Hello all!

Mandy, I think I would check around, too. If you are having misgivings about the office or the doctor, or her process, then you owe it to yourself to get another approach. Your gut feelings have been pretty correct all along, so you should trust yourself.

Thanks for the hand-holding, Betty and Mandy. I do believe that what goes around, comes around, and I believe that you reap what you sow. (That is basically the same thing). I am just finding it difficult to work through the anger part to get to an acceptance that someone who I thought cared, truly doesn't. AND this situation happened on both sides of my family. It just kind of shakes up your perspective of what you always thought was true...and isn't. I'm a realist, though, and will come to terms with it, and I think one thing I am going to do is give part of what I do get back to my grandma's church in her name. My sister and I talked about that, and thought grandma would like it, and it would help the people in her town to know that we love grandma and honor what was important to her. My aunt can live there and have her $$ and her house, but she will never have the respect of the people like grandma did.

Today, I am taking DD to pick up her new, snazzy glasses, going to a produce stand and choosing some fresh stuff to cook tonite for dinner, and then she has her voice lessons.

I'll check back later, hope everyone has a great Friday!

Cindy

Good Morning Y'all!

I don't think it will ever stop raining here! I am totally sick of rain. Yesterday it rained so hard that my fish pond over flowed and one of my fish swam out and stuck on the ledge and of course was dead by the time I found it. It was one of my prettiest ones too! This is supposed to continue until at least Tuesday. We are the second highest now for the most rain since 1928 (?) I think that was the date. They are closing some of the parks for the 4th because they are flooded.

Cindy - I like your new avatar!

Eileen - It's great to see you here on a weekday. How is the new job going? Do you like it better than the old one?

Kat - That is too funny! Usually when it gets that way we just empty it out and start over. We haven't been able to do anything with it yet, too much rain. It's pouring right now! We have mosquito problems here really bad with all the rain. I was out last weekend for just a while and I am covered with bites and I sprayed too. Good luck with your party!

Dianne - Good luck with the tests today!

Sherry - Hope they can find out what's causing all your problems. I know it's not a fun thing to go through.

Mandy - Hope you are feeling better.

Beanie - Girl, what is going on? Come and post and let us know you are alright! You are probably shopping at Ikea!

Well, got to run, catch you all later!

I am just heartbroken. My little sister is a mess. She is so angry and she is taking it out on me and my sister. I feel sick and in a fog.

I can't believe how this FREAKIN WITCH could cause such pain even when she's gone! WHAT A _ITCH WHY my father got involved with her I will NEVER UNDERSTAND! He told me when they were dating that he was afraid she's KILL herself if they broke up! So instead the _ITCH has his child, then physically abuses him when he is to sick and weak, leaves him with my little sister. Then he dies, she comes back playing mommy dearest..for the money..and then does this...it's like F U to my little sister. If only she knew what that woman did to our father! If only she knew how she hurt him physically and emotionally. If only she knew how she is so much better off with out her around! OH I COULD JUST FRICKEN SCREAMMMMMMM

Dianne, I am sooo sorry for your family. I'm sure your sister will start to understand in time that her mom was less than stable. Give her time. How old is your sister? Sometimes grief comes out in ugly ways. My dad was less than a great man, but I still had to grieve him when he died. I'm sure people everywhere wanted to tell me I was better off without him, but I didn't realize that until about 6 months later. Give her some time, be there for her and this too will pass. ~Mandy

Mandy is a very wise woman, Dianne. Grief is a very personal thing, and your experience will not be your sister's. Be there for her and love her. Let her work out all her feelings. Some of her grief may actually be grief at what she wished was, but never was...at dreams and hopes never realized. Much grief is about dying dreams, and perhaps she does realize more than she is saying. I am sorry for you that you are getting the rawness of it, but on the other hand, she feels you are safe and can handle it. Be strong. You can handle it. I'm not trying to be too tough on you, Dianne, but just encouraging you to be able to handle this for her right now, until she is better able to handle it for herself.

Hugs to you, sweetie...turn to your faith.

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't been around in a while. Life has been hectic lately, but I do check in and see what's going on.

