My mother fat shames me all the time and tells me that I've let her down and she's disappointed in me bc of my weight.

I'm at the point where I want to have this surgery, and lose the weight and never see my own mother again!

She's actually told me before that she doesn't want to see me until I'm thin.

It's really bad. I've only gone to see her once this year (Mother's Day )

She keeps trying to give me incentives.. A whole new wardrobe.. If I lose weight..

She's very wealthy and I get an inheritance from my Father who passed away 6 years ago.. But my mother holds all the cards. She has threatened me several times to not give me the money if I don't lose weight. (My home situation is such that getting a job making less than my inheritance gives is not an option for me)

I was at my lowest weight last year

(40 pounds less than I am right now)

And my mom still fat shamed me bc I hadn't got to my perfect weight yet after all these years.. She bettered me in front of a friend.

I've forgiven her bc she asked me to.

But then it seems she hurts me again.

This last time of fat shaming was a week ago.

Yet other times she tries to be supportive... It's a strange relationship..

Thank the Lord I have such a wonderfully supportive Husband and grown children.

Also, I'm learning:

When she says something negative

To say to myself:

"I don't have to own that

I don't have to react"

It goes much better when I follow this and it's empowering and freeing

BLERDgirl

I believe she loves me in her heart,

But she doesn't know how to properly show it.

She thinks giving the money is showing love and she thinks giving the money allows her to be abusive

BLERDgirl, what do you mean

"Identified patient"?