3rd time is a charm!

Hey guys. I have been thru this process before. My insurance has approved and last minute I backed out from the fear of anxiety, panic attacks, extra skin, looking sick and so on. I don't have much support. I am 35 with three kids that are very dependent on me as we don't have much family. I know that I hate my stomach. It's so affected me so much I have stopped having sex. I hate my body is gross. And I am ashamed of my hubby looking at me. I want to be content. But fear has paralyzed me. I saw my surgeon last week and was looking forward to getting the lap band but I was told that she would recommend the gastric sleeve as my BMI is 44. She said that the risk of the band are slimmer during the operation but they are higher as time goes on due to the foreign object in my body... So the sleeve it will be. I need motivation from those who have had the surgery.

Thanks guys. ????????????