Cindy - I love the pics from Disney and your new avatar looks great!

Betty - I've been seeing on the news how much rain you all have been having. Hope you dry up soon! ugh!

Dianne - congrats on the new job! :eek:

Eileen - good luck with the fill.

Sherry - I love ya gal, and we'll get there. I can't wait until we can post our Disney pics.

Kat - you just can't catch a break these days! Hang in there.

Sorry to anyone I missed. My mind is not what it used to be!

Dianne I totally agree, that your sister may deep down realize more than you know what her Mom was truly like, and much of her grief now may be that she has to give up the hope of her changing. Like Cindy I think it was said, she is grieving the loss of the dream of her being a normal Mom....She may also harbor some guilt, about maybe not loving her enough the way she was. Guilt mixed with grief is a difficult combination. She will work through it, and her anger and sadness now are things she has to feel to move on. She knows she has you there---and when she can she will likely turn to you for the comfort she might not be able to accept right now.

Many years ago, I was married to a terribly abusive man. He kept me in the situation, by threatening my family. He would threaten to hurt my handicapped brother, or "go visit" my grandparents...a horrible man. He actually followed through and put a friend in the hospital, because I dared to defy him.....He was psycho. I however ended up pregnant. I prayed for a miscarriage. I lifted things, I refused to quit smoking---I was paralyzed with fear of being tied to this man forever. But the pregnancy advanced. He knew I was unhappy, and I didn't want a child, so he hovered, never giving me a moment alone, it was beyond description. In my 4th month, we discovered I was carrying twins. We also found that I was carrying in a placenta previa condition. The placenta was almost fully covering the cervical opening. By the final trimester, I had accepted that I was having these boys, and I knew I would do anything to keep them from that man. I had fallen in love with my unborn sons despite the fact that I did not want to be pregnant by him. I was scheduled for a C section on May 12th. I was getting VERY big, and there was not a lot of move room left. I got up on the morning of April 19th, and my water was leaking, so I called and planned to go into the Dr. By the time I got to the hospital (we bypassed the Dr.---my friend and I, my ex was afraid there may be police in the hospital, and he had a warrant---that I would have used in a heart beat to get him away from the hospital!) who was like 15 miles away, I was bleeding profusely. They did all the right things I am told, but by that point, there was no heart beats. I was delivered, and held my sons, and made arrangements---all alone. I went home and was beaten to the point of landing me back in the hospital...only because my friend called an ambulance when she found me----I didn't feel like I deserved to be 'helped'. I prayed not to be pregnant, and I had no right to mourn. It was without a doubt the most difficult time in my life. The guilt mixed with that grief, left me angry, at myself, and everyone who wanted to help me---I didn't think I deserved their help or sympathy, I was a horrid woman, who wished this on herself.

It took many years to realize that as hard as it was, it was likely the only thing that saved my own life---and no child deserves him for a Dad. They are in a better place than they ever could have been with him around.

No one knows how much your sister "saw" or knew. Or how she felt about her Mom disappearing and reappearing. When she left her with your Dad years ago, as a child, she may have childishly wished her dead. Those things do come back to haunt you. Just be there for her, and keep in mind that in order to get to the other side, you have to wade through the deep stuff. I know I had people so worried over me, in hindsight, but at the time I realized very little....don't take her immersion in grief personally.

Big hugs to you-----my friend that was with me through it all, is still my best friend to this day. She is working by my side giving my parents anniversary party.....I thank God for her, and your sister will be so glad to have you and know you come immediately to her during this time. She is lucky to have you and will recognize that soon.

Kat

Hi, gals!

I'm off to bed...just popped in to see if anyone had posted anything new. Glad to see Chrispy!

See you all tomorrow, and goodnight!

Cindy

Can't go to bed without saying to you, Kat, that you are very courageous to share your story. The whole experience was heart-breaking, and I was just reading it, not living it. Yet, by sharing these stories, we help others, and that must be the reason we go through these terribly difficult times...if we can't use them to help others, then what is the point?

God is certainly working here through you, and you've been a blessing to all of us. Big hugs, and blessings to you!

