my diet pills! My dad (bless his heart) had his own weight issues and trying to "help" had me run for miles when I was 10, and promised me $250 if I lost 50 pounds before I went back to school. (in 3 months? i was a kid!) Anyways, I have always hated eating in front of others and only within the past 2 years have been ok with it in front of my husband. He is SO supportive with the band, but I know it deeply concerns him (as it should)when I throw up because I eat too much and am in terrible pain. You have helped me open a door and given me alot to think about! Thanks for all your help, and for sharing, the injustices alot of us have faced as kids can either help or hinder us (if we let them).

Oh Yeah! I remember the money bribes! (My grandfather even offered me a car)! One of my saddest moments was when I was about 16, my mother had passed away the year before and my emotional overeating was out of control. I woke up one morning and there was a half eaten sandwhich on my night table. I had absolutely no memory of getting up, making it or eating it!

I really admire you Vessa, what you have undertaken with a new baby is amazing! You are truly selfless because it is not just for you -b ut for your wonderful husband and baby!

I ate sf popsicles for my latenight Snacks. I mean how many can you eat? The most for me was 4 for I think 120 calories.

edie

I agree with Juli, go to bed. Brushing your teeth works too, sometimes!!! But also, make sure you are not truly hunger like she said, because then you will be eating on a binge.

I can remember, my stepdad was the only one who got to eat the sugary, cakes and donuts. He was always the thin one, my mom and I always the heavy ones. So, my mom would buy him treats for lunch and then come home, wrap them up in saran wrap and put them in the freezer to get one out each day for his lunch. She always got something with cherry in it because I hated cherries. What a bummer that I never got to enjoy treats then, I sure did when I moved out though!!!!! And that's how come I had to be banded.

Gosh, I can remember when I first got married, making a cake for DH, and then eating half of it before noon and then not wanting him to know I ate half a cake by myself, so I would eat the rest of it. All 13x9 inches of it. PLUS the thick frosting. Sitting in my misery, disappointed and disgusted with myself for even being alive. THEN trying to make a dinner and sit there and try to act like I didn't just devour a whole freakin' cake earlier in the day!!!! Boy, am I glad that is over with. I havn't done that for a long long time, but I sure could devour a huge bag of Reese's Peanut Butter minatures in about a half and hour.

I think the sf popsicles are a GREAT idea too. I mean, you really wouldn't want to eat 12 of them. Unless of course, if it was hooooootttttt!!!

Thanks everyone for all the great help, good ideas, and thoughts to chew as well. :hungry:

The plus side, in its weird way, is hearing that other people had to deal with :heh:FAMILY:paranoid too. And all that craziness. I think sometimes that I wish when I was a kid, mine wouldn't have been so concerned about my weight, perhaps things would have been different...but, I've also come to terms with all that, I know I could sit back and blame them, but I'd NEVER get well, besides others have suffered far worse injustices than I. And as kooky as my family is and was, I know they have always loved me, even if they were a bit misguided. I pray every night I can do my daughter better. Oh, and as far as cake was, before the band, I had to stop making desserts, even my husband's birthday cake, because he'd have a piece or two, and I'd eat the rest! Thanks again.

This is something I tend to do too , well I did before surgery , Im newly banded and Im still on liquids . But I addressed this issue w/ my nutrionist concerning my pre op diet. Mainly because I am a night owl . I never go to bed before 1 or 2 am . And I told her this , I will have a snack late at night.

My "Breakfast " Usually is around 10 or 11 am lunch around 2 or 3 and dinner around 8 . Then a snack late at night around midnight.

She told me it was " OK " to have a snack at this time as long as it was a "Good Snack" . But I also am a Hide and eat person. I would eat " ok" during the day but hide my junk eating at night. So I tried the snacking for my pre op and ate things that were better for me and I could do it.

It might not be the best thing to do . And I might not be able to do it once im able to eat it solids again ?

Having sleep apnea the best thing for me to do would be to go to bed.

But over the yrs I have learned that 4 or 5 hours of GOOD sleep w/ my cpap makes me feel JUST as good as 8 hours off my cpap or even ON My cpap for 8 hours. So I adjusted .

sorry im rambling. LOL

HTH

Mindy

PS Your not alone

I've never had a night time eating problem, my appetite switches off at about 5pm and always did.

But I can identify TOTALLY with what you're saying, I did exactly the same thing only at 11 am in the morning. My routine with each of my babies was wake up, rush around, getting older kids ready for school, drop them off, hit the shops, do the shopping, run the errands, do the banking etc, then home, baby would ALWAYS fall asleep in the car. In the olden days, it would be time to hit the couch with a pot of coffee brewed, and a packet of Tim Tams (chocolate biscuits) to watch taped episodes of Melrose Place or bad reruns of Australian soaps such as A Country Practice. With Eliza it was time to muck around on the internet.

Always with a gallon of coffee and lots of carb foods. I could feel it all hit my bloodstream and I'd R-E-L-A-X.

Nowadays, I'd be more likely to take the opportunity to slip in a workout or paint a few walls (we're painting) or run around doing housework (I could never ever understand people that did housework while their babies slept, that was time to veg out in my opinion).

It hasnt changed with banding - I still tend to view food as a relaxant and a way to treat myself, but I have also discovered just how relaxing a good hard run on the treadmill can be and I can now make that choice, knowing that I will feel better after the run than after the binge. Plus being a regular runner, I am so much calmer, more in control and zen about everything that I just plain dont GET stressed out by the morning's activities like I used to.

I am reading "Mindless Eating" by Brain Wansink. Recommended by my Lapband Doc's psychologist. Also, maybe try to get in something that is a protein to kind of fill you up instead of junk. I am a night eater too. I dont do too bad during the day but after about 8-9p I raid the pantry. That will have to stop I am scheduled for surgery 8-8.

I am going thru the same thing. I tend to do really well during the day, but at night, (which is my time) I tend to just eat and eat, knowing darn good and well what is going to happen. Brushing my teeth wont work, cuz i dont care if my teeth are clean or about the taste, i will still eat. what happens is that is sit there and start thinking about something that would be good to eat. its like it just overtakes my mind and i cant think of anything else until i get up and get it. ive tried drinking water, trying to occupy myself with something else, ignoring it, nothing seems to work. my mind gets the best of me usually every time and i give in and eat. i didnt do this when i had my band, but now without it its terrible, and i wont get it back for another 2 months. i too would appreciate all the help and suggestions i can get.

thanks