I just got an automated email from my doctor reminding me of my appointment Wednesday. I'm so excited.

My blood sugars are seemingly out of control. I took my Lantus last night, but my sugar was still 251 this morning. It seems that no matter how much insulin I take my sugars stay high. That's not entirely true, but today I was feeling very discouraged, and my sugars are the primary reason I want this surgery.

My husband is still not enthused about the idea, he thinks that I can just make the same lifestyle changes and see results. Even though I know (and told him) that lifestyle changes just don't statistically work for laying weight loss and diabetes remission.

Today is also day three of giving up Diet Coke. I don't know if I'm going to have surgery yet or not, but I figured I might as well give up my Coke now. Make it easier if I decide to have surgery.

Ooh, Wednesday seems so far away. I really can't wait, and I'm going to be crushed if it turns out that I'm not a candidate (I have bipolar disorder, it's very well controlled and I'm in therapy, bit I'm still a bit worried).

Thanks for listening to me ramble... ????

Good luck with both your Drs visit and with your husband getting on board and helping you with your health issues.

The consult went ok. The barium swallow wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The clinic is nice and the staff friendly (I thought it was professional and organized, my husband thought it was slick and overly sales pitchy). Insurance only requires a cardiologist approval and a letter from my psych for approval. The surgeon seemed competent enough.

The catch? With insurance I'll have to pay $5,000. I don't know if that includes hospital/anesthesiologist or not.

We don't have 5,000! We have a massive amount of credit card debt and just bought new cars.

I have no idea if we can find the money for this or not. I'm guessing my husband isn't going to be all that thrilled to find the money, because he thinks that surgery is over the top and I can lose weight and get healthy without surgery. So I've been bummed. So close, yet so far.

I hope you are able to reach your goal of surgery. Good luck and best wishes!

I'm so sorry

I'm so sorry

Thanks. It'll be okay though, no matter how it works out. Maybe I need to take this time to focus on the emotional aspects of eating and being overweight, and then try for surgery again once we've paid off some of our bills. I'm sure I'll be back someday!