Cindy

Kat, my heart breaks for you and the horrid time in your life. I am so sory for your loss and also for the time spent with that terrible man. I have an ex husband that was very abusive, so I can relate to you there. Thanks for sharing your story, I am sure that Dianne will be there for her sister but hearing first hand stories helps to understand what her sis is going through. (((hugs))) ~Mandy

Hi Ladies,

My gosh I am lost for words. Kat, Dianne, Mandy :mad: HUGS to you all. Kat, you are a very strong woman and I am SO sorry you had to go thru that bullchit with that man and I'm so sorry for the loss of your babies. You are all in my prayers. Also remember, God hears you so don't ever stop talking to Him.

Betty I'm sorry about your fish, I have two gold fish that I love dearly...call it silly but I do. I hope you all dry up down there, I am seeing to much devastation on TV lately about Texas and the floods. Be safe.

Crispy girl, good to see you. Don't forget to slow down a bit (yeah I know look who's talking).

Sherry feel better love, I know what you mean about it being so frustrating with the weight loss and fills. Life is so much more than that F***** scale, and I wish we could learn to be happy.

Cindy love, you do look wonderful, and I mean that. We have all come so far in the past 2 years its just truly amazing. And you can be protective over me all you want its nice to know some one cares. Now go give that lovely daughter of yours a big ol hug and kiss.

I have nothing to complain about after reading this page, so I'm gonna go outside and soak in some humbleness.

Love yah's.

Eileen

Hello Y'all!

Well so far the sun has been out most of the day! But storms are brewing again. I am hoping to get the pool emptied out this weekend and getting it filled back up again. Of course it couldn't happen when it wasn't a holiday. I have people coming in next week and I sit here with a muddy pool. It was the perfect temperature too!

Kat - Your ex sounds a lot like my ex! What an a$$ he was. I left him and things went from pure hell to wonderful! I am glad you got out when you did!

Diane - Sorry about your sister, but everyone is right when they say she needs to mourn this just to put it behind her. She'll be just fine after she does that.

Mandy - Sounds like we have all had some of the idiots! It sure makes us appreciate what we have now huh?

Eileen! Good to see you here! It puts a smile on my face! What's up for the holiday with you?

Well, going to check out the other threads for a few, then get supper going. I am so glad it is Friday, I am just dragging!

Later gals!

Eileen, as usual, you summed it all up just perfectly! Look at what we've all accomplished in the last couple of years, just in one area of our lives...and some of us have done soooo much more! I am in awe of what incredible woman are together here on this thread, and grateful to know you all!

And thanks for the compliments...imagine me with cosmetics and a curling iron! LOL!

Hugs,

Cindy

Cindy, that's the beauty of it, you don't need cosmetics or a curling iron. You look great just natural, even the the florida heat :mad: . I only share early morning pictures. I have some really bad ones of me mid-day, I am a southern flower, I wilt in the heat. LOL! I have to say though that is better as I lose weight. ~Mandy

Good Morning,

Well, no rest for the weary.... cleaning here we come *YAWN*

Betty you make me smile too :mad: I'm glad your getting some sun. Do they really drain the entire pool and refill it? I would think they would wait for the dirt to settle and then vacuum it but wtf do I know? lol I have no plans for the holiday, I'm working the day before it and day after so theres not much fun there ya know.

My DH just had serious eye surgery this week so we are going to take it easy the next two weeks or at least until the stitches come out ick.

Cindy I know what you mean about the makeup and curling iron. I look so different with mascara on and I feel better with it on too *cheezy grin*

Mom's birthday is today but we're going there tomorrow to say HB. Other than that..... sosdd.

Whats brewing with you chickies this weekend?

.

More rain here. Boy, I'm glad DH chose a lot up on a little hill! Our backyard is pretty soggy, though, and when the dogs come in, they are wet! It stormed again last night, and there is more rain in the forecast! We don't really have any big plans for the weekend...I've been fighting off a cold and just going on low energy, so even though I should be cleaning something, I'm not! Bad girl. I think I used up a lot of vim and vigor with VBS and vacation! LOL!

That doesn't mean I can't get DD to clean her room, though, does it????

See ya'll later!