I lost around 50 kilos i was 115 then i reached 65 then i bounced bk to 81 im so depressed and tired being through alot this past year im also bipolar and have borderline personality disorder im so tired and in pain i lost my father and my boyfriend i jus dunno whats going on !! Why this weight is piled up !

I think that you have answered your own question in the last paragraph.

you have lost two significant people in your life and need time to heal from that. And as with most overweight people we tend to eat our emotions.

If you are struggling please go back to your nutritionist or dietician and get back on track. I would also suggest you see your psychologist to help deal with the emotions of bereavement and emotional eating.

I see psychiatrist but he is turing to be ass in the last few appointments like he doesnt give a fuck of what im sayin and he is using that i need his help for his advantage im tired here in cairo,egypt psychology is bullshit and they dont really understand anything im tired...really

That is not good to hear, you deserve better than an ass like that.

I've seen on this website time and time again when the scales start heading back up. And the key is to go back to basics remember when you started what you ate, what you drank, how much of everything you consumed.

Hopefully things will kick in and you start to feel